5 years and my personal struggles

[Shadow_God_10]

Alright. For some of the older members you may know me. as for the newer members... get ready because you'll be seeing A LOT of me.

Where have I been for the last 5 years? Well let's hop in a time machine and travel to 2008. I landed my first girlfriend ever, She was my entire world and we dated for four years. I played FFR rounds every now and then to kill time in classes during high school. September 20th 2012 she and I broke up. She had feelings for another man and chose him over me.

Being the sensitive individual I am.. I was devastated which resulted in me running to alcohol. I was drunk everyday from September 20th to November 4th (that's about 45-60 days if my math is right). I eventually got over it and dated another girl who was very "popular" on instagram which made me think "wait a minute... people know me on the internet...FFR!" so I came back strong until...my laptop decided "OHEY LOL MOTHERBOARD IS DEAD!". the other girl and I broke up this weekend because I was sick and tired of fighting and arguing all the time. I don't need that shit in my life.

Between all of this was my working life. I landed a job as a security guard for a small company doing film productions...shows like Alphas, Lost Girl, Flashpoint, XIII, Warehouse 13, and Transporter. They eventually stopped giving me shifts which again led me to more alcohol consumption out of frustration. As of March 1st I landed a job with a bigger and better company which I've thrived on. I've been labeled employee of the month and it's not even April yet but regardless my alcoholism nullifies my personal accomplishments in my life.

Why am I rambling on about my own life as if people on this forum care? Because it's a community with mature (well....85% of you), honest adults who know about the frustrations of not having work, dealing with first loves and the works.

If any of you have any suggestions or advice per my destructive alcoholism it would be greatly appreciated.

[Wayward Vagabond]

drink less

seriously. now thats not to say dont drink anymore just keep it under control. start waning yourself off of it little by little. or you can just stop cold turkey. it'll suck but you'll come out better in the end.

[Shadow_God_10]

Originally Posted by Wayward Vagabond

drink less

seriously. now thats not to say dont drink anymore just keep it under control. start waning yourself off of it little by little. or you can just stop cold turkey. it'll suck but you'll come out better in the end.

So what you're saying is... let's go by beers because it's simple math. I drink on average about 4-6 beers a night.

now what you're saying is to slowly cut down, say this week it'll be the same. but next week it'll be 3-4?

[Mollocephalus]

I personally think that you can never ever really stop being addicted to something unless you start to see it as the uttermost enemy of your persona, and if you fall for it, you should feel as this is a major failure in your life - something so sickening that you can't help but fight against it and destroy it. Until there's something condescending in you about that addiction, you'll always lose. It's not healthy to enter a mindset of "drinking less" because you would just so easily fall into addiction again if things go wrong (you sound like a really sensitive person). So my advice is, start hating that piece of shit bottle. Start hating it and loving yourself instead. Unless you can't help but hate yourself, i guess. There's a lot of people who are quite masochistic and deeply inside WANT to suffer somehow. If that's the case, that is what you should be fixing first.

[cedolad]

I've been in your boat my friend, although we haven't had the pleasures of meeting one another I'm still glad to share my experiences with you.

Alcohol is very easy to turn to when you're frustrated, I'm sure everyone on this site has turned to the bottle whenever they're down. Now it seems you at least have your feet planted and building up again. Getting another job that you seem to be excelling at is a very good step, the only thing that's preventing you from doing much more is your alcoholism I presume. And you have seem to have complete control over when you can stop and when you can't. Take the rest of your life in accord, you seem to be rather young, and have a strive. Stick to your aspirations, leave yourself notes and try to constantly remind yourself where you want to be when you turn 30 or so. This will help in the sense that when you look at these reminders hopefully you'll look at the glass of scotch or can of beer in your hand and wonder why you're still drinking when you should be doing such and such. Maybe try to organize your life more. Not trying to say you don't to an extent, but maybe instead of trying to quit drinking completely, just cut it out of your normal every day activities and maybe plan an outing with a friend or family member.

Like I've said before I was in the same boat with you. Early my sophomore year of high school I had a lot of depression issues and I was nearly drinking every morning for about a good 5-6 months. Sure my problem still lingers, but I try not to let it affect my work ethics.

Really hope everything works out for you my friend, it's hard to see anyone succumb to alcoholism, but it's heartwarming seeing someone trying to reach out for a hand to grab, best of luck, I'm sure you're more than strong enough to bounce around.

[cedolad]

Originally Posted by Mollocephalus

I personally think that you can never ever really stop being addicted to something unless you start to see it as the uttermost enemy of your persona, and if you fall for it, you should feel as this is a major failure in your life - something so sickening that you can't help but fight against it and destroy it. Until there's something condescending in you about that addiction, you'll always lose. It's not healthy to enter a mindset of "drinking less" because you would just so easily fall into addiction again if things go wrong (you sound like a really sensitive person). So my advice is, start hating that piece of shit bottle. Start hating it and loving yourself instead. Unless you can't help but hate yourself, i guess. There's a lot of people who are quite masochistic and deeply inside WANT to suffer somehow. If that's the case, that is what you should be fixing first.

This is a really harsh to put some of this Moll, but it's true for the most part lol

Hate the bottle, not yourself.

[Wayward Vagabond]

Originally Posted by Shadow_God_10

So what you're saying is... let's go by beers because it's simple math. I drink on average about 4-6 beers a night.

now what you're saying is to slowly cut down, say this week it'll be the same. but next week it'll be 3-4?

more or less yeah but instead of 3-4 go down to 2-3

[Shadow_God_10]

Originally Posted by Mollocephalus

I personally think that you can never ever really stop being addicted to something unless you start to see it as the uttermost enemy of your persona, and if you fall for it, you should feel as this is a major failure in your life - something so sickening that you can't help but fight against it and destroy it. Until there's something condescending in you about that addiction, you'll always lose. It's not healthy to enter a mindset of "drinking less" because you would just so easily fall into addiction again if things go wrong (you sound like a really sensitive person). So my advice is, start hating that piece of shit bottle. Start hating it and loving yourself instead. Unless you can't help but hate yourself, i guess. There's a lot of people who are quite masochistic and deeply inside WANT to suffer somehow. If that's the case, that is what you should be fixing first.

So what you're saying in layman's terms is to hate the bottle I run to, and to love myself and who I am without the bottle?

[cedolad]

Originally Posted by Shadow_God_10

So what you're saying in layman's terms is to hate the bottle I run to, and to love myself and who I am without the bottle?

Exactly that.

[Shadow_God_10]

Originally Posted by cedolad

Exactly that.

gotcha! so more keyboard smashing less bottle drinking

[cedolad]

Doesn't even have to be arrow smashing if you don't want it to be. You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it (Back to the Future ftw).

[Shadow_God_10]

Originally Posted by cedolad

Doesn't even have to be arrow smashing if you don't want it to be. You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it (Back to the Future ftw).

brb hopping in my Delorean! XD

[xNiX]

Most people on ffr have serious issues so you're already on a bad foot by asking for advice here.

[Mollocephalus]

It would make more sense to ask someone who's been there instead of someone who doesn't know what you're talking about.

[Wayward Vagabond]

My advice was the same that other family members of mine used to solve their alcoholism

[Dynam0]

I was pretty stupid with alcohol from when I was 19 until about last year (almost 23). It wasn't so much me drinking small amounts every night as it was going out and getting black-out drunk ~4 times a week. I think most of it was the environment I was in (all my uni friends were drunks too), but on top of that, alcohol turns me into a pretty big idiot so it wasn't good for me either way.

I think for the most part I've just grown up and realized what's more important. Focusing on my relationship with my gf helps a ton especially since she doesn't drink at all. Plus I've been so busy with school I don't really get the chance to go out much. I still can't seem to find my stopping point whenever I drink though and always go over board, so it's still an issue for sure.

You're still young as it is. But as long as you find something to keep you busy and motivated that is more important to you than drinking, you'll be fine

ps. the 'drink less' strategy didn't and doesn't work for me. It works for a little while but eventually I'll have a night where I over-do it and it just escalates again. Works for some but not all.

[FontSize72LOL]

Originally Posted by Shadow_God_10

If any of you have any suggestions or advice per my destructive alcoholism it would be greatly appreciated.

My only advice would be to find something to do in your life that can supplement your time better than drinking. If you had a hobby you can devote your energy into you'd probably feel better.

Originally Posted by Dynam0

I was pretty stupid with alcohol from when I was 19 until about last year (almost 23). It wasn't so much me drinking small amounts every night as it was going out and getting black-out drunk ~4 times a week. I think most of it was the environment I was in (all my uni friends were drunks too), but on top of that, alcohol turns me into a pretty big idiot so it wasn't good for me either way.

I think for the most part I've just grown up and realized what's more important. Focusing on my relationship with my gf helps a ton especially since she doesn't drink at all. Plus I've been so busy with school I don't really get the chance to go out much. I still can't seem to find my stopping point whenever I drink though and always go over board, so it's still an issue for sure.

You're still young as it is. But as long as you find something to keep you busy and motivated that is more important to you than drinking, you'll be fine

ps. the 'drink less' strategy didn't and doesn't work for me. It works for a little while but eventually I'll have a night where I over-do it and it just escalates again. Works for some but not all.

This pretty much mirrors my experience, though instead of 19-23, for me it was 17-20.

[Spenner]

It will be hard to completely escape the alcoholism until you can be mindful of the impulses, take control and moderate your thoughts. Reassociate things that normally would associate with wanting to drink, finding positive reinforcements in things that you would think have none (you can find them).

I guess what I'm saying is that you have to be aware of why you want to drink and finding the motivation to think of something better to substitute. Not with a lot of experience with it, but I hope it works out for you~

Also take into account that the more you drink, the more depressed you're becoming, just by the way the drug works.

[DossarLX ODI]

Originally Posted by Dynam0

find something to keep you busy and motivated.

I really like this advice. I'm basically never bored because of this and I don't have time to be depressed, haha.

[Choofers]

Alcoholism is no joke, I've been able to curb my impulses for the most part, but some days... whew, I binge like crazy. I drank 3 bottles of wine over 4 days a couple weeks ago. Wine hangovers are the worst.


If you have friends that don't drink, hang out with them more often. Even if you're doing something lame.