Mentality

[Teh caged Animal]

Why is it that if you have a good self-esteem, you are considered arrogant, but if you have low self-esteem, you are insecure. Shouldn't there be a middle ground? What is it about someone with high self-esteem that makes us so insecure? Could it be that people who are arrogant actually have low self-esteem.

[windsurfer-sp]

Generalizations between self esteem and arrogance probably won't get you anywhere fast logically.

Could you please simply restate your question or argument if you want this thread to be taken seriously.

[dsliscoo]

I agree with windsurfer.

although, In my mind i have a clear idea in the difference between Good Self Esteem, Arrogance, Cocky, Low Self Esteem, depression. etc. When you meet more people I think you will get a better definition for yourself of what these individual things are.

[prongsie]

Shouldn't there be a middle ground?

I would say that a middle ground would have to be someone that is humble and/or modest. <Same stuff, but yeah. 8)

What is it about someone with high self-esteem that makes us so insecure?

Someone that posses a high self-esteem obviously has confidence in the things they do. They may boast or flaunt their abilities in such an intimidating way that makes you sort of shrink back with a new sense of doubt. In result, you feel withdrawn; you feel like you shouldn't try because maybe you have no chance. Those kind of people do usually get the attention they want which makes it even worse on you. Some people mustn't be affected be this. In my opinion, being insecure cuts back on your full potential. You know those sort of quotes, "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take," and poop like that. xD

Could it be that people who are arrogant actually have low self-esteem.

Yes and no. You know the typical bully, they tend to put down people they consider inferior to them just to feel good about themselves. No, because some people just do highly respect themselves and feel that they are better than everyone. A snob, basically.

[LordTyriel]

Why is it that if you have a good self-esteem, you are considered arrogant, but if you have low self-esteem, you are insecure. Shouldn't there be a middle ground? What is it about someone with high self-esteem that makes us so insecure? Could it be that people who are arrogant actually have low self-esteem.

Since self-Esteem is what the person thinks of themselves you would THINK there is a middle yet there is not. Yes you can TRY to draw a line into a middle yet what scientists know and have found out about our bodies and minds and brains just isn't enough to understand nor comprehend what kinds of self-esteem levels there are.

Another thing, there are only 2 self-esteems there is no third because we either have a low self-esteem or we have a high self-esteem. Like right now I feel like I have a high self-esteem it just depends on how people act..... People....

Although that is merely my thoughts of this matter.

-Lord Tyriel-

[devonin]

I disagree completely. There is absolutely a middle-ground between a 'high' sense of self-esteem (IE. You esteem yourself very highly) and a 'low' sense of self-esteem (IE. You esteem yourself very lowly) All kinds of people, I would go so far as to say the majority of people, have a perfectly reasonable and realistic opinion of themselves. They know they have some fine qualities, they know they have some poor qualities, and understand the problems inherant in trying to compare one's "quality" to someone else's.

Those people have, as opposed to high or low, GOOD self-esteem.

[LordTyriel]

Originally Posted by devonin

I disagree completely. There is absolutely a middle-ground between a 'high' sense of self-esteem (IE. You esteem yourself very highly) and a 'low' sense of self-esteem (IE. You esteem yourself very lowly) All kinds of people, I would go so far as to say the majority of people, have a perfectly reasonable and realistic opinion of themselves. They know they have some fine qualities, they know they have some poor qualities, and understand the problems inherant in trying to compare one's "quality" to someone else's.

Those people have, as opposed to high or low, GOOD self-esteem.

That's still considered high self-esteem because the person knows his/her flaws and wants to make it better making the person feel good because their going to change. You see this is life my friend we can't just ask ourselves what good and bad its thinking outside the box knowing more and opening yourself up to every possible probability. In my case low and high self esteem are the only ones left for us. The middle one is for your own mind to choose, after all everything we do our brains have to go through it first.

[devonin]

So what you're saying is that because you personally don't believe there's such a thing, it simply doesn't exist?

[foilman8805]

Guys, I don't believe in gravity.

[LordTyriel]

Indeed, the same with believing if a religion is real or if the world is round they all have reasons as to WHY and HOW. Someone can't tell me "Oh theirs something over there that's super cool!" and then its some sort of person doing a jig, people have there ideals although on this one I believe its the matter of the mind and what the person believes. Since its self-esteem its not someone else's thoughts that matter only that persons, in saying that I mean that this answer for this thread is a 2-way answer. Interesting...

-Lord Tyriel-

[StyleKrong]

Arrogance and insecurity are just words used to express a public judgment upon someone else, usually in a negative manner...

...the "happy in between" is ignoring the judgments of others and being happy with who you are.

[Seefu Sefirosu]

Originally Posted by devonin

So what you're saying is that because you personally don't believe there's such a thing, it simply doesn't exist?

Originally Posted by LordTyriel

Indeed, the same with believing if a religion is real or if the world is round they all have reasons as to WHY and HOW. Someone can't tell me "Oh theirs something over there that's super cool!" and then its some sort of person doing a jig, people have there ideals although on this one I believe its the matter of the mind and what the person believes. Since its self-esteem its not someone else's thoughts that matter only that persons, in saying that I mean that this answer for this thread is a 2-way answer. Interesting...

-Lord Tyriel-

So... wait a sec: This means that since my mother is an Episcopalian and doesn't believe in abortion, Episcopalianism is now Christianity, no other religions exist, and abortions no longer happen.

Yet, I'm a Buddhist... so that means abortions still happen, and Buddhism is the only religion...

What the **** is this, Tyriel, real-life applications of Schrödinger's cat?

While I understand that not everything is black or white, that doesn't mean that every shade of gray is acceptable.

[Cavernio]

You could call people using quantum mechanics in things like computing applications of schrodinger's cat.

[LordTyriel]

So... wait a sec: This means that since my mother is an Episcopalian and doesn't believe in abortion, Episcopalianism is now Christianity, no other religions exist, and abortions no longer happen.

No... I said because the person themselves don't care about the people around them and only about themselves. Obviously you received the wrong thoughts then what I was saying.

Yet, I'm a Buddhist... so that means abortions still happen, and Buddhism is the only religion...

Indeed thats correct actually, some people believe such things (poor human) heck some people still believe the earth is square yet its round.. Its human bliss I tell you.

What the **** is this, Tyriel, real-life applications of Schrödinger's cat?

Dunno what that is... *Googles it*.

While I understand that not everything is black or white, that doesn't mean that every shade of gray is acceptable.

I do agree with you on that although I merely take what I have learned and seen and integrate it into what I am saying now because all these things I have said are true facts and some people don't give 2 ****s about other people neither do people who have low self esteem or (sometimes) high self esteem because either there so into there lives that they could care less about the outside world or there to sad about their lives that they commit suicide or if there lucky cut themselves. But hey I am only here to tell you guys what I know myself, take it as is.

[devonin]

As an aside, I counted a full baker's dozen grammatical or spelling errors in your reponse. Going forward can we all try to make an effort to obey the rules of the forum and maintain a reasonable standard of english use?

[rqm]

i think youre just insecure.

seriously though, there is a middle ground. not everyone with "high" self-esteem is deemed arrogant by their peers. i feel pretty comfortable with myself and yet i dont go around tooting my horn about how amazing a guy i am, looking down on others who are less fortunate than i (aka everyone), or doing anything that would lead others to find me arrogant.

ps what devonin said

[Cavernio]

Firstly, I'm annoyed at the people who say that people with depression have low self-esteem. Having been a teenager at a junior high, I certainly understand how having low self-esteem makes you unhappy. But as being someone who experiences depression which is totally different from whatever unhappiness I had in grade 8, my self-esteem is really not a factor. It can be high or it can be low, but either way, it has little bearing over whether I'm happy and motivated or not.
Secondly, to the person who said that happiness is being happy with who you are and not caring about what others think, that's a very juvenile mindset. If you didn't care what anyone thought of you, you'd have no friends because you'd be the biggest dick ever, and having no friends usually makes people unhappy. Even someone who's power hungry and who would do anything to get what they want, they want power over something or someone, and that relates to how other people think of you and how they treat you. You probably care what you parents think of you, what your friends think of you, and probably especially what your love interest thinks of you. And that's a good thing.

[Seefu Sefirosu]

Originally Posted by LordTyriel

No... I said because the person themselves don't care about the people around them and only about themselves. Obviously you received the wrong thoughts then what I was saying.

Indeed thats correct actually, some people believe such things (poor human) heck some people still believe the earth is square yet its round.. Its human bliss I tell you.

Dunno what that is... *Googles it*.

I do agree with you on that although I merely take what I have learned and seen and integrate it into what I am saying now because all these things I have said are true facts and some people don't give 2 ****s about other people neither do people who have low self esteem or (sometimes) high self esteem because either there so into there lives that they could care less about the outside world or there to sad about their lives that they commit suicide or if there lucky cut themselves. But hey I am only here to tell you guys what I know myself, take it as is.

That entire post is a waste of energy to try to read, because at the end of the day, your answer to devonin's question was "Indeed."

Just in case you don't know what that means, that's like saying "Yes!!"

With both exclamations.

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Now playing: Breaking Benjamin - Shallow Bay

[devonin]

Your post said less of use than his did. Pot meet kettle. How about you just review the rules for this forum instead of trying to moderate it for me.

[Dorby]

Someone who has low self esteem generally thinks less of themselves, dosen't believe people when they complement their traits, and is somewhat anti-social because they believe their opinion does not matter.

You can basically flip everything around to describe a person with high self esteem ; thinks highly of themselves, over boasts about when complemented, and believes they are always right.

So in order for a middle ground to be achieved, I believe one has to experience both faults (I call them faults because you shouldn't live one way or the other, you should have a balanced perspective) in order to understand what is wrong with the way they perceive things. Some people will learn early in life, others will always be the same.

I personally think having a low self esteem is worse, rather than a high one, because you are basically putting yourself and your life on hold simply based on your insecurities. So for anyone out there holding back, just let go. Be yourself and not everyone is going to like that. You will find people though, trust me.