A poem(s)to die for.

[jono2007]

By Jbaz.(Not written by me, but edited by me)
Note that every 9 has something to do with the previous nine. like-9, 18, 28, you'll see.

1. "When the tupelo
Goes pupelo
I'll be coming back
For Yupelo."

2. This moderator in the
Art section
told me my stuff sucked
well, years later
I became an admin
and stuck a boot up his ass

3. Jesus Christ wasn't black
Nor was he hispanic
But when he spoke to me once
And said
"CCC lied; they do put a
nail in your crotch!"
He sounded like
Chistopher Walken.

4. After my computer crashed
I went to geek squad.
Apparently I had used
too much space but
they thought it was hentai
when it was really yaoi

5. This dude in my class
said he got a blowjob
at summercamp
he lied.
I was there
I saw that motherly
tummy rub.

6. When the burglar
Takes the
Pop -Tart
Thats when
You know its time
To get the fish
However
I'm forgetting
that I ate
the tilapia
at Sunday
Brunch.

7. Living isn't a large crock of sh*t;
It's only when you start losing
your wang hang
that you start to
Cheat on the wife
but actually
After the third
full dose
of viagra
you give up

8. I used to love this girl
And her boyfriend had
a stomachache
so I put my arm
around her soldier
and she turned to
kiss me
and then I woke up
and saw not only
morning wood
but that definitely
wasn't
the milk I spilled
yesterday.

9. Sh*t happens.

10. Always believe in
God
Becuase when you die
You not only lose
your sense of
grammar
but you lose
your bowels.

11. Since I bought
The car
In '92
It's made this
Grinding noise
I now realize
That the Iranian
put lettuce
instead of gas
In the tank

12. I went to
Catholic School
to pick up chicks
but then again
It's an all boys school.

13. Ordered Hitler to
use an army of
meese, instead of
Germans
Look where it got
him.

14. Un Chien Andalou
Is not surrealist
Because when it says
8 hours later
You here Bunneul say
'F*cking cut!'
In french.

15. During the
Civil War
We smoked maple
But after our last
tree was burned down]
Lincoln and the guys started
smoking grass.

16. Calculus sucks cause
When Mrs. W says
plug in the numbers
I imagine her plugging
something else.

17. Harry potter is a wimp.
Id've used the engorgment charm
on my dick.

18.When it happens,
step to the left.

19. I read Battle Royale
Yesterday,
Then I saw the movie
Takami should've given
the kids laser guns.

20. They say that
pencil twirling
is for nerds
I saw that dude
who said he got
a blowjob
Practicing the sonic
at study hall
Facking nerd.

[Zythus]

LMFAO. Epic.

Sorry, I just can't be more helpful and descriptive that that.

[jono2007]

Originally Posted by Zythus

LMFAO. Epic.

Sorry, I just can't be more helpful and descriptive that that.

Those are ths first 10 of the impressionist 'poems' that my friend L aka JBaz wrote and put together. There are 66 in all. I don't know why 66, but I'll be editing this and putting it all in by increments of ten.

[jono2007]

Any Comments?

[Zythus]

Well, serious feedback here, too put it bluntly....I can't consider them poems.
I'm not trying to me mean, but yeah, a very abstruse topic(s) you are talking about.

Just an advice, write about more serious and potentially appropriate stuff.

[jono2007]

Originally Posted by Zythus

Well, serious feedback here, too put it bluntly....I can't consider them poems.
I'm not trying to me mean, but yeah, a very abstruse topic(s) you are talking about.

Just an advice, write about more serious and potentially appropriate stuff.

These aren't supposed to be real poems, and abtruse is not a word. Obtuse is what you're looking for. This was a joke because my friend got tired of so many love poems and sh*t, so he made this. It's like comedic art. Deal with it. And like I said, I didn't f*cking write this, that friend did, scrapbooked it, here it is.

[Zythus]

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/abstruse
Sir, I beg you pardon?

It would seem to me that this was a joke, but hey, I already give a joke advice.

[ischooltennyson]

Pretty funny

[jono2007]

Originally Posted by ischooltennyson

Pretty funny

Son your avatar is offending.

[iPatcH]

sucks harder than a dick trapped in a pipe, eaten by an alligator in the middle of the night