What defines you?

[hoochan]

If this thread is going in the direction of "what are you really inside", then I think I understand it.

People speak and communicate with you and you see this and make presumptions. Is this, however, how they really want to speak to you?

If you ever meet me in person, I come off as an outgoing, extroverted guy that likes to laugh and find enjoyment while not taking many things seriously.

When I go home, however, I am EXTREMELY introverted. I deeply involve myself in thinking. One of my -hopeful- studies that I will take in college will be Philosophy. The one thing that absolutely fascinates me is the thinking process of people and how they solved a problem that was given to them. With everything that I do, I always find a way to see it in another person's view point. I see it and understand it. But what now? I feel that by doing this, I gain a high level of understanding from not just how people tick, but from life itself.

I have no idea what I just tried to contribute to this thread but w/e. Now you all know more a little about hoochan, I guess.

[tha Guardians]

Originally Posted by hoochan

If this thread is going in the direction of "what are you really inside", then I think I understand it.

People speak and communicate with you and you see this and make presumptions. Is this, however, how they really want to speak to you?

If you ever meet me in person, I come off as an outgoing, extroverted guy that likes to laugh and find enjoyment while not taking many things seriously.

When I go home, however, I am EXTREMELY introverted. I deeply involve myself in thinking. One of my -hopeful- studies that I will take in college will be Philosophy. The one thing that absolutely fascinates me is the thinking process of people and how they solved a problem that was given to them. With everything that I do, I always find a way to see it in another person's view point. I see it and understand it. But what now? I feel that by doing this, I gain a high level of understanding from not just how people tick, but from life itself.

I have no idea what I just tried to contribute to this thread but w/e. Now you all know more a little about hoochan, I guess.

It makes sense.
Both the part of you that you show to others, and the part of you you keep to yourself define you.

[Bricktastic]

Originally Posted by Cavernio

Ok, so I truly am asking a question with this, however, I do wish to discuss the issue with a critical mind, so I'm posting it here. I'm also going to get the ball rolling.

I've talked to someone who's said that what they do for their job doesn't define who they are, and they generalize this to everyone. I partially disagree with this, because how can something which takes up 40 hrs a week (talking about full-time here), not have some sort of part in defining who you are?

If work doesn't define you, what does? Do thoughts define us, or do our actions? Or something else?

I know that I exist outside how I affect other people, but to me, none of that matters if I don't affect other people in some way. There seems to be a fundamental human quality in myself that makes me want to affect other people, and in a way which makes them think highly of me. But, as the title suggests, it's more than just wanting attention; it's necessary for defining myself. If I don't affect anyone, I might as well not matter. My thoughts matter only if they're shared. Is this how you think too?

Getting back to the work issue, upon knowing my stand on this, if I spend a majority of the time working, then it's impossible for this to not define part of who I am, seeing as work in a capitalist society is defined by someone paying you for it, and ergo at a minimum, you affect the person who's paying you.

Since when does where you work define you? I have no job, does that mean I can't be defined? We sleep about 40 hours a week or more, does that mean we define our self when we are asleep? Some of you might think so because we do dream in our sleep. Those of us who remember our dreams and think about them deeply know, it's more than gibber-jabber. My dreams symbolize so many things in my life. Sometimes it takes a dream to realize something.

As for defining our self, how can one define themselves when we have so many answers? I could define myself with a color, with a number, a person, a sentence, a paragraph and I bet a book. It's not a one answer type of thing. It's pretty much impossible to define yourself if you really think about it. Your brain is in control of your entire self. So I guess you can define yourself with your brain? Do you know how long that would take? Your brain in it's entirety would be the only logic and definite way to actually truly define yourself. Or you could just say. "Hi, this is my name. Nice to meet you!".

[faynt]

Whatever underlying factor within myself that ultimately governs my perception of, and response to, the exterior world is what makes me different from everyone else. I am defined by how I react to external stimuli. We all are.

However, I suppose this is a rather broad reply to a question asking something more specific. To define is to give meaning, therefore the specifics of "what defines me" would consist of analyzing and applying specific traits/characteristics to the nature of the relationship between "I" and the world.

My motivation for living, and thus the actions I make in accordance to this motivation, is what defines me.

[Kilroy_x]

My actions. I hope. I would much rather be known for doing things than be known for being things.


I said that to a Psychologist once and they took it as a sign I was crazy, somehow.

[Cavernio]

I feel I should be defined for my actions. However, at least currently, my actions are largely unimportant and influence just about no one. And the influence they do often have seems to be negative.
In order for me to be satisfied with my actions as defining me, I think I would need to do something extraordinary, like curing cancer.
I find it very hard to push myself out of my comfort zone though, and that comfort zone is very small, and I'm not working towards anything of ANY consequence at the moment. Clearly this is not making me feel very happy, so I have 2 options that I see. 1) Work towards a laudible goal. 2) Become happy with being instead of doing. I suppose I'm leaning towards the 2nd one, and so I'm trying to understand how other people who define themselves as being, well, do it. I'm too lazy to accomplish the first thing, imo, and this upsets me even more though.

What I'm actually doing is working towards small goals, and trying to be happy with just being atm. We'll see if it works.

You can NEVER been known for 'being' anything, because as soon as you are known, it is for what others see of you, and I'd define that as having to be action/(inaction). You are only known to yourself as 'being' anything. Or to God if you believe, or a collective unconcious, or aliens, if that's what you believe.
People think I'm crazy for wanting to be able to read minds, however, if we were able to do that, then we could be known for our thoughts, and I likely wouldn't have a problem! (Of course, that might make art obsolete, and that would suck.) I suppose through speaking/writing I can share my thoughts, and even better than the mumble that they are in my head actually. That's why I like posting here!

Sorry, this entire thread wasn't really CT (as defined here), but thank you for not closing it.

[Zageron]

I'm going to be a little self centred to explain my view on 'the definition of one's self'.

I'll make this short and sweet.
I'm a guy, I'm average hight (5"10'), I have brown/red hair and brown eyes, I'm white.
Now what would you define this person as? You can't, because you don't have a visual of their face. Now I can't describe my features, because I was never good at that, but do I really need to? How can you define someone by how they look? I'm positive I know at least 5 big mean looking guys that are the nicest people in the world!

Alright, so what about actions?
I swear but not at others, I don't give people the 'middle finger', I roll my eyes a very frequently, I hang around a few of the 'cool kids' but only when they aren't around the 'ass hole cool kids', I use computers way to much, I'm the smartest in my school with computers, I'm very gentle (and it's annoying as hell but I'm also emotional -_-), I play the piano and the saxophone as well I'm a natural at music.

Now, how would you label that?
I, personally, would call myself: a laid back teen who hangs around the people he likes while completely shunning anyone he doesn't like (or causes him problems). He shares his knowledge and tries his hardest not to gloat or brag about it (sometimes fails). I could go on. But generally speaking it would be a 'good, polite boy'.

But as said before in the thread, you can't vouch for yourself. Now I KNOW what I'm actually like, no matter what I think I should be like. My sense of humour is awesome (IRL not TGB), and if I'm the slightest big hyper (oh god if I was drunk) I tend to over exaggerate or say very stupid things. Now usually I'm good about it. But sometimes I'll say something totally random and unoffensive and someone will get 'holy ****' offended. Only afterwards when I really think about what I said, in that situation to that person, do I realize it was offensives. To many I also come across as rude and offencive, obnoxious even. Where I thought I was innocent and polite, and actually an annoying bastard?

Sure, why not?

[Zythus]

You may define yourself as anything you wish. Others validate your definitions before you can wear it on your shirt.

The question here isn't who or what defines you, it is to what degree of significance the definition matters to yourself and observers.

[N.T.M.]

Originally Posted by Cavernio

Ok, so I truly am asking a question with this, however, I do wish to discuss the issue with a critical mind, so I'm posting it here. I'm also going to get the ball rolling.

I've talked to someone who's said that what they do for their job doesn't define who they are, and they generalize this to everyone. I partially disagree with this, because how can something which takes up 40 hrs a week (talking about full-time here), not have some sort of part in defining who you are?

If work doesn't define you, what does? Do thoughts define us, or do our actions? Or something else?

I know that I exist outside how I affect other people, but to me, none of that matters if I don't affect other people in some way. There seems to be a fundamental human quality in myself that makes me want to affect other people, and in a way which makes them think highly of me. But, as the title suggests, it's more than just wanting attention; it's necessary for defining myself. If I don't affect anyone, I might as well not matter. My thoughts matter only if they're shared. Is this how you think too?

Getting back to the work issue, upon knowing my stand on this, if I spend a majority of the time working, then it's impossible for this to not define part of who I am, seeing as work in a capitalist society is defined by someone paying you for it, and ergo at a minimum, you affect the person who's paying you.

Unless a profession is actually in a field that follows one's passion or just general interest, I wouldn't say it'd define them as a person. It's simply a chore they're obligated to invest a lot of time in to make a living. Often this has nothing to do with personal interest.

Take myself for example. I work at a grocery story. I whole-heartedly despise it, but I continue to work there (for now) because I have to. No part of the environment accurately reflects me at all.

Your opinion reminds me of a friend. He said "People's lives only have value if they're valued by others."

[Vendetta21]

This is less about what defines you as how we determine a definition, and what types of definition are relevant to a particular situation.

Something latent in the first post is a bit of "how do I define myself" which is a bit of "if I were to tell a complete stranger about me and try to make them understand what would I say." Like people do on dating sites. That's an example of the self-definition thing that the anecdote was talking about in the OP.

Then there's an extra layer to that that critical thinkers can have, and that is questioning the validity of the subjective value of that self-definition because that self-definition is possibly about how others view you, and if it is, it may be flawed compared to how others actually view you, with a bias in favor or against the self pending on self-esteem.

And then there's an entirely personal definition which has to do entirely with how you define yourself all by yourself. How you feel, regardless of others, about yourself?

Then there is the more objective route, and that is defining you as literally as possible. Of course these literal definitions won't be completely literal because of flaws in our semantic reasoning process that don't allow for 100% literalness and so this definition will have a subjective value as well.

And keep in mind that it will probably be a collective of all of these if any of us were to go the broad route and just "define ourselves" without any sort of specification as to how.

What's pretty much going to be the entire discussion here is ontology distinctions in relation to a personal identity, and what I mean by that is that it has less to do with any sort of objective standard, and entirely has to do with how each of us thinks about the world that we will answer that question.

[Clarissa_Rainbow]

Well, nowadays people define us just by looking at us and seeing how we look. People define us by looking at where we work. People define us by our grades. People define us by our money status. What kind of music we listen to. People define us by our parents actions. People define us by one little mistake... It's wrong, yes, but it's what happens. How they define you should not matter, but it does. It's sad...

[DossarLX ODI]

What I find pathetic is the shooting that happened at columbine High School in 1999. I mean, I can understand that Eric and Dylan were angered by the actions of several students in the school, but going into a shooting was just unnecessary. Clarissa, I do have do agree with your statement that nowadays people define others by appearance and the first time.

http://www.rachelschallenge.com/Lear...1/Default.aspx

In Rachel's essay, she states that you should not just look at someone's appearance, but also look at that particular person's personal life. Was that person abused in his or her childhood? Is he or she just having a bad day? Many people judge by the first few encounters, but the majority of them usually don't really know the other person's past at all. Honesty can also be a big factor when you're trying to tell someone you know about any type of events going on. Do you know your friends well enough that they can be trusted? Are your friends going to guarantee they won't share this information to the public (rumors)? These types of things can cause lots of stress, which Eric and Dylan were undergoing so they decided to fight back at the school, but in a very violent way that wasn't exactly the best solution. But, Rachel's challenge has been spreading through schools, and I hope it is successful in lightening up some "bad" students. "No one knows how far a little kindness can go," Rachel said. It's really nice to see all the well-mannered students in the high school I go too.

Although, it's also good to see some variety in personality, just not in extreme cases.

[Dave&Wave]

People define me by what they think .

[Bojack2424]

Originally Posted by Clarissa_Rainbow

Well, nowadays people define us just by looking at us and seeing how we look. People define us by looking at where we work. People define us by our grades. People define us by our money status. What kind of music we listen to. People define us by our parents actions. People define us by one little mistake... It's wrong, yes, but it's what happens. How they define you should not matter, but it does. It's sad...

i believe in that to the core.

[awein999]

what truly defines a person is the decisions one makes without the outside influence of others. Intrinsic values. There is a difference between how you define yourself and how society defines you. Society is like high school, lots of peer pressure, back stabbing, grades (labeling). It's all fake and self centered. Although society could label you as "a bad person", or a "failure" it is possible that most individual people actually think very highly of you because you are a nice, caring, sensitive individual.

What matters is doing what you believe is the best thing to do without letting others corrupt your thoughts. Just imagine you are by yourself as a conflict arises. What would you do without any outside influence? That is how you figure out who you are and that defines your values and your character.

[Dave&Wave]

Everyone needs constuctive criticism somewhere in there life . Everyone is confronted on something . So it is good to take advice from others , but it matters who's defining you . Is it the pastor or your parents , or maybe the school bully ? Or is it the gang roming the streets , or just ongoing strangers . Or the society (as mentioned before) , or just relatives .

[devonin]

I'll be constructive, you should really stop putting an extraneous space before every punctuation mark. It's syntactically incorrect and makes your text more difficult to parse naturally.