Help understanding a dream

[xinpig]

I used to cut to control my issues. What I didnt seem to realize that it wasnt myself that I was hurting the most, it was my girlfriend. It took a few times of my friends urging me to see what pain it was causing her, to be able to get myself to stop my destructive behavior. There has been a few times since then that I have thought about cutting again to get control of myself, but the thought of my dearest always gets me to stop. Now the dream. I always cut many times in the dream, but I dont know what drives me to do this. It hurts like hell then I black out. I "wake up" in the hospital with tubes in my arms and heavy bandages. Now I have come across three endings so far. One involves my friends checking up on me and my girlfriend crying over me and I get better. The next involves her coming in alone and crying and telling me that she warned me what would happen if I did that again and she leaves me. The final one is the worst. I am surrounded by doctors frantically trying to stop the bleeding in my arms and I hear the flatline of the EKG monitor and I wake up gasping for breath. Oh and one other thing, my arms always hurt like hell when I wake up.

[sonic-fast-fingers]

I'm not sure what you want help with...interpreting this dream?

On another note my girlfriend used to cut herself when I first started dating her. I told her to never do it again and if she ever did that I would break up with her. She hasn't cut herself since.

EDIT: Try out a dream dictionary: http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/

[xinpig]

I need help interpreting it.

[dood gone krazee]

Dude go see a psychiatrist.

[gausmaster]

It is a cross roads dream. I assume you dont know what would happen if you relapsed and you put it from your mind, but your mind is completely open in your sleep so you run through senarios in your sleep. I'm no expert though.

[sonic-fast-fingers]

EDIT: All taken from: http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/
Your Own Death:
To dream of your own death, indicates a transitional phase in your life. You are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Alternatively, you are trying desperately to escape the demands of your daily life.

Your girlfriend leaving you in the dream:
To dream of a separation, represents a waking situation or relationship that is breaking apart. You may be experiencing separation anxiety. Alternatively, it indicates that you are feeling torn apart and divided. Your feelings are pulling you in opposite directions.

EDIT 2:
Fainting:
To dream that you are fainting, suggests your inability to confront some unconscious issue or feelings. You need to be more aware and acknowledge of those feelings.

[xinpig]

I have seen a psychiatrist. However I was recommended by my doctor not to say anything to them cause they consider that attempted suicide and WILL lock you up.

[xinpig]

Pretty sure I am addicted to sex too. Cause some dreams I have sometimes....

[gausmaster]

But who isn't addicted to sex?
Its normal to dream of sex.

[xinpig]

And to want it all the time in RL?

[dood gone krazee]

Jesus, where do you live? Why would they put you in prison for saying you are suicidal?

[Rubin0]

I would suggest you go see a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. That way, you won't have to worry about them trying to fix the problem with meds.

[xinpig]

You arent saying you are suicidal thats just how some doctors see it. cutting yourself that is.

[Kekeb]

They're dreams, they don't have to signify anything. It's your mind wandering.

EDIT: Any speculation of dreams is just that, speculation.

[xinpig]

Well sometimes it helps people. I wish they would stop though. Even sleeping by my girlfriend doesnt seem to drive them away.