The Limerick Thread

[Omeganitros]

I'm ashamed that the Haiku Thread didn't do well at all..

Limericks are great, but the best
Usually are about sex.
They gusto with virgins
Masculine urgins
And burst with erotic effects.

Just to be honest with myself, I didn't make that one. But man, I sure wish I did.

[Kamoa_Han_Senzui]

Originally Posted by Omeganitros

Limericks are great, but the best
Usually are about sex.
They gusto with virgins
Masculine urgins
And burst with erotic effects.

That's hot, and the best limerick that will be posted in this thread.

::EDIT:: I'm actually going to post a limerick.
There once was a man named McGill,
Whose acts grew exceedingly ill,
He insisted on habits,
involving white rabbits,
and a bird with a flexible bill.

Still not as good as Omeganitros's.

[Cenright]

There once was a man from nantucket.....


_wrong one_

[alainbryden]

Once more I find myself not sleeping.
The hairs on my skin cells are creeping.
My bed is so near,
Don't know what I fear,
But I'll stay up 'till morning's sun seeping.

[QreepyBORIS]

Da da da da da da da da da
Da da da da da da da da da
Da da da da da
Da da da da da
Da da da da da da da da da


Win.

[Kagome]

There once was a man from Peru
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe
He woke with a fright
In the middle of the night
To realize that his dream had come true

[Neonatrias]

There was once a girl named Rose.
She had quite a noticeable nose.
She turned down a route,
Poked some dude's eye out,
And that's just the way that it goes.

...Wow, that was crap. XD

[Tank101]

There once was a thread in chit-chat,
Everyone thought twas all that,
The Limerick Thread,
The thread title said,
Wasn't all that phat.

[alainbryden]

Then tank came along to the thread,
Expressed his opinion of dread.
Tried a lim'ric feat,
But messed up the beat,
And so came out looking brain dead.

[Tank101]

Well, I could care less,
I am better at haikus,
Haikus r teh rox!

[evilbutterfly]

Newbs often start these with "There once was,"
And, well, I do think that is because:
Those unoriginal bafoons
With skulls empty like balloons,
Only do what any stupid man does.

lol pwn'd


Limericks, well I say screw 'em.
Because I really can't seem to do 'em.
With their crazy rhyme scheme
And their silly ass themes.
Well actually, they're my fav kind of poem

Ohnoes slant rhyme'd!

EDIT: Fix'd! I wrote and rewrote both of those several times, so that just slipped through the cracks :P.

[CypherToorima]

their*

[Tasselfoot]

I'm the king of TWG,
Damn. The skill you gots to see.
Whether wolf chasin',
Or a chased mason,
No way you gonna kill me.

[hydrojakep]

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were caught, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee."
"Let us fly," said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

[Neonatrias]

I play a game called DDR.
The task, it was kinda like RAAAR.
It started to suck,
But I don't give a f*,
Because my life ain't goin' far.

=P

[alainbryden]

Every limiic except mine, and Kamoa_Han_Senzui's, if it wasn't copied, and all the copied ones were wrong.
It's not just a rhyme scheme people. You need the right number of syllables in each line.


There seems to be quite some debate
On the pentameter at stake.
There are some real strict rules,
try and follow them, fools,
The count goes 8, 8, 6, 6, 8.


There are extensions to the definition of a limeric, but they haven't been properly followed yet.

http://www.sfu.ca/~finley/discussion.html

[Tasselfoot]

I was taught that they didn't have to be an exact syllable length. Just that the 1,2,5 are long and the 3,4 are short... and generally in the 7-10 and 4-6 range.

mine is 7,7,5,5,7 i believe.

[alainbryden]

You're right, they don't.

There are extensions to the definition of a limeric, but they haven't been properly followed yet.

http://www.sfu.ca/~finley/discussion.html

[hydrojakep]

Your mama, your daddy said wee
Then they took a huge pee
Twas in the pot
Aim there a lot
Now he injured his knee.

[evilbutterfly]

I was never taught an exact number of syllables, just that they 125 are about the same and 34 are about the same. Limericks are not very rigid, and can vary in this way. For example, the infamous limerick, "There once was a man from Nantucket" has 9 syllables. The rhyming lines don't even really need to have the same number of syllables, but they oughta be close. It just has a certain flow to it, that's all.

Ya know what I was thinking? Make a gangsta rap, entirely with limericks.

Yo, this be a gangsta rap,
Mess with me, I'll bust a cap.
One guy made me itch,
Acted like a stupid bitch,
So here's what I did bout that.

I broke out the .45
The stupid mofo tried to dive,
I shot between his eyes,
And thus he dies,
Played me and couldn't stay alive.

So then his brother and his crew,
Said "here's what we gonna do:
Well go in eb's place,
And bust his face,
Then leave before 10 past 2."

But their plan had a flaw,
A little error that I saw.
Outnumbered 2 to 1
Outmanned and outgunned
I was sure that they'd fall.

So we attacked them in the night.
Took 'em down without a fight.
Their boys were fried,
All but they guy's bro died,
And all he could say was "Shite!"

So I came up to the boy,
Ready to play him like a toy,
I revealed my knife,
He begged for his life,
But I gutted him with great joy.

So the moral of this story
Is that there ain't a bit of glory
In screwing with eb,
Just try, and you'll see,
Your end will turn out gory.

Yeah, I'm straight up G. I even have my own hand symbol:

eb fo' sheezy.