More Bedroom Thoughts by Mal, Page 2

[MalReynolds]

Intimate Bedroom Thought #1:
All the gold diggers that moved out to the west way back all wanted one thing: gold. Several journals have been unearthed stating that when they struck it rich; these miners would "Buy a shovel made of solid gold." I really don't think they knew how easily gold bends, or that a gold shovel wouldn't necessarily help them find more gold. Silly, naive miners.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #2:
One time, I drank so much beer that I began to sweat beer. No, wait, I don't drink beer, I drink bear.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #3:
I think it's time for America to band together for the greater good of getting Adam Corolla off of the television.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #4:
It has to be painful in real life to know someone as witty, charming, and handsome as myself. Physically painful, to the extent that you cry. That is why I don't have very many friends, and they all cry when I'm around.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #5:
A lot of people laughed when I had my hands surgically removed and had disc launchers installed in their place. They weren't laughing after I shot that wall full of discs, scaled the wall and then fired upon the crowd.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #6:
There are times in life when the road in life diverges down many different life paths. When you realize how many times I just used the word "life" in one sentence, you should also realize how good you really have it.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #7:
I ran a mile before I came here. That's a lie... I walked. That's also a lie. I walked to the fridge. And I didn't just do that before I came here... I do that all the time.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #8:
At one point, you have to stop pointing fingers at the killers and start applauding them. Did I say "killers?" I meant, "Kittens." Kittens rarely experience applause, and therefore are more grateful when they receive it.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #9:
I'm a fan of the death penalty, but only the electric chair for one reason: There was a child who was growing up and his greatest wish was to have a job flipping a switch. Go for it, sonny... Your dream job is a reality.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #10:
John Malkovich reminds of Michael Stipes... This isn't good, because John Malkovich doesn't remind me of the front man for REM. He reminds me of a serial murderer.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #11:
If you could have one thing in the world, I bet it would be a stack of quarters that never ran out. Why? Because everyone knows that quarters are the fun money.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #12:
I went to order checks the other day from my bank. The man who helped me reminded me so much of myself that I was really not surprised when I was never billed for the checks and they never came.

Mal

Edit for spelling.

PS: I banged a really hot chick. There? Anyone more happy that this is now about sex?

[whorlichan]

Mal, I realize this is ChitChat and not Critical Thinking, but can we get some spell-check please? If you're gonna be serious about writing you need to worry about that.

Intimate, experience, penalty, Malkovich...some more I'm sure. Again, not a big deal.

And hey, how are any of these intimate bedroom thoughts? I was expecting some awesome sex story. You disappoint me

[MrGiggles]

Intamite Bedroom Thought #4:
It has to be painful in real life to know someone as witty, charming, and handsome as myself. Physically painful, to the extent that you cry. That is why I don't have very many friends, and they all cry when I'm around.

Lol. I like that one.

[Varia]

They are like the Jack Handy things, but only one or two sentences long.

[MalReynolds]

Sorry about the spelling; I typed this list last night when I was really tired into one of these response boxes

Mal

[FishFishRevolution]

Dude, my thoughts always wander in those situations too.

Like a few times I thought of FFR, sometimes I think about my job, sometimes I think about stories to write.

Nothing as well put-together as that Mal, but my inimate bedroom thoughts are pretty off-topic too.

[XXXsmittyXXX]

LOL

[AnarchyKILLZ]

On the bus I always think about things like that too.

Also, when I play video games I tend to wander off and still play the video game.
But I play the Video game perfectly?

Can anyone explain that?>

[esupin]

Originally Posted by MalReynolds

Intimate Bedroom Thought #3:
I think it's time for America to band together for the greater good of getting Adam Corolla off of the television.

And off the radio, too.

[AnarchyKILLZ]

Is he really on the radio now?

[ckj846]

I like how you think Mal... And stop posting so much AnarchyKILLZ, 18 posts in one day and counting... and they were all postwhoring... Anyways, I think most people will come to this thread all horny or something. I was just merely curious.
O_o

[esupin]

Originally Posted by AnarchyKILLZ

Is he really on the radio now?

He is the rear of the two-man horse called Loveline, with Dr. Drew.

[Squeek]

Originally Posted by whorlichan

Mal, I realize this is ChitChat and not Critical Thinking, but can we get some spell-check please? If you're gonna be serious about writing you need to worry about that.

You know, I WAS gonna mention this, but I didn't feel like hurting his feelings. Because a ton of people seem to associate spelling and grammar fixes as insults to their intelligence.

~Squeek

[MalReynolds]

I fixed em'! And I was tired

Mal

[NightSonnett]

Originally Posted by FishFishRevolution

Dude, my thoughts always wander in those situations too.

Like a few times I thought of FFR, sometimes I think about my job, NightSonnett, sometimes I think about stories to write.

fix'd, my dearest.

[MalReynolds]

Intimate Bedroom Thought #13:
Everyone loses a little bit of their childhood when they realize that they cannot unfurl the scroll bar to find a treasure map. Everyone also grows wiser after they disassemble thier monitor to try and find the scroll.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #14:
Crash Banidcoot was Sony's answer to Mario. Sonic the Hedgehog was Sega's answer. Shut up, Coleco. No one cares about you.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #15:
The last time I played tic-tac-toe, I won but lost an eye. That's what you get when you don't carefully read the sign that says "Win this game of tic-tac-toe and I'll take your eye."

Intimate Bedroom Thought #16:
The computer is connected to the intrenet through a tiny cable that carries a massive amount if information. I'm still holding out until babies can be birthed this way before getting pregnant. And also, I'm waiting for men to gain the ability to become pregnant.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #17:
There may be "oodles of noodles" in that packet, but there are never enough.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #18:
I think it's a good idea to drive in the nude, but only if you have a leather interior. This way, your skin will be stuck to the leather. If you need to be cloned, they can just scrape your seat. Problem solved.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #19:
I hear someone once say that "War and Peace" made them want to start a war because it was so long. I stopped them and said, "You clearly did not understand the point of the book." Then I punched him in the stomach and ran away.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #20
If you like stand up comedy, stop and talk to me. I'm not trying to sell anything, I'm just interested in wether or not you like it.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #21:
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers only had one break up. It was after they finished filming "Singin' In The Rain" when Fred ate Ginger.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #22:
My grandfather used to fly kites in the middle of electric storms. I called him crazy. But he had that gleam in his eye that said "I know what I'm doing, Michael." Later that night, he was struck by lightning and killed.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #23:
I don't run my "Air Conditioning Unit" because I enjoy my air just the way it is. You don't need to change for me, baby.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #24:
"a" "a" "a" "a" the drinking bird typed as its nose hit the keyboard.

Intimate Bedroom Thought #25:
I found a penny the other day. It's the little things in life that can bring you so much joy, like hurling it at the young man in the wheelchair.

Mal

[NightSonnett]

We TOTALLY talked about finding pennies on the ground in English the other day. And someone brought up the fact that it's even better when you throw that penny at someone.

Oh, Life.