Mystery Story.

[Cold Kitten]

So, I'm having to write a mystery for my Creative Writing class at school. I would love it if you all could give me your opinions on what I have of it so far.



http://quizilla.teennick.com/stories/15701673/mystery

There's the link. Thanks in advance. [:

I'll also post here for those of you too lazy to click a link. xD


-Knock Knock- Ryce sighed as he was knocking at the door of these people’s house. He really didn’t want to be here, but he was on duty, and they had a huge case on their hands. A young girl had just gone missing, and they had no leads as to where she might be, or even if she was alive or not. The PD was making all their officers go around town and try to get some leads.
The woman at the house opened the door, and Ryce began asking his standard questions. He faltered a bit when he saw her face. It was quite puffy, and it looked like she had been crying recently.
“Ma’am, are you alright?” asked Ryce tentatively.
The woman opened the door all the way and look straight into the officer’s eyes. “Would you be alright if your daughter had gone missing and they had no clue where she was, or even if she was alive?”
“Well, no. I assume I wouldn’t be. I’m very sorry. I didn’t know it was your daughter. I’m just on a routine run of the city, asking if anyone has any leads.”
“Thank you for being so considerate. Please come back and tell me if you find anything out,” said the woman.
“Of course. And may I ask your name so that it will be easier to contact you with information?”
“Oh, right. Yes. Here.” She began to write down her name, which happened to be Melissa, phone number and gave it to the officer.
“Thank you, ma’am. I will let you know if anything new comes up.” Ryce smiled at her consolingly and left her house. He suddenly felt a lot more like dealing with this case. He began walking off to finish the rest of this neighborhood.
After he finished asking around that neighborhood, Ryce went back to the office to tell his boss that he had found out nothing new, except that the girl’s mother lived in the neighborhood he went to today.
When he reached the office, Ryce saw Melissa in front of the department. He went up to so he could see why she was here.
“Hello again. Why are you here?”
She started crying again. “They found her. She’s dead. I don’t know what I’m going to do…”
“It’s okay. Calm down. We can get through this,” said Ryce considerately.
“I hope so…” said Melissa with a sniffle.
Ryce was driving down to the ditch where they found Melissa’s daughter.

[AssNinja4759]

... It's good. Could add more to it. I want to see more. Also, You were awesome... then you came back. Kbye.

[dore]

If the police are looking for a missing girl, then they will know who the mother is and will probably have her in custody just in case she is involved.