Are internet friends more permanent than friends by proximity?

[Arch0wl]

I had some really close friends in college, but we rarely talk anymore because everyone split after college. I still talk to a few people I knew from college over facebook -- but there's only a handful of those. People from high school are long gone.

Yet, I still talk to some people from this forum on facebook and I have since I was 13, before facebook existed. I'd imagine that I'll continue to talk to those people indefinitely, since wherever I move in the world won't be a boundary.

I'm personally about to make a big move across the country. I don't know how long I'll be there. Five years? Maybe longer, depending?

And if I move, the friends I had there due to geographic proximity are gone too.

Now that I've had pretty much all my friends split from me (either by my own doing or by theirs) about 4-5 times in my life, I rarely feel that friendship is a permanent thing. In a weird way, the people I talk to from the internet are the few people who I can say I won't ever stop knowing.

Does anyone else feel this way? Or if you feel opposite, why?

[psychoangel691]

I have very few IRL friends at this point from moving around all the time. I'd definitely say I have more people from FFR that I still talk to frequently than people that I used to know in person from say school. I think it's likely I'll keep in touch with a lot of these people for years to come as well.
I think it's just easier because it really doesn't matter where you are, you still have the same interests with the people you met online in places like this one. Whereas someone you were close to IRL might not be as into the internet scene or not as into the same interests on the internet as you are. Leaving less to keep you connected from a distance.

[Wayward Vagabond]

The only friends I need are Benjamin, Mary, smith and wesson.

[DaBackpack]

Anecdote: I had some really good friends on this MMO I played. I talked to them roughly every day for 8 years. I haven't talked to any of them since I quit 2 years ago. And I think it might have been awkward if we had continued correspondence: all we had in common was this game.

I think having Facebook friends will increase your friendship longevity, but once FFR goes down, will you still have things to talk about? Can you talk about other things like sports, or TV? And will you be able to do things together?

In short, when it comes to your internet friends, your change in geographical location probably won't affect your relationships. But those relationships are still subject to the passing of time.

[hi19hi19]

Some of the people I've met through this site, I would like to stay in contact with. And I think we have enough common ground beyond FFR that it would be easy to do so if the site were to go down.

Many of my friends I've made through MMOs or other games, however, I didn't stay in contact with.
It all depends on if you have common ground beyond the game/community that you met in. If, outside of that context, you still have lots to talk about, the friendship is possibly more permanent than real life ones.

[Mollocephalus]

To be honest, friendship usually keeps going as long as there are common grounds and things to be done together. If you met someone online in the first place it makes sense that the friendship itself develops over online stuff, even after you meet irl- however, with people met irl the transition to online can not work, because it wouldn't be the same of actually hanging out with that person and that's what probably made you friends in the first place: physically hanging out together.

There are of course exceptions. There's people who i haven't seen in years and then decide to give a call and see how they are doing, sometimes even plan a little meet up. But i've noticed how generally i lose my acquaintances as long as there aren't any more common activities or reasons to frequent each other.

[awein999]

Proximity friends are limited in that you are typically meeting a small sample size of pseudo-random people. Internet friends can be found anywhere in the world as long as you both have a working internet connection. It is likely that friends you make on the internet are people that clicked on the same sites you did and by that virtue alone you are much more likely to develop deeper connections with those people. In other words the internet is a tool where it's absurdly easier to find the people you want as compared to real life proximity.

[kmay]

i'd say anyone that you meet at a place like this can be a great friend. as long as you are playing the game. i've had tons of close friends from here fall by the way side because they stop playing =/

[Rapta]

I've known 4 people on the internet longer than anyone irl. Funny is one of them. #Proof #FunnyIsGril

[kommisar]

online friends you don't hang around in person often so less likely to develop dislike for them, usually lasts longer

[iCeCuBEz v2]

Originally Posted by Wayward Vagabond

The only friends I need are Benjamin, Mary, smith and wesson.

lol

[Mahou]

Internet or real...your friends will constantly change. Your best friends will usually stick around unless something bad happens.

[Hakulyte]

We're forgetting one variable here, the IRL friend who's also on Internet. (!)

I don't think there's such a thing as permanence in all 3 cases. It's all about how long we share similar interests and decide to do things together whether it's IRL or Internet.

Actually, even interests is not really accurate, you could work and see the same co-workers all years and don't particularly have anything in common but ends up being together all the time. It's more about how your personal goals align with others.

TLDR; No, the answer completely depends on you.

[drizzleRomanceGirl]

In my case, many of the people I used to chat with online have stopped talking to me either completely or only say a few words every few months after about one-two years. However, my friends who I met in person still call and meet me once in awhile even though we don't attend the same college.

I think relationships made in person are much stronger and have the potential of lasting longer because you build a physical, emotional, and social connection, whereas internet relationships aren't as intimate and don't depend on compromise or understanding.

[dashoe93]

Friends online or offline are never permanent for me. They come and go. Sometimes I try to keep them around for longer, but there's not much I can do about that. They could come back on occasion.

[Wayward Vagabond]

Originally Posted by drizzleRomanceGirl

In my case, many of the people I used to chat with online have stopped talking to me either completely or only say a few words every few months after about one-two years. However, my friends who I met in person still call and meet me once in awhile even though we don't attend the same college.

I think relationships made in person are much stronger and have the potential of lasting longer because you build a physical, emotional, and social connection, whereas internet relationships aren't as intimate and don't depend on compromise or understanding.

I feel like you can have just as intimate, emotional, and physical relationships with friends online if you put the effort into it the same way youd have to put the effort into an irl friendship. some of my closest friends are friends that i met online.

[drizzleRomanceGirl]

One thing I forgot to mention is that even though friendships created in person are generally more intimate, I believe they take a lot more work to maintain, especially when you're having a hard time dealing with issues in your life or have less free time.

[Wayward Vagabond]

i can agree with that

[master q60]

Considering I used to be anti-social as all hell, internet friends actually helped me be more open about my life as we don't actually know each other. I now have 4 internet friends, met through left 4 dead, and have everyones number, Facebook, etc. The nice thing is that no one knows ANYTHING about their family, just them, but yet you can still talk about personal things since it will be just about them and not their sister doing some stupid bullshit.

Other downside though, is that I am the only one who upgraded to an Xbox One so if they want to play, I have to switch consoles. The worst is that I have literally gone through about 6 friend groups within Left 4 Dead, all of which have long been gone. Only these four are the ones I can still play with and not remember what stupid ass drama they brought to the group from dating within the group, to being found out to be a total asshole from extended gameplay with them.

Internet friends are to talk about you and them, IRL friends are for everything else

[Funnygurl555]

Originally Posted by Rapta

I've known 4 people on the internet longer than anyone irl. Funny is one of them. #Proof #FunnyIsGril

hoooooly crap this is going into my sig lmao the hashtags

Okay but for a serious answer to this-- I kinda agree with a point stated in this thread: you stay friends with people in general as long as you maintain some common ground with them. With IRL friends proximity is a major factor. With the Internet it's the activities you do together and the methods of communication used.

Unless you develop a really close bond with someone, you and your friends are going to change to the point that the common ground is diminished. That's why most friendships are transient, and only very close friendships-- both online and real life-- are the ones that stay with you.

Personal anecdote time-- I don't really talk to anyone from where I grew up anymore, and most people that I've met online in my five-ish(?) years on the Internet have moved on already. I guess I kinda got used to this so I'm not bothered by it anymore. There's always new people to meet \o