Make me laugh for $100 - Page 2

Grandiagod · 04-19-2006, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by siikduke

Would adult jokes be counted as Illegal?

You might get arrested. Better watch out!!!

tomtom224 · 04-19-2006, 01:24 AM

A blonde woman is driving down a road one day, when all of a sudden she gets into a horrible accident. By the time the police arrive, she is standing outside of her car, putting on lipstick. A cop goes to her and asks, "Ma'am, can you tell me what happened here, exactly?"

The woman replied, "Well, I was driving down this road when out of nowhere a tree popped out in front of me! I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! So I swerved to the left, but then another tree got in my way so finally I swerved --"

The cop cut her off, figuring out what the problem was. "Ma'am, please. There's not another tree on this road for a mile. That was just your air freshener swinging back and forth!!"

*Edited for my stupid spelling/grammar mistakes.

bubble-car · 04-19-2006, 07:59 AM

Ladies and jellystones,
I have come before you to stand behind you.
I have come to talk about something i know nothing about
Good Friday, being next tuesday,
there is a mothers' meeting for fathers only
Entrance is free, pay at the door
Bring your own seats and sit on the floor.

siikduke · 04-19-2006, 05:13 PM

Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Number 4

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, His elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am,if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."

Number 3

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

Number 2

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't!" she exclaimed. "Yes, I did." he replied. "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle-slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."

Number 1

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other s in your oatmeal."

End Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tokzic · 04-19-2006, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by siikduke

blah blah blah

would you stfu you have enough money already

dAnceguy117 · 04-19-2006, 06:07 PM

**Chromer** · 04-19-2006, 07:47 PM

That made me laugh. Ok I got an adult joke.

One day, a woman visited a sex psychologist about her love life. The doctor asked here what was wrong.

"My husband and I's love life just isn't what it used to be. I wish there was something I could do to get him in the mood."

The doctor asked if her husband was taking Viagra.

"Oh no, He said he would never use a drug to do what nature intended."

The doctor asked if her husband drank coffee.

"Yeah, we have a cup of coffee every morning."

The doctor then suggested that she put the Viagra in his morning coffee and see what would happen.

Three days later, the woman visited the doctor again. The doctor asked if she had put the Viagra in the coffee.

"Yes! It worked! When we had a cup of coffee I put the Viagra in and he drank it. 5 minutes later he threw the chair out, threw me on top of the table, ripped off my clothes and ****ed me four ways to Sunday!"

"That's great!" exclaimed the doctor.

"Yeah, but now we're banned from ever going to Starbucks again."

That's not really funny, but it strikes a chord with middle aged adults. =P

terence1357 · 04-20-2006, 01:07 AM

siikdude should be gone for posting jokes from ebaumsworld

terence1357 · 04-20-2006, 01:07 AM

Skikamukazi · 04-20-2006, 01:20 AM

I thought of this one myself:

Your mother is so POOR and so NASTY that after she is done with her PERIOD she takes out the TAMPON and hangs it to dry so she can use it AGAIN the next month!

**Freak83** · 04-20-2006, 01:04 PM

A very proper lady began planning a week's camping vacation for her and her Baptist Church group. She wrote to a campground for reservations. She wanted to make sure that the campground was fully equipped and modern, but couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. So, she decided on the old-fashioned term "Bathroom Commode" Once written down she still was not comfortable. Finally she decided on the abbreviation "B.C." and wrote, "does your campground have its own "B.C.? "When the campground owner received the letter, he couldn't figure out what she meant by "B.C. "He showed it to several of the campers, one of whom suggested the lady was obviously referring to a Baptist Church since there was a letterhead on the paper which referred to a Baptist Church.

So he sent this reply:

Dear Madam: The B.C. is located nine miles from the campground in a beautiful grove of trees. I admit it is quite a distance if you are in the habit of going regularly. No doubt you will be pleased to know that it will seat 350 people at one time, and it is open on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday of each week. Some folks like to take their lunch and make a day of it. The acoustics are very good, so everyone can hear even the quietest passages. It may interest you to know that my daughter met her husband there. We are also having a fund-raiser to purchase new seats, as the old ones have holes in them. Unfortunately my wife is ill and has not been able to attend regularly. It's been a good six months since she last went. It pains her very much not to be able to go more often. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, especially in cold weather. Perhaps I could accompany you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks who will be there.

Twilight_Overlord · 04-20-2006, 09:06 PM

M&M's Condoms.

They melt in your mouth, not your hands.

I win the thread.

Twilight_Overlord · 04-20-2006, 09:11 PM

Star-Trek Condoms.

Going boldly where no man has ever gone before.

I win the thread again.

**iPatcH** · 04-21-2006, 08:50 AM

black boobies

pazreyesreyes · 04-21-2006, 05:59 PM

this wiil make you laugh, www.ebaumsworld.com/audio/dirtyturban.html

Tokzic · 04-21-2006, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twilight_Overlord

I win the thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twilight_Overlord

I win the thread again.

if that's winning then call me a loser

ps o hay u play ygo ull appreciate this

whats the opposite of dark magician

LIGHT MAGICIAN

LOLOLOLOL

PS: MIRROR FORCE IS ILLEGAL

PPS: mcdonalds condoms im lovin it i win the thread

TIMEDISORT · 04-21-2006, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pazreyesreyes

this wiil make you laugh, www.ebaumsworld.com/audio/dirtyturban.html

Thats so funny. That made my day. I'm gonna tell that to all my friends tommorrow lol.

ahem......

one fine day
in the middle of the night

2 dead boys
went out to fight

back to back
they faced each other

took out there swords
and killed his mother

the deaf policeman heard the noise
and went to kill the two dead boys

if you don't belive my lies are true
ask the blind man, he saw it to

TheEvilHobo · 04-21-2006, 06:30 PM

One time I went to play DDR at Funtasia and There was a huge hole in my shorts that i didnt see. People were watching me. They saw my boxers but my boxers had smiley faces on them so it was all good.

TIMEDISORT · 04-21-2006, 07:06 PM

Adult Image

**Doug31** · 04-21-2006, 07:58 PM

Hey, anyone with a millionth of a brain could tell that the number of marvs and perfects is way less than that max combo. You certainly altered it somehow. By the way, Nima used a hidden arrow on Green Twilight, but that's not on the high score list anymore. I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAd Blur. *Hits your funny bone.* You laughed! I win! Hey, you're not wearing shorts! I think that I want no it to be good. What i like more on Spaniard is that there is girls. = A poor internet translation. Have a enjoy!

04-19-2006, 01:24 AM	#22
tomtom224 FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1	Re: Make me laugh for $100 A blonde woman is driving down a road one day, when all of a sudden she gets into a horrible accident. By the time the police arrive, she is standing outside of her car, putting on lipstick. A cop goes to her and asks, "Ma'am, can you tell me what happened here, exactly?" The woman replied, "Well, I was driving down this road when out of nowhere a tree popped out in front of me! I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! So I swerved to the left, but then another tree got in my way so finally I swerved --" The cop cut her off, figuring out what the problem was. "Ma'am, please. There's not another tree on this road for a mile. That was just your air freshener swinging back and forth!!" *Edited for my stupid spelling/grammar mistakes.

04-19-2006, 07:59 AM	#23
bubble-car FFR Player Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: wirral, northwest england Posts: 0	Re: Make me laugh for $100 Ladies and jellystones, I have come before you to stand behind you. I have come to talk about something i know nothing about Good Friday, being next tuesday, there is a mothers' meeting for fathers only Entrance is free, pay at the door Bring your own seats and sit on the floor.

04-19-2006, 05:13 PM	#24
siikduke FFR Player Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 9	Re: Make me laugh for $100 Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Number 4 A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, His elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am,if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221." Number 3 One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" Number 2 Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't!" she exclaimed. "Yes, I did." he replied. "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle-slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too." Number 1 A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other s in your oatmeal." End Adult Joke Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

04-19-2006, 06:07 PM	#26
dAnceguy117 new hand moves = dab Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: he/they Age: 33 Posts: 10,094	Re: Make me laugh for $100

04-19-2006, 07:47 PM	#27
Chromer Hookers and Blow Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: You heard the robot. No fun. Age: 34 Posts: 4,981	Re: Make me laugh for $100 That made me laugh. Ok I got an adult joke. One day, a woman visited a sex psychologist about her love life. The doctor asked here what was wrong. "My husband and I's love life just isn't what it used to be. I wish there was something I could do to get him in the mood." The doctor asked if her husband was taking Viagra. "Oh no, He said he would never use a drug to do what nature intended." The doctor asked if her husband drank coffee. "Yeah, we have a cup of coffee every morning." The doctor then suggested that she put the Viagra in his morning coffee and see what would happen. Three days later, the woman visited the doctor again. The doctor asked if she had put the Viagra in the coffee. "Yes! It worked! When we had a cup of coffee I put the Viagra in and he drank it. 5 minutes later he threw the chair out, threw me on top of the table, ripped off my clothes and ****ed me four ways to Sunday!" "That's great!" exclaimed the doctor. "Yeah, but now we're banned from ever going to Starbucks again." That's not really funny, but it strikes a chord with middle aged adults. =P __________________

04-20-2006, 01:07 AM	#28
terence1357 FFR Player Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 304	Re: Make me laugh for $100 siikdude should be gone for posting jokes from ebaumsworld __________________ k

04-20-2006, 01:07 AM	#29
terence1357 FFR Player Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 304	Re: Make me laugh for $100 PS: __________________ k

04-20-2006, 01:20 AM	#30
Skikamukazi FFR Player Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Fairfax, VA Age: 35 Posts: 1,394	Re: Make me laugh for $100 I thought of this one myself: Your mother is so POOR and so NASTY that after she is done with her PERIOD she takes out the TAMPON and hangs it to dry so she can use it AGAIN the next month! __________________

04-20-2006, 01:04 PM	#31
Freak83 FFR Simfile Author Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 3,281	Re: Make me laugh for $100 A very proper lady began planning a week's camping vacation for her and her Baptist Church group. She wrote to a campground for reservations. She wanted to make sure that the campground was fully equipped and modern, but couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. So, she decided on the old-fashioned term "Bathroom Commode" Once written down she still was not comfortable. Finally she decided on the abbreviation "B.C." and wrote, "does your campground have its own "B.C.? "When the campground owner received the letter, he couldn't figure out what she meant by "B.C. "He showed it to several of the campers, one of whom suggested the lady was obviously referring to a Baptist Church since there was a letterhead on the paper which referred to a Baptist Church. So he sent this reply: Dear Madam: The B.C. is located nine miles from the campground in a beautiful grove of trees. I admit it is quite a distance if you are in the habit of going regularly. No doubt you will be pleased to know that it will seat 350 people at one time, and it is open on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday of each week. Some folks like to take their lunch and make a day of it. The acoustics are very good, so everyone can hear even the quietest passages. It may interest you to know that my daughter met her husband there. We are also having a fund-raiser to purchase new seats, as the old ones have holes in them. Unfortunately my wife is ill and has not been able to attend regularly. It's been a good six months since she last went. It pains her very much not to be able to go more often. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, especially in cold weather. Perhaps I could accompany you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks who will be there.

04-20-2006, 09:06 PM	#32
Twilight_Overlord FFR Player Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 317	Re: Make me laugh for $100 M&M's Condoms. They melt in your mouth, not your hands. I win the thread. __________________ You should value your education more than this crap of Flash Flash bull.

04-20-2006, 09:11 PM	#33
Twilight_Overlord FFR Player Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 317	Re: Make me laugh for $100 Star-Trek Condoms. Going boldly where no man has ever gone before. I win the thread again. __________________ You should value your education more than this crap of Flash Flash bull.

04-21-2006, 08:50 AM	#34
iPatcH Swamp Lemons Rule Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: not detroit you idiots Age: 35 Posts: 3,370	Re: Make me laugh for $100 black boobies __________________ put on a donk on it

04-21-2006, 05:59 PM	#35
pazreyesreyes Banned Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 37	Re: Make me laugh for $100 this wiil make you laugh, www.ebaumsworld.com/audio/dirtyturban.html

04-21-2006, 06:30 PM	#38
TheEvilHobo FFR Player Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Everett, WA Age: 32 Posts: 521	Re: Make me laugh for $100 One time I went to play DDR at Funtasia and There was a huge hole in my shorts that i didnt see. People were watching me. They saw my boxers but my boxers had smiley faces on them so it was all good. __________________ I make music, listen to my tracks here -Octopodes on Facebook - or here - Octopodes on Soundcloud - My music cures AIDS

04-21-2006, 07:06 PM	#39
TIMEDISORT FFR Player Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: TIMEDISORTING LAND Age: 29 Posts: 297	Re: Make me laugh for $100 Adult Image __________________ CAPS LOCK OWNS ME

04-21-2006, 07:58 PM	#40
Doug31 Falcon Paaaauuuunch!!!!!! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Washington Age: 36 Posts: 6,811	Re: Make me laugh for $100 Hey, anyone with a millionth of a brain could tell that the number of marvs and perfects is way less than that max combo. You certainly altered it somehow. By the way, Nima used a hidden arrow on Green Twilight, but that's not on the high score list anymore. I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAd Blur. Hits your funny bone. You laughed! I win! Hey, you're not wearing shorts! I think that I want no it to be good. What i like more on Spaniard is that there is girls. = A poor internet translation. Have a enjoy! __________________

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