On the subject of Toxicity/Community Check-in (TWG)

[roundbox]

My two cents:

This probably won't be my only post on the matter, so don't expect me to cover everything.
To preface, I have not read the most recent game. I'm not attempting to minimize people's feelings or experiences, so if I say something presumptive about the recent game, assume it's at its face: presumptive. I am speaking on behalf of my own experience here.

Speaking as a general trend for FFRTWG, I would say hostility has been decreasing over the years. I firmly believe that what is perceive as toxicity and hostility has trended downward. I will make a few reference points of recent memory where bouts of toxicity have been tangible.
-Adam being force replaced as a result. Most people agreed his posts were disgusting (pretty sure they were re: someone's mental health, and therefore crossed the line being too personal
-rzr being super banned not only for cheating, but lying, making excuses, and insulting his way through the situation. The super ban came from the discussion afterwards for posts he directed towards choof which were personal and disgusting in nature.

These have had visible consequences. We recognize and agree across the board when someone is being overtly harmful to the community and/or specific people. However, these examples stand out since something was done. To not point the finger at anyone, let me bring in some scenarios where I might have been perceived as hostile. Take note that I have not been banned or reprimanded for any of my posts.
-See postgame for the most recent FE mystery game. IIRC, this is where I absolutely unloaded on Freezin for "being on a fucking high horse," insinuating that he was being pretentious and dismissive. I called people "fucking idiots" for their inability to play and solve mystery games. I'm pretty sure this can be construed as saying FFR sucks at mystery games.
-Deadchats. Most of these logs have been purged from existence, but I think deadchats are where other players and myself have been overly critical. This leads to some nasty posts at times, and I know I've tossed my share of "town is being so fucking stupid" or "x has shitty play this game."
-I'm pretty sure I went off on Red Blaster pretty hard after Mashi/DBP wolf team convinced him to vote for me/plop.

As I mentioned, I have not been reprimanded. For the first example, I know I apologized within the thread after cooling down. This brings me to my next point that has been acknowledged in the thread. Emotions run high. Games can last week's, especially large ones where things can really get down to the wire. A game with 24 people takes longer than 9 people, and by the end of a 24-person game, things get intense because you don't want to let your teammates or yourself down. Most people don't want to go so far just to lose. It's hard not being heard. When it comes to moderating this, how do you even measure and enforce emotions running high? Imagine someone's behaviour is labeled toxic. Can they lob emotions as a potential explanation, or is that going to be the only way people respond to accusations, and it becomes an excuse? This line of logic is a bit hyperbolic, admittedly, but I think it taps into measuring the "how do we deal with saying it was emotion" vs "said without emotions running high." I think it's impossible to distinguish perfectly.

One aspect of our culture that isn't necessarily accommodating, I think, is something akin to an "old boys club," where only a certain sect of users are taken seriously in-game (and out-of-game, too). I know I belong to this since people frequently take my reads with more than a grain of salt instead of moving past them. I know that this post will be taken seriously, so that's why I think it's important for me to respond.
I think certain vets here and new users have a bias pressed against them for possible reasons of inexperience, lack of results, user demographics, or general lack of trust. For new users, I think the inexperience and trust stand out, and for veteran users, I think demographics and results stand out. I know I'm guilty of making judgment calls on people's reads because they've had a trend of being wrong. I've glanced past certain users because I perceived their skill to be low. I feel like I've improved on this and judged less, but implicit bias is hard to move past once someone has said something that rubbed you the wrong way at one point. One example that I feel stands out is Lar. When Lar first started, he had his Lar method of analyzing votes and whatnot, and I know he was the subject of some lines of ridicule. His method didn't seem to get results, and it seemed like he was a one-trick pony that was constantly or mostly wrong. However, I think Lar is a beast at the game now. I do think he is taken more seriously now, but he has results that got him out of that social rut. Some people are not as fortunate and have a hard time posting and being taken seriously. I think this is an issue that should get some attention as well.

So, I think the calls on toxicity come from something I'm seeing as an exception and not the rule. TWG culture, I feel, was much more cutthroat and hostile previously, and I divulged examples from my past to describe the culture and what was deemed acceptable or reasonable behaviour in the past (in addition to the bans on unacceptable behaviour). On the whole, I think people are much less rude than before. If people are exceptionally rude now, I think they're standing out rather than being a part of the norm. As a community, we've banded together against poisonous behaviour. I think we've come a long way.

One last note: what is the definition of toxicity we are looking to draw and create rules about? What's off the table? Some more objectivity here would be appreciated (yes, I get we're dealing with a topic with subjectivity in its rulings). Like Charu is saying, does it cross the line of toxic? How do we know if it did/didn't? Were emotions running high? I provided some solid examples of what the community agreed upon as "too far," and would like to see discussion shift towards that in addition to my points about bias.

TL;DR
read my post