Irrelevant post game

[Patashu]

Charlene...

[JKPolk]

Hello, this is Andrew Boytoucher and you're watching Channel 75 Action News.
Our lead story tonight comes from the city of Daytona Beach where angry residents say they're tired of their town being used as a haven for public drunkenness, nudity, and strip bars every eighteen feet.

[Patashu]

The VGMP is going to rock.

[Shadow_God_10]

jk fdkljgfesklklkljhkjlhklghkljjhjksdfjlhdghkjl;ghjsfdkjsgjhfjkfgjksfgjkhgjkfgkj

EDIT: that HAS GOT TO BE THE most random post ever

[terence1357]

R3

[JKPolk]

Knightrider theme song remixed. Cotton Candy! Fraps on top of cup rims of fire frame.

[Patashu]

*busts out a guitar*

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK!

[Silver_Brian]

Bump.

(Hey, I can fit into Gaia!)

[Shadow_God_10]

lfvdbnjkghrklj;bvhjsfdhfbdflh;lhkgdlhsfjh

more randomness

[FluorescentArmy]

I'm going to have sex with a panda

[Eternal_0]

They see me rollin',
They hatin',
Patrollin',
They tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty

[Doug31]

I will graduate from high school in 10 days, but my last day of school is only 5 days away, plus I don't even have school on Wednesday, leaving me with only three days of school left.

-Zefgawert

[Triplex72]

11:36pm

[Shadow_God_10]

meow

[Doug31]

Synth rules!

[Shadow_God_10]

Go Omega

[Tibs]

Max! (Exclamation Mark)

[Doug31]

Supertifirulicativamente = a big long word that starts with super, in another language.

[FluorescentArmy]

Burritos

[dore]

The dozens
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Your mom joke)
Jump to: navigation, search

The dozens is an African American oral tradition in which two acquaintances go head to head in a contest of often good-natured, ribald "trash-talk". They take turns insulting; "cracking", "ranking", "sparking", "janking", "snapping", "checking", or "riding" — on one another, their adversary's mother, or other family member until one of them has no comeback.

This is called playing the dozens, doin' the dozens, or sometimes dirty dozens. The dozens is a contest of personal power—of wit, verbal ability, and mental agility, but especially of mental toughness and self-control. If one lashes out in anger, that person automatically loses the contest. Each putdown, or snap, ups the ante. Defeat can be humiliating, but a skilled contender, win or lose, may gain respect. The dozens is one of the contributing elements in the development of hip hop, especially the practice of freestyle battling. The opponent is often considered being served.
Contents
[show]

* 1 History and practice
* 2 The dozens in literature and the performing arts
* 3 Related practices outside the African American community
* 4 Examples of snaps
o 4.1 "Yo' Momma's so fat..."
o 4.2 "Yo' Momma's so stupid..."
o 4.3 "Yo' Momma's so old..."
o 4.4 "Yo' Momma's such a slut..."
o 4.5 "Yo' Momma's so ugly..."
o 4.6 "Yo' Momma's so poor..."
* 5 See also
* 6 References
* 7 External links

[edit]

History and practice

The dozens can be a harmless game of casual, good-natured jibes, an exchange of malicious insults, taunts or, if tempers flare, a prelude to physical violence. While the competition on its face is usually light-hearted, smiles sometimes mask real tensions. In its purest form, the dozens is part of a custom of verbal sparring, of "woofin'" and "signifyin'" ostensibly intended to defuse conflict nonviolently, descended from oral traditions of indigenous West African cultures.

The term the dozens is believed to refer to the devaluing on the auction block of slaves who were past their prime, deformed, aged, or no longer capable of hard labor after years of back-breaking toil. These slaves often were sold by the dozen. In "Still Laughing to Keep from Crying: Black Humor", African American author and professor Mona Lisa Saloy writes:

The dozens has its origins in the slave trade of New Orleans where deformed slaves—generally slaves punished with dismemberment for disobedience—were grouped in lots of a 'cheap dozen' for sale to slave owners. For a Black to be sold as part of the 'dozens' was the lowest blow possible.[1]

"Yo' momma" is a common, widely recognized retort in slang. It is a cryptic and sometimes comical allusion to the dozens.

Children have been known to express contempt or defiance by reciting a short poem that refers to the dozens, but in which the insults are mostly implied:

Yo' momma, yo' daddy, Yo' bald-headed granny

Yo' momma, Yo' daddy, Yo' sista, too. Go tell them bitches to go back to the zoo.

[edit]

The dozens in literature and the performing arts

Kokomo Arnold, one of the most popular American blues musicians of the 1930s, released a song Twelves (Dirty Dozens) that includes lyrics such as:

I like yo' momma - sister, too
I did like your poppa - but your poppa wouldn't do
I met your poppa on the corner the other day
I soon found out he was funny that way.

In Zora Neale Hurston's, Their Eyes Were Watching God (1937), there is reference to "playin' de dozens" in front of Joe's store.

George Carlin talks about playing the dozens on his Grammy-winning album The Class Clown.

"You wanna know the dozens, well the dozens is a game, but the way I ****ed your mother, is a goddamn shame"

Alternative hip hop group The Pharcyde released a song on their debut album Bizarre Ride II: The Pharcyde entitled "Ya' Mama", the lyrics of which consist entirely of snaps. A remix of this song is used as the theme of MTV's trash-talk show Yo Momma (see below for more information about the show.) In addition, the Australian hip-hop group Butterfingers have a song called "Yo Momma" that includes the chorus "Yo Momma's on the top of my things-to-do list."

The book Snaps (1994), written by James Percelay, is a compendium of over 450 jokes. Its popularity gave rise to sequels Double Snaps (1995), Triple Snaps (1996), and Snaps 4 (1998). The books use the epithet "your mother", as opposed to the more common "yo' momma". The book series spawned a television series titled Snaps which ran briefly on HBO. The movies White Men Can't Jump, Remember the Titans, 8 Mile, and House Party include exchanges of snaps.

The Keenan Ivory Wayans TV show In Living Color regularly featured a game show segment titled The Dirty Dozens and parodies of popular game shows, such as Wheel of Dozens and Family Dozens. Their brothers, Shawn and Marlon have also been involved in these, so much so that in 2004, they released a mobile phone game based on The Dozens.

The book A Portrait of Yo Mama As a Young Man (2005), written by Andrew Barlow and Kent Roberts, is a postmodern take on the dozens which redefines the form through the use of reflexivity, absurdism, and anti-humor. In addition to jokes, the book contains charts, poetry, a résumé, and various other short humor pieces. The title is derived from James Joyce's A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.

The title of the Mexican film Y tu mamá también (literally, "And your mother, too") is taken from a scene in the movie wherein the two young male protagonists do their equivalent of the dozens.

In 2006, MTV premiered a game show titled Yo Momma executive produced and hosted by Wilmer Valderrama. Contestants face off in playing the dozens. The person judged to be the funniest wins a cash prize. The four winners from that week then face off in a final round, where the weekly winner gets another cash prize and additional prizes as well.

Fictional artist MC Hawking (a gangsta rapping parody of theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking) has a song called "The Dozens" on his CD A Brief History of Rhyme: MC Hawking's Greatest Hits, where he raps "yo momma" jokes like "Yo momma's such a slut, the other night I had to park my dick on her ass and wait an hour to get in."
[edit]

Related practices outside the African American community

There are phenomena similar to the dozens outside the African American community. In Britain, for instance, the analogous usage is "your mum" or "your mam" or "yer maw". Derogatory barbs focus almost exclusively on impugning the sexual integrity of the target's mother.

Historically, similar verbal competitions were practiced in other cultures. Ancient Germanic cultures, including the Norse and Anglo-Saxons, practiced a ritual exchange of insults known as flyting, which is similar in function to the dozens. In sixteenth-century Scotland, the term flyting was used to describe an exchange of abusive poems by poets. Arab poets exchanged creative insults in naqa'id, a practice continued in the zajal verbal jousting of present-day Lebanon. American cowboys in the late nineteenth century participated in cussing contests, the winners of which were sometimes rewarded with new saddles.

Some use your mom jokes as a riposte and often a counter-riposte to any insulting statement made.

In recent years, your mom jokes have also become used for statements that have no hostile or pejorative intent: "I love to eat ice cream." "Your mom loves to eat ice cream!" The phrase can also be used to skew another person's words: "Ramen noodles are cheap and easy." "Your mom is cheap and easy!"; "Primates occupy an interesting ecological niche." "I pri-mated with your mom's ecological niche!"

Quips like "That's what your mom said (last night)" or "[[That's what she said]]" (wherein "she" does not necessarily refer to somebody's mother, but instead an unnamed, hypothetical woman) are also sometimes used to reply humorously to anything vaguely suggestive.
[edit]

Examples of snaps

What follow are a few sanitized, less colorful examples of snaps in the dozens.
[edit]

"Yo' Momma's so fat..."

* "...she fell in love and broke it."
* "...she's on both sides of the family tree."
* "...when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house."
* "...that she sweats butter."
* "...that she uses diet soap."
* "...she went out in high heels and came back in sandals."
* "...that when she takes off her shoes, they smile."
* "...that McDonald's buys oil from her."
* "...that when she jumps for joy, she gets stuck."
* "...that when she goes out in a yellow raincoat, people yell 'Taxi! Taxi!'."
* "...that when she goes out in a red blouse, people yell 'Kool-Aid,Kool-Aid!'."
* "...she's the reason the Underground Railroad was underground."
* "...when she goes out camping, the bears have to hide their food."
* "...the last time she saw 90210, she was on a scale."
* "...she's on the seafood diet; she sees food and eats it."
* "...that when she got lost, her picture was on all four sides of the milk carton."
* "...when I saw her weight, I mistook it for her phone number."
* "...when she broke her leg gravy poured out."
* "...she plays pool with the planets"
* "...she covers three hemispheres."
* "...she shows up on radar."
* "...she eats Wheat Thicks."
* "...when she sits down in a movie theater, she sits next to EVERYONE."
* "...the sun orbits around HER!"
* "...everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil."
* "...she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out."
* "...she sat on a dollar and four quarters came out."
* "...when she wears a Malcolm X jacket, helicopters land on her back."
* "...her blood type is 'Ragu'."
* "...she uses a matress as a tampon."
* "...she walked in front of the TV and I missed 35 episodes of my favorite show."
* "...when she walked in front of the T.V., I missed all the Star Wars movies."
* "...she has her own zip code."

[edit]

"Yo' Momma's so stupid..."

* "...she thought a quarterback was a refund."
* "...she stole free bread."
* "...she got locked out of a motorcycle."
* "...that when the weather man said it was chilly outside, she grabbed her bowl and spoon."
* "...she thought a McCoy smoothie was a passage to Ashanth's eyeball."
* "...she got locked in Asda's and starved."
* "...she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center."
* "...she got run over by a parked car."
* "...she tripped over a cordless phone"
* "...she thinks Tupac Shakur is a Jewish holiday."
* "...she failed a pregnancy test."
* "...she bought a solar-powered flashlight."
* "...she saw a sign that said wet floor...so she did."
* "...she asked for the toy section in Toys "R" Us."
* "...she invented the motorcycle with air conditioning."
* "...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept."
* "...she sits on the T.V. and watches the couch."
* "...she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk."
* "...I asked for a color TV and she came back and asked me what color?
* "...she tried to commit suicide by jumping off the sidewalk
* "...she jumped over a chain-link fence to see what was on the other side."
* "...she got told to swim across the English channel, got halfway across, decided she was tired and swam back
* "...looked at a paper which said PLEASE DO NOT WRITE ON THIS PAPER and she wrote ok.
* "...she's even considered stupid."
* "...she thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.
* "...she thinks this joke is funny."

[edit]

"Yo' Momma's so old..."

* "...she babysat Adam."
* "...when I slapped her back, her boobs fell off."
* "...Jesus Christ still owes her a few dollars."
* "...her breast milk is powdered."
* "...when God said 'Let there be light,' she flipped the switch."
* "...She got gang-banged by the Flintstones."
* "...Her birth certificate says 'expired'."
* "...I told her to act her age and she dropped dead."
* "...she's even considered old."

[edit]

"Yo' Momma's such a slut..."

* "...she has more Wangs in her than a Chinese Phone Book."
* "...she walks around with a mattress on her back."
* "...she gives STDs through the phone."
* "...the other night I had to park my dick on her ass and wait an hour to get in."
* "...she's even considered a slut."

[edit]

"Yo' Momma's so ugly..."

* "...when she looks in the mirror, her reflection ducks."
* "...she can stick her face in dough and make gorilla cookies."
* "...people dress up as her for Halloween."
* "...she makes Godzilla run away."
* "...she makes you look good."
* "...when she's at a strip club, people pay her to keep her clothes ON."
* "...whenever she goes out, she has to wears a sign saying 'Warning: May Cause Irritation'."
* "...she's even considered ugly."

[edit]

"Yo' Momma's so poor..."

* "...she has to go to KFC to lick peoples' fingers."
* "...when she goes to McDonald's she gets food on layaway."
* "...I saw her kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doin' and she said 'Moving'"
* "...when I came to her house I walked through the front door and came out the back porch."
* "...I saw her walking down the street with only one shoe on. I asked her if she had lost a shoe but she said 'no I just found one!'"
* "...she strips at Chuck E. Cheese's for tokens!"
* "...I stepped on a cigarette, and she said "Who turned the light off?"
* "...I asked to go to the bathroom, and she told me to pick a corner.
* "...she can't even afford a free car wash."
* "...her house is messy."
* "...she's even considered poor."