Leaving FFR for a while

[korny]

Originally Posted by Cavernio

I'm right there with Dev, you should not be in that situation riotpolice.

Riopolice has actually done nothing wrong, that's the thing. Not obeying your parents' rules when you're 20 and you live with them, isn't doing something wrong when their rules don't revolve around a properly functioning household but revolve around trying to control you. 20 is a not a child, nor even borderline a child. It's 100% not acceptable for a parent of a 20 year old to be trying to change their kid's behaviour by treating them like they're 6. My mom tried to pull shit like that with me, and I gladly chose to lose financial support.

It's on the parents to not support their kids if, as adults, they are too much a burden on them. It's on the parents to set good examples and be able to talk reasonably with their GROWN children.

And then there's ALSO the fact that a firearm were discharged to make a point...ummm...yeah. Guess what? As an adult, you are free to not put up with this shit. Don't forget it.

Are you serious right now

His age at this point doesn't matter -at all- because he IS 20. ITS THEIR HOUSE that he lives in AS an adult by quite honestly, their good will. The environment in which they seek and strive to maintain is a freedom they are completely entitled to, and if they feel like it's not up to their standard it is completely o.k. for them to enforce that, even if it isn't founded in reality, and so long as it doesn't conflict with someone's safety.

No ones arguing against the fact that there is a serious communication issue in this house, but that's irrelevant because communication doesn't seem to matter here with someone like riots dad. It's his way or the highway, so deal with it, or figure something out.

Obviously the manner in which that has been enforced in this case is unacceptable, but I think you're failing to put into perspective how the parent feels, who especially isn't so generationally inclined so to speak. From a loving parents perspective who wants to see their progeny optimize their time in order to "be the best they can be" -while- being in their house, they may find difficulty and conflictions with the thought that, A. I don't see the benefit in you using your time this way when your goals to succeed appear to be this and B. I don't want to make my child have to go through he struggle of making it on your own, but I do want to make it clear that I expect certain things while you are living here without financial obligations due to our goodwill to provide this convenience.

If you know the people whether they be family or friends are prone to irrational behavior, and you want to live your life the way you see fit knowing it will conflict with the standard of the house you're currently living in, do something about it.

[rushyrulz]

Your ideals are fine, korny. In this specific instance though, the rules are irrational and the consequences are over the top.

Originally Posted by korny

Are you serious right now

btw, you know this makes your post look like shit right?

[r]

Don't turn into a rotting hunk of meat.

[korny]

Originally Posted by rushyrulz

Your ideals are fine, korny. In this specific instance though, the rules are irrational and the consequences are over the top.

Except the rules don't matter. As long as they don't jeopardize his safety, he is living there by their good will. If there is an inability to communicate your perspective, then your options are pretty much laid out in front of you.

[rushyrulz]

Yeah, it's kind of a shitty situation and I feel sorry for people who are in it.

[welsh_girl]

Good luck m8

[gold stinger]

I like how this thread turned into critical thinking due to the seriousness of it.

[Cavernio]

Originally Posted by korny

Are you serious right now

His age at this point doesn't matter -at all- because he IS 20. ITS THEIR HOUSE that he lives in AS an adult by quite honestly, their good will. The environment in which they seek and strive to maintain is a freedom they are completely entitled to, and if they feel like it's not up to their standard it is completely o.k. for them to enforce that, even if it isn't founded in reality, and so long as it doesn't conflict with someone's safety.

It's not OK for someone to strongarm someone into behaving the way they want them to. It's sickening. It was disgusting when my mom tried to do it to me ('he who pays the piper calls the tune') because it IS a parent/child relationship. Because most of the child's life the parent HAS been in a position to control their child, and rightly so...when they're a kid.

I mean, no one would settle for a landlord acting like this (or at least I hope I would think they wouldn't), so what's the difference between this and a parent? Just because the parent is being generous (and I know and see that it IS a generosity) to allow their grown child to live at home, it doesn't then make it right, in the least, to dangle that above someone's head.

Furthermore, if you've reigned with an iron fist over your children into their adulthood, if there has been abuse or manipulation, then there becomes a fucked up situation where the progeny will still defer to their parents out of the progeny still FEELING like a child when their parents are involved, and the parent, in that situation, is partially to blame. And that's just not a healthy relationship.
(I suppose though, this is very, very much me touting North American ideals of freedom and independence though...most other cultures seem to have strongly knit family ties where children will defer to their parents right up to their deathbed and to do otherwise is scandalous.)

Originally Posted by korny

From a loving parents perspective who wants to see their progeny optimize their time in order to "be the best they can be" -while- being in their house, they may find difficulty and conflictions with the thought that, A. I don't see the benefit in you using your time this way when your goals to succeed appear to be this and B. I don't want to make my child have to go through he struggle of making it on your own, but I do want to make it clear that I expect certain things while you are living here without financial obligations due to our goodwill to provide this convenience.

If you know the people whether they be family or friends are prone to irrational behavior, and you want to live your life the way you see fit knowing it will conflict with the standard of the house you're currently living in, do something about it.

But if the situation is such that the parent is actively abusive and manipulative, you're now victim blaming. And sure, if the victim is strong enough to leave the situation, good on them.

Of course, you'll note this IS my advice to riotpolice...just leave.

Like, it's wholeheartedly fucked up to defend someone who is actively trying to manipulate someone just because there's a degree of love. To take this to a ludicrous extreme to convey my point, what if he were actively telling his kid to, oh, offer sexual favors to get better grades and get a good job. His dad's just looking out for his kid, right? The dad perceives that this is in his kid's best interest, that this will help him immensely through life, etc. Does this not make the idea of dangling room and board over your child's head, threatening them with taking something away because they aren't using their sexual prowess enough to get ahead in life, rather disgusting? I hope it does, because if so then it invalidates the point of 'well, the dad has good intentions and just wants what's best' and 'look how generous his dad is being' and 'his dad's within his rights'.

No, his dad's NOT within his rights. And that it comes from a loved one, it makes it worse because even if he is 20, he's still going to love and care about his dad, he still probably respects him, he's capable of seeing that his dad is being this way out of love, and he still had, for most of his life, a relationship with his dad where his dad, rightfully, had all the power. So no, it's not like he's suddenly 20 and is now immune to manipulation. It's called manipulation for a reason, and he's being manipulated right now. To have the attitude that so many have of 'dude respect your dad' is just mind-boggling to me.

[korny]

I think you're missing the point where we both agree it's not OK, but that it doesn't matter. No one is defending this old fashioned mentality that riot needs to abandon his gaming lifestyle in order to be a man, I'm stating that that reality exists, regardless of how ludicrous it actually is and the way that his dad enforces it. Riot doesn't seem to have the ability to communicate these sentiments, at least not at this point in his life and therefore must act accordingly.

Landlord analogy doesn't work at all, because it is a completely different dynamic. Rooming with someone who expects A. without there being financial obligations, opposed to living at disclosed location under the rules set by owner which you -do- pay.

Our stance that we are actually in agreement with, doesn't matter. It's not ok, but it doesn't matter. This was never an argument over how riots dad should be handling his situation, because it is already painfully clear that he doesn't handle this the way a parent should. The point is that because this is clear, regardless of how frustrating it is, there are now choices for him to make in order to abide by or escape that reality.

[Cavernio]

Originally Posted by L.B.D.D

maybe u shouldnt have played so much

Originally Posted by XCV

I'm not going to lie, you have taken this game far too seriously for a very long time. And seeing as you've been a well and proper adult for a couple of years now (most likely,) you probably do need to find a job. It sucks that your parents have chosen that particular method of impressing that fact on you, though.

Get outta there, man. Best of luck. Come back soon.

Originally Posted by L.B.D.D

"You don't think gaming can bring you money? I want you to look up a youtube user named 'Markiplier' and see what he's doing. He makes videos on the games he plays and gets thousands of dollars doing it. In fact, his only job is gaming!"

i lol'd really hard
please try not to use these middle school type of arguments against your dad, he might shoot your computer too


compromise with dad and don't play ffr around the house

cant you play somewhere else or like not play if he's paying for a lot of your stuff like rent, tuition, whatevs (i mean it's the least u can do rite)

i know ur dad went to SrS measures but i'm assuming you're not paying for everything (internet, phone, utilities, food, rent, tuition.. do you pay for everything?) maybe the least you can do is respect some of AuThoriTy

cause i'm 100% sure this isn't the first time your dad asked you to stop playing games and shit

Originally Posted by L.B.D.D

tl;dr

it's both ur and ur dad's fault (yours for making him go over the top, him for going over the top), somebody's gotta give so i guess it's you since u can't live on your own atm

Originally Posted by Kekeb

It sounds like your father wants you to become more independent. Also, a small fraction of people making bank playing games doesn't justify spending an exorbitant amount of time tapping keys.

Originally Posted by Mahou

His house, his rules. Good luck.

Originally Posted by Kekeb

What? His dad is clearly rash, but he's hardly endangering his child.

Originally Posted by FontSize72LOL

While i'm pretty sure there were much better ways for your dad to display his distaste for your gaming habit, and get his point across.. I don't think we should hop on any bandwagon to demonize his father for this considering we only know one side of the story and not all of the facts. I doubt his dad would shoot his phone for no reason, and from the facts that I've seen posted in the thread, Riot has been disobeying his dads rules for a while.

It may be harsh, but my suggestion is that if you don't like the situation you're living under then you should probably work on finding a job and an apartment somewhere.

Right, well, these, I think, sum up the posts I have disagreement with, there're a few more later on I didn't bother quoting. Banks give loans you know...not that, it seems, riotpolice will ever read this.

[L.B.D.D]

so are u saying riotpolice contributed nothing to his dad's over the top behavior

like this riotpolice dude was just chilling on his computer one day and boom his phone got shot?

lol get real, wtf is up with these people putting 100% blame on the dad, yeah he went way overboard (u shouldnt shoot things, really) but i mean maybe riotpolice was on his nerves and riotpolice didnt notice for a few years (communication issues)

u kno maybe if u said like hey dad im studying and i want to play some games can u let me do that...........................

[korny]

You're rationalizing and assuming again. It doesn't matter if he fueled the fire to his dad's reaction, the point is that he reacted the way he did hence the thread we are posting in that wouldn't exist if his dad had acted like an actual parent who disciplined rationally.

[Mahou]

Originally Posted by L.B.D.D

so are u saying riotpolice contributed nothing to his dad's over the top behavior

like this riotpolice dude was just chilling on his computer one day and boom his phone got shot?

lol get real, wtf is up with these people putting 100% blame on the dad, yeah he went way overboard (u shouldnt shoot things, really) but i mean maybe riotpolice was on his nerves and riotpolice didnt notice for a few years (communication issues)

u kno maybe if u said like hey dad im studying and i want to play some games can u let me do that...........................

I actually agree with you on this as well.

[korny]

To agree with that, would be to assume that riots dad responds to reason in regards to his gaming habits.

Anyone who says something like "shake my hand and tell me that gaming isn't for men and I'm going to stop gaming", is clearly someone so set in their ways that they are going to make any effort to communicate the ridiculousness of that, a behemoth of a task.

[Pseudo Enigma]

too bad we'll never hear Riot's dad's side of the story. We're hearing it from Riot so just about any of the information could be omitted/warped.

discussion of this is pretty pointless if you realize that *shrug*

[Mahou]

Exactly. Which is why I don't really care. It's not like it's the end of the world...When he gets his things all situated, there is plenty of time for fiffer.

[korny]

For the sake of discussion, it is good to communicate these things to make clear why some of the advice given in this thread, is absurd if we are to assume riots account of this is exactly as is. I never doubted for a moment that riots account could possibly be filtered.

[Cavernio]

It doesn't matter that from the chat log I read that I got the impression that riotpolice seems childish and I now have an impression of him where I could see him missing out on opportunities in life because he's too focussed on video games. Doesn't matter at all.

Dad shouldn't be trying to discipline a 20 year old, I don't care if his son lives with him or not. He's not 12, and to treat him like he is disturbing to me. There is no side to someone controlling someone else unless it's a reaction to being controlled. Like if riotpolice were threatening his dad with something if he couldn't live in the house, which I sincerely doubt has happened.

[Pseudo Enigma]

plz tell me you don't actually think parenting stops when your children become adults

[Mahou]

That's not what he's saying.