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I long for so much, i look to the past, i drown in those thoughts, my mind screams for a break, no one hears, its all up to me, ive gotta fix everything, seeing in black and white, looking in the mirror, seeing nothing, my reflection is invinsable, thinking, walking around, feeling like a ghost, its all grey, cloudy, depressing, asking, Why? it just happens, How? What can i do? Why is life like this? I block everything out, thoughts run wild, so many things float in my brain, lifts the covers off, shows the real me
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Suicide drifts upon my mind, i dont want help, i need friends yet they find their way out of my hell hole, im so consumed, dont know whats happening, I hide my fears, my feelings, everything, always drifting in thought, never in the real world, just falling downwards, no one sees past my smiles and laughter, drifting farther away...
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Why is is that everyone can face it, get rid of it, find a new home for it, find a solution, and i cant? Writing doesnt help, talking only helps for a few moments, will the void ever go away? Will it be solved? Will it leave me alone? my thoughts, will they get better or will they tend to get worse?
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Scared
The feeling you get when people stare, call names, the feeling you get when you hear your a freak, scared, the way i feel, scared with a broken heart
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Almost Broken
Another day, another night, i sleep my way, wake up my way, everyday people talk, spread rumors, whisper, wonder whats wrong, my heart cracks within itself, every minute, every second, almost broken my heart awaits
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Nothing
I have no meaning for the word life, i have no purpose in life, i have no goal in life, i have nothing to work towards, I have no rewards waiting for me at the finish line, I have nothing, nothing is what my life desires, nothing is inside me waiting to burst out, nothing is all i am, nothing is all i am worth, nothing
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Dead End
Everywhere i turn, its a dead end, Seeing loved ones go, not knowing why, but knowing that theyre in a better place, knowing where they stand in my life as I go on, as my thoughts are left blank, i stare out into the cold breeze thats whisps againts my face, thinking of my loved ones once more
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Love
Love so powerful can change in ways you've never thought, Love so wonderful, gives you meaning for life, Love so bright, shines, waking you up early in the morning, Love so tender, carresses you, making you safe, Love for Michail, cant be described, changed me in many ways

What would you do if i cut myself in front of you? What would you do if i tried to kill myself and you walked in? What would you do if i was scared to kiss you,let you see the scars of my past? What would you do if you were the only one who could hear my cry for help? What would you do if i hated myself so much i took it all out on you? What would you do if i regretted everything i did? What would you do if i loved you so much i had to leave you? What would you do if i loved you so much i couldn't stop crying? What would you do if i told you i cried myself to sleep every night? What would you do if i was lost and distant? What would you do? This is the real test.