FML quotes.
Posted on: July 6, 2009, at 12:26:02pm

This was taken off fmylife. This did not actually happen to me. It's just copypasta of my favorite ones.

Today, my dad told me he knew exactly where to poke me in the stomach to make me have instant diarrhea. I joked and said I didn't believe him. I am now stuck cleaning shit out of my favorite jeans. FML

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML

Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

1. 1: 5.points
   Posted at 4:39pm on July 6th, 2009

   Haha, nice. xD
2. 2: sushigrlOOk
   Posted at 11:23pm on July 8th, 2009

   i love that site xD