Premaritial Sex

[devonin]

Originally Posted by GuidoHunter

Who unwittingly engages in abstinence? It's a choice to develop a greater appreciation for sex with your spouse.

Unwittingly? Perhaps you mean Unwillingly? And I've met plenty of people who were guilted by their church/parents/etc into making such a pledge, and later being torn between not wanting to do so, and breaking a promise made to people who are important to them.

Might not be a common issue, but I've seen it.

[Wlfwnd91]

Originally Posted by GuidoHunter

Who unwittingly engages in abstinence? It's a choice to develop a greater appreciation for sex with your spouse.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

I have to agree with this, even though I do believe sex can be used for simply fun, I kinda lost sight of why I chose to abstain in the first place, and the fact of the matter is that because when you do find that special someone, then it makes it a million times more meaningful. And though no one's here to judge on how you define your special someone, I can see it being just that much more amazing after marriage, when you've verbally and publically made that committment to each other to stay together forever. Some people may chose that they don't want a long term committment like marriage, and simply view sex as a recreation, and that's fine, each to their own, but if you're lookiing for that someone then I think waiting is the best choice.

...I made a mistake >.< lol

[Necros140606]

after seeing chardish post, i'm trying to explain my opinion. all the deal about premarital sex started because of christian puritanism. everyone has their beliefs and stuff, i personally don't believe in god and in the catholics teachings. they just appear to me like psycological limitations. i must admit there ARE some advantages in abstinence before marriage, but it's all related with the alienation from reality caused by religion. the fact people who abstain have a lower divorce rate is because they believe in christian teachings, and separating is a sin. so it does not mean that if you abstain, your marriage will be better. also, sex is still seen as something you should have to regret of (and it's all religion fault-mainly christinity), not like a sign of love or even physical attraction alone. i personally see sex at the same level of kisses, because it's a way to please ourself and the partner. just a bit more intense. the whole point of my post is that abstinence may work if you are conditioned by religion, or fear, or emotions. otherwise sex is fine as long as you know what you're doing and not pretending to turn it into a love.

[Wlfwnd91]

Originally Posted by Necros140606

the fact people who abstain have a lower divorce rate is because they believe in christian teachings, and separating is a sin.

Do you have proof that that's the reason divorce rates are lower? I personally think it would be because these people are closer because they waited. I have not met a single Christian who abides by the "Do not divorce" law set forth in the bible. They may agree that it's a sin to divorce, however very few abide by it.

so it does not mean that if you abstain, your marriage will be better.

Of course it doesn't. People who abstain just tend to be stronger people with enough discipline to make things work even through the hard times. Cause not having sex is difficult, especially when you've been together a long time or are even engaged. And it's proven that sex is a big part of a relationship, so you can imagine that these couples who abstain are going through more than those who don't, so when they get into the marriage wouldn't they have a stronger ability to handle their problems?

i personally see sex at the same level of kisses, because it's a way to please ourself and the partner. just a bit more intense. the whole point of my post is that abstinence may work if you are conditioned by religion, or fear, or emotions. otherwise sex is fine as long as you know what you're doing and not pretending to turn it into a love.

So when you have a wife(husband?) how are you going to show your love for them? Of course sex isn't the only way, but it's one of the most powerful ways. And if you get done making love to your spouse after you get married and you saw it as only a fun thing to do, what's she going to think? Sex is one of the most binding acts 2 people can engage in, and you rank it with kissing. I've chosen to re-abstain myself, yea I screwed up cause I went through some tough stuff and it was more of a drug for me and made me feel better, but what I'm getting at with this is.. I'm a Satanist. A religion whose philosophy is to enjoy your life and if that means having sex every 5 hours then do it. I chose not to have sex because of my own free will. No religion has effected my choice. Unreligious people chose to abstain too, so quit blaming Christianity.

[GuidoHunter]

Originally Posted by Necros140606

but it's all related with the alienation from reality caused by religion.

Mmmmm.... no. You say you read all of chardish's post (not a bit of which ever mentioned religion) and you still think that it's all religious? And somehow separated from reality, to boot? You clearly didn't read it all that well.

the fact people who abstain have a lower divorce rate is because they believe in christian teachings, and separating is a sin.

Mmmmm.... no. While remarriage (note: not divorce) is a sin, that sure isn't stopping people. On top of that, not all Christians believe that remarriage constitutes adultery. As far as I know, that's just Cathlolics (there could be more, but not many).

It's more likely due to the fact that we emphasize the importance of marriage in such a way that people won't go into it lightly. They will think about the decision long and hard and will only go through with it if the person's truly right for them. I find that situation much more likely than a vast number of people staying trapped in relationships just for the sin aspect of it.

Abstinence only further edifies that feeling of knowing what you're doing is right.

also, sex is still seen as something you should have to regret of

Well, too bad, because it always has been and always will be for people.

(and it's all religion fault-mainly christinity)

Now you're just being bigoted against Christianity. This is Critical Thinking, so you really ought to think your points through.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[Necros140606]

the fact is i find it difficult to express myself being english not my native language. however, i read chardish post. just pointed out some aspects of what he said and posted what i thought. nice topic by the way. i love to meet other people's opinions

[NarutoFoxDemon]

Premarital Sex is against the bible, right?So why do it then?

[talisman]

There are people who don't believe in the Bible, you know.

[NarutoFoxDemon]

Yeah, but I think it is safe to say a lot of people on here do

[All_That_Chaz]

plenty don't too. never assume you're in the moral right.

[stretchypanda]

Originally Posted by NarutoFoxDemon

Yeah, but I think it is safe to say a lot of people on here do

While I am pretty sure you're incorrect, even if the people who do not follow Christianity were in the minority on FFR, we cannot just push those people's opinions aside as unimportant because they do not agree with the majority.

You also should be making these decisions for yourself. Don't just say, "Well, the Bible says 'no', so I'm out." You should find out WHY you should hold yourself back from something that so many people say is amazing.

I'd also like to point out that "Well, the Bible says so" is not a legitimate response for a CT thread.

[bhuntjr]

well, I don't believe in the bible. And for the most part. Mostly everyone that does, NOT ALL, but A LOT have premarital sex. I'm kind of indifferent about it though. I actually think that because people have some much sex with different people that they pretty much doom any marriage because after a while they want something else because they can bored with it. So....Yeah maybe its a good idea. Although, I've had my share of it and I'm pretty much IN LOVE with the girl that I have now and I could never leave her for those reasons...because it's not about the sex its about the person. But most people don't seem to get that.

[csoup1414]

Originally Posted by coolade123

I saw Chardish make a huge post about this somewhere else but I want to see other peoples' opinions on this. What are the benefits of waiting until your married before having sexual intercourse, and are there any benefits of not waiting? I mean, you should always wait until your a certain age, but does getting married really make a difference?

Discuss.

well, i always wanted to wait until i was married incase of "accidents" like pregnancy...because im still in high school and i never want to have sex until im married, just in case, because im not going to ruin my education over some guy who would probably just use me anyway. i want to make sure im with the right person
IMO there are no benefits of having sex when you're sixteen or fifteen...no benefits except your mother screaming at you, you lying to her, and having to go on the maury show or something...and the only good thing about that is that you get on tv
there is nothing good about premarital sex unless you have complete control over your life and are out of school and are completely sure that the person you are with loves you enough and you love them

[sgkoneko]

Originally Posted by csoup1414

well, i always wanted to wait until i was married incase of "accidents" like pregnancy...because im still in high school and i never want to have sex until im married, just in case, because im not going to ruin my education over some guy who would probably just use me anyway. i want to make sure im with the right person
IMO there are no benefits of having sex when you're sixteen or fifteen...no benefits except your mother screaming at you, you lying to her, and having to go on the maury show or something...and the only good thing about that is that you get on tv
there is nothing good about premarital sex unless you have complete control over your life and are out of school and are completely sure that the person you are with loves you enough and you love them

There's nothing wrong with waiting. I just don't think it's wrong if you can't either. People have urges and they may need to give in to them. Some people also have no desire to have sex whatsoever. They are probably lucky, because they are less likely to have diseases.
But abstinence doesn't make you immune to diseases. If your husband were to cheat and contract a disease, he may pass it on. Or he could have had a disease all along and didn't tell you, you get married, have sex, and now you have it.

Condoms. That's how you prevent diseases. Now, whether or not you want to have sex should be up to you and no one else(except the person you want to have sex with of course).

Why is this a debate?

[Necros140606]

Originally Posted by GuidoHunter

Mmmmm.... no. You say you read all of chardish's post (not a bit of which ever mentioned religion) and you still think that it's all religious? And somehow separated from reality, to boot? You clearly didn't read it all that well.



Mmmmm.... no. While remarriage (note: not divorce) is a sin, that sure isn't stopping people. On top of that, not all Christians believe that remarriage constitutes adultery. As far as I know, that's just Cathlolics (there could be more, but not many).

It's more likely due to the fact that we emphasize the importance of marriage in such a way that people won't go into it lightly. They will think about the decision long and hard and will only go through with it if the person's truly right for them. I find that situation much more likely than a vast number of people staying trapped in relationships just for the sin aspect of it.

Abstinence only further edifies that feeling of knowing what you're doing is right.



Well, too bad, because it always has been and always will be for people.



Now you're just being bigoted against Christianity. This is Critical Thinking, so you really ought to think your points through.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

by the way, there IS a reason why i said so. i live in italy you know, and the premarital sex is common thing. there's really no discussion here, i never known someone who abstained from sex till marriage. nay, we're pretty close to the death of marriage since our parliament is trying to approve some laws about the equiparance of marriage with the cohabitation.

the discussion about premarital sex belongs mostly to the USA, due to a different culture. i just tried to express my opinion about it. =)

[AOL_blows911]

Originally Posted by NarutoFoxDemon

Premarital Sex is against the bible, right?So why do it then?

If I were you, I'd never post taht again in CT. Ever. I know it might be YOUR belief, which is fine, nobody here's going to slam you for it, but do NOT assume that because the Bible says so, we'll follow it. Also, do NOT assume that because there are next to no retards posting in this forum that we all believe in the Bible. For all you know, I'm Athiest. Or Muslim. Whatever. Besides, using the Bible for evidence to back up your posts is against forums rules here. Keep it to your own beliefs, don't impose on ours not ours.

Well, ranting aside, I only see 2 problems with premarital sex: Babies and STD's. Anyone can avoid getting pregnant, if you use the right precautions. Theres so many ways to keep yourself safe that your almost guarenteed to come out of it kid-free. STD's are a bit more tricky, but again, smart people get tested / ask their partner. Otherwise, I see absolutely no problem ih having sex before your married

[kylehaas]

STD's.
And you go to hell.
And if you have kids, you completely screw their future.

[chunky_cheese]

My grandma had my mom when she was 16 and my mom...

Okay so maybe my mom's really screwed up.

I think that if you both really know each other and are ready for this, and have really talked over the consequences, and the protection methods, and are commited to each other. Then I don't see why not.

[purebloodtexan]

Originally Posted by kylehaas

STD's.
And you go to hell.
And if you have kids, you completely screw their future.

In case you weren't being sarcastic, I'll go ahead and respond.

Just because someone has premarital sex doesn't mean that they're absolutely filthy. They may only do it on days such as Christmas, V-day or their anniversary, and use protection anyway.
Read the whole thread. We're basically trying to keep religion out of this, because it can have little if no effect on premarital sex.
This is probably why the intelligent take measures to prevent ejaculation into the female, whether by condom or by withdrawal. Even so, it's not always the male that has the orgasm. Be mindful.

Anyway, sorry if I burned anyone's eyes, I can make it up later if I did, but it seems that sex at a legal age is a better topic of discussion than premarital sex. I mean, come on, I'm probably going to tap SOMETHING while I'm in college/before I'm married. Now, I'm not saying that those who don't wait until they're legal are cowardly or are lesser beings, but I just have to ask: Why can't you wait until the proper age? I mean, you don't have to have sex now, do you? In addition to that, it makes parents fuss even more than if you were legal, whether it applies to what Kyle claimed or not. Also, like I said, it seems more rewarding when you've waited that long to finally do the deed. I don't know, maybe waiting isn't exactly a rule to me, but a challenge.

[devonin]

Why can't you wait until the proper age?

I'm curious to hear how exactly you defend one particular age as "Proper age"

For one, any legality is usually concerned with comparative age, to stop adults from taking advantage of those too young to understand what they are agreeing to.

But what about when both people are under 18 (This number varies a lot by country and situation of course)? Should that actually be illegal? What's the reasoning behind that?

It is one thing to say "Wait until the arbitrary legal age where the government figured most people would be intelligent and mature enough to handle it" entirely out of a sense of, I don't know, civic duty, because you genuinely feel that violating any government law is wrong, but to somehow imply that the arbitrary number is any more or less "correct" than any other seems pretty foolish to me.