Holy Conception Batman

[blahblah18]

"Dear, guess what, I'm pregnant!!"
"Aww that's great...... wait a second, I haven't bedded you yet... HAve you been cuckolded?!?!"
"Ummm ...... of course not! It must be God, yes... that's it... God... *cough cough*"
"Oh of course, that makes perfect sense. What a miracle"

[whorlichan]

RE: Holy Conception Batman

I always did wonder why Joseph didn't try to find the kid's real father. At least to make him pay child support for all the shit that must have happened to Jesus as a kid, believing he's the son of God and all that.

[xObserveRx]

RE: Holy Conception Batman

You're both going to hell.

(someone had to say it.)

[whorlichan]

Re: RE: Holy Conception Batman

You're both going to hell.

(someone had to say it.)

Well, I'm Jewish. We don't believe in hell, therefore we can't go there. Actually, so is blah. So we're both fine.

[Chromer]

RE: Re: RE: Holy Conception Batman

Wit a minute. How the hell can you believe in God and not believe in Hell? You crazy Jews. :P

[whorlichan]

RE: Re: RE: Holy Conception Batman

Because our God is a benevolent and loving one (Just ignore Job. He's a special case, and he got better anyway!)

Basically, if you're a really religious Jew, all you hear is that God loves you. As long as you follow the 10 basic rules you're okay--no one except the rabbis really knows all 613 mitzvot that you're supposed to do every day, and I don't think anyone actually does them all, even the ultra-Orthodox. There's not enough time in the day!

There's no hellfire and brimstone and "do this or you'll go to hell" in Judaism. And if you do sin, you can shove all your sins and wrongdoings into a goat and shove it off a cliff, or into a chicken and wave it around your head and toss it over a fence. Then you're free and clear

[Jazzmosis1990]

RE: Re: RE: Holy Conception Batman

you know whats funny? Chromer's avatar was moving in perfect time to the song im listening to.
anyway, alot of stuff in the bible doesn't make sence. i don't think you would go
to hell just for questioning something about jesus

[Tokzic]

Re: RE: Re: RE: Holy Conception Batman

you know whats funny? Chromer's avatar was moving in perfect time to the song im listening to.
anyway, alot of stuff in the bible doesn't make sence. i don't think you would go
to hell just for questioning something about jesus

Didn't you get banned already?

[Jazzmosis1990]

Re: RE: Re: RE: Holy Conception Batman

Didn't you get banned already?

Can I ask what for?

[The_Q]

RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Holy Conception Batman

Jesus is addressing the crowd that had gathered around the adultress. He said to them "May the one among you who has never sinned cast the first stone."

An old woman hobbles up to the front and lobs this massive rock at the naked woman. Jesus turns to her and says "Mom, would you PLEASE stop doing that? You're embarassing me!"

Get it? Immaculate Conception? Eh?

Q

[blahblah18]

RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Holy Conception Batman

Life of Brian?

Also techniaclly I guess there's Gehennah, which is where the concept of hell comes from.

[whorlichan]

RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Holy Conception Batman

* Gehenom. At least that's the correct Hebrew pronunciation, I don't know what you Americans have turned it into.

And that's the goat thing. You toss it off the cliff into Gehenom, but people don't go there.

[blahblah18]

RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Holy Conception Batman

I was jstu saying where the others stole the concept of hell from.

[xObserveRx]

RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Holy Conception Batman

You both don't believe in hell? You're going to hell for that and maybe when you're in hell you'll say,
"Wow, Dan was right, i'm actually IN hell... Maybe I should've believed in it..."

Then you'll realize that won't do you any good now and say,

"Nah, I'm already in hell, fuck that, I'm still not believing in it."

[Moogy]

Hell sounds like a pretty swell place. I hope I go there when I die!