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11-14-2010, 01:30 PM | #1 |
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did this for school each part corresponds to a painting in "the voyage of life" by co
Voyage of Life, Pt. 1: A History of Swathes
I was born into a history of swathes, asphyxiated by furrowing sheets of white with just enough empty space in between each layer for my infant eyes to see the vast expanse of caves and chambers that surrounded me. I lay down in the natural bliss of the newborn, my body barely able to shift itself from its supine position. But O! To be ferried out of those cursed grottos, where all evidence of life was but shadows on the rocky walls, austere and borderless. I became aware of myself and of my surroundings; suddenly I was no longer padlocked inside this cold vessel but instead on the outside, looking in. But alas! The flash of light, the cold air in my face: I am gone. What is pleasure but a vague postcard, misplaced in the peripheral vision of the mind’s eye? Voyage of Life, Pt. 2: The Dickensian Aspect The water was a pulsing chord: the sky was reflected in the water and the water in the sky. The birds sang in rhythm to the water lapping upon the shores of green. Elsewhere, we saw squirrels kicking up dust trying to bury acorns, creating little cloudy pools of brown in the lake. Clouds formed empyrean castles housing friendly beasts assembling themselves out of aether. Wind blew and clapped water upon our boat, a sound which echoed throughout the dome of our sacred landscape and caused the voles and raccoons to reluctantly come out from their hiding places between muddy stones and broken twigs. The sky and the field and the lake all came together and rang and spun and twisted and shouted and clapped as we poked our heads under the muddy water, searching for the Dickensian aspect in the lives of the fish who lived there. The Voyage of Life, Pt. 3: Contempt Preacher!: eschew these inept sermons; the Lord will never forgive those who expect a free pass to eternal life by rambling. “Consider the lillies of the field. They are beautiful, as is this whole world. All of God’s creations are beautiful. Consider also the grizzly bear, searching for honey.” What malfunction, what delusion is this? Is righteousness measured in those who are asleep from boredom in front of you? Nay, I say, Nay! In deciding whether to use the heart or the mind to display your false praise, you have chosen neither. Poet!: you are not exempt. Do you live in dreams? Those same dreams you are missing by staying up all night, wracking your brain and wasting ink that could instead be mercilessly poured into your eyes--let’s see you write about the beauty of the sky then! You and the abominable preacher are similarly deluded; do not pretend you are superior simply because you are aware of your own delusion. Philosophers, scientists, so-called thinkers!: remove yourselves from my presence; you are the most sickening of all. Do you really believe that you can unlock the secrets of the universe with a key that is so misshapen and rusted? I have seen all and known all, and every truth you envision yourself as understanding is in lieu of this ultimate revelation: you are on a deadly river, in a boat that is about to sink. Perhaps your feeble mind would have been put to better use inventing yourself a floatation device. The Voyage of Life, Pt. 4: Slumber Where am I now?: this opaque labyrinth in which I began my journey as a lifeless cage, using any power I had to stare at the gorgeous Nothing placed in front of me. Did I really begin at all? As nightfall obscures my view, my thoughts manifest themselves into shapes that project onto the black canvas in front of me. Was it me in those dark caverns? Or was I still a spirit floating, simply attaching myself to this figure? Now, time erases itself: what was the beginning? The end? What was once rigidly linear is now slowly curling itself up into a ball; an accumulation of events all happening at once. Is this my body? Is this my mind that is thinking these thoughts? I cannot see my own hands; for all I know they could have been sawed off and are now being used to paddle this boat to an uncharted destination where I will be greeted by a friendly hostess: “Hello, beautiful. Did you enjoy your trip?” |
11-14-2010, 01:31 PM | #2 |
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Re: did this for school each part corresponds to a painting in "the voyage of life" b
cole* ps yeah i know i just basically hit enter whenever i felt like it deal with it oetry: LOL heay whats up
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11-18-2010, 05:49 PM | #3 |
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Re: did this for school each part corresponds to a painting in "the voyage of life" b
Well written, although if I may make a minor suggestion, the "But O!" and "But alas!" sound out of place, and are overused. I'd consider changing/cutting it
Nice job though c: |
12-21-2010, 01:04 PM | #4 | |
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Location: San Antonio ~!(210)!~
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Re: did this for school each part corresponds to a painting in "the voyage of life" b
Quote:
There is some really nice imagery in here, there are some cliche's but I think because your voice is so strong and your wording unique that it's ok in here. Very nice job |
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02-23-2024, 01:39 PM | #5 | |
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Re: did this for school each part corresponds to a painting in "the voyage of life" by co
Quote:
Last edited by BruceAdler; 02-26-2024 at 07:54 AM.. |
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