How to get over social anxiety?

[wargasm1]

keep talking to lots of people, working in public helps.

[kommisar]

Just be nice and chill with People without being someone you're not. The more you think about their perception of you, the more likely you are to act on anxiety.

[Wayward Vagabond]

Like I said take tons of drugs

[SC_coolguy44]

I feel the same way wondering if people even want me around them, especially because I have been rejected by my own 'friends' before. I'm not good at starting conversations and also have lots of trouble meeting strangers IRL. Just like A2P, this is something major I have struggled with my whole life.

[Abstract Art]

I know the exact feeling you're referring to, A2P. To be honest, it hasn't always been a thing that's bothered me, either. I noticed that the feeling you're describing became more prominent and apparent when most of my REALLY, REALLY close friends started to go their separate ways in life (ie. some dropped out of high school, some moved away, some went to different universities etc.). I think the feeling you're describing is a general insecurity about constantly being compelled to get people to like you.


The best thing I can suggest is that you just develop really close relationships with a select few people that you've known for a really long time, generally when you have a solid base foundation of buddies that you're absolutely comfortable being with, most of your insecurities just go away. But, when you don't have that solid foundation of a good support network of friends, then you begin trying to seek approval from literally everyone you come into contact with - including random people you've never even spoke to. It does become a nightmare, but just know you're not alone.

Originally Posted by kommisar

Just be nice and chill with People without being someone you're not. The more you think about their perception of you, the more likely you are to act on anxiety.

Definitely this.





Edit: I'm also from Chicago, lol.

[welsh_girl]

Know that feel bro. It's why I'm a social hermit and have no friends.

[i heart candy]

Be yourself and stop being a poo c.

[i will pwn u]

As a couple people already have said , the biggest thing that has helped me get over my anxieties was realizing people come and go in life as you grow and only put effort into caring what the important people think. Idgaf what anyone really thinks of me at this point in life and it has helped me a lot.. be yourself and be happy and don't care . It makes life a little easier imo.

[Cavernio]

The people who will judge you negatively based on everyday things you may say or do aren't the people that you're going to want to socialize with anyways.
I think you need to remind yourself that you have absolutely no idea what most people think about you most of the time, and so not only is it detrimental to your ego to think about how they might not like you, whatever you're thinking is also probably wrong. Again though, those couple of times when you find out that you are right, that that person thinks poorly of you, they don't matter to you anymore. They're mean, ignorant, stupid and judgemental. And it's not just 'not letting them get to you', because that implies a struggle and you overcome something. The struggle shouldn't exist in the first place.
Which is pretty much what everyone else has been saying; don't give a shit.
I suppose it's different if, say, the person who thinks poorly of you is your mom or a really good friend, and maybe at those times you should take a step back and wonder what you did wrong before brushing them off. But I don't think you were talking about socializing in those regards.

[Wayward Vagabond]

seriously drugs will make you so social

[i heart candy]

Originally Posted by Wayward Vagabond

seriously drugs will make you so social

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

[Pseudo Enigma]

try to make yourself say hi to random people as you pass by them. It helps increase your tolerance to random people.

[j-rodd123]

Just be positive and friendly to people. Get out there and do more things, initiate plans and be proactive. Easier said than done, but you will have much more fulfilling experiences building solid social friendships and consequently your self-esteem will get a nice boost too.

[Emanresu13]

i was gonna quote some people, but there's too much good stuff.

this is oversimplified, but hey: there are three kinds of people
1) those who feel just like you, quite anxious. so busy worrying about themselves, they barely even notice you. don't be intimidated by these people. they are your equals, in the same situation as you.
2) those who are seemingly more comfortable, they hardly feel self-conscious. these are some of the people that do judge you negatively, that may laugh behind your back. don't be intimidated by these people. they are assholes and not worth your time.
3) those who are seemingly more comfortable, they hardly feel self-conscious. these are some of the people that judge you positively. they see you as an equal, a human being. they will respect you unless you give them a reason not to. don't be intimidated by these people. they already like you and will listen to you.

i used the word "seemingly", as many people appear to not be anxious when they really are.


what Aldentron said is a very good point, imo. i've mostly overcome the social anxiety i had when i was younger. accepting being alone has been more difficult.

[Reincarnate]

jesus christ that sig is so totally not SFW

[awein999]

I've had similar problems with this too. What helps me is thinking of a number between 1-100 out of how stressed I am and rationally thinking how stressed I should feel. It sometimes helps me work through initial feelings of irrational social stress.

[UserNameGoesHere]

It works both ways. You also need to be tolerant of other people. Perhaps think about times you may have made other people feel the way you're feeling now and how you could have acted differently. Perhaps consider making friends with people you would not have originally considered. Keep in mind your likes/etc will likely not match 100% with anyone else, and that's okay. Don't just only try to make friends with the "cool" people or really outgoing ones or whatever.

[colt.45]

I don't personally recommend taking any type of Anxiety medication because it just covers up your problems, not fix them. You can do it yourself!

I have had very severe anxiety since April of 2009 when I was 17. It appeared out of nowhere one morning when I woke up. Back then I really didn't understand what the feeling was. Later on, I was diagnosed with GAD, Panic disorder and Social Anxiety. I'm pretty sure these rooted from my past. When I was younger I was physically and mentally bullied for a time period of 8 school years. Girls would punch, kick and bruise me up every week. I would be called a fatass in front of the whole class. I literally had no friends until Sophmore year or when I was 16 because I changed who I was.... to be accepted. I'm very positive this was the trigger in my life. My anxiety was not normal. I sat everyday worrying about everything. I would shake myself to sleep due to panicking. I wouldn't leave the house. I had bad claustrophobia during this time period. Looking up at walls or even the sky I felt trapped.
As of now though, I only get anxiety when I leave my house or am in a huge crowd. I feel very uncomfortable around a larger group of people and I attend a lot of Smash Bros. Tournaments. But I force myself to stay in that position and eventually it will go away and at the end of the day I can say that I accomplished something.

My advice to you though is 1) don't think about it. The more you dwell on those thoughts the more the anxiety will worsen over time. 2) Don't avoid situations. Force yourself to do what makes you uncomfortable. The more you avoid the more challenging the next time will be for you. 3) Change lifestyle habits. Normal sleep schedule, good diet and exercise. 4) Don't give up! and live in the moment not the future. Think positive instead of negative. (Therapy/psychologist could help too). Don't fear the feeling of anxiety.

[Hakulyte]

Don't worry, be happy~

[A2P]

Thank you so much for your input, guys. Every one of these posts are helpful, and a lot of you have so much insight on this same situation I struggle with. It'll take some adjusting, but with time, I'm sure I can relieve this anxiety someday.