10-17-2018, 03:26 PM | #1 |
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Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
So… I really love my girlfriend, she’s an amazing person to be around (except her being a casual gamer, that part of her can go to hell). She’s been over for a week, and though she’s leaving today, I really will miss her, she’s definitely a pleasure to be around. We’ve mostly been playing Skyrim and Spore (I will return to my regular stream schedule in a bit), but we’ve still been having lots of fun.
There’s just one thing tho… she kinda isn’t very feminine. Like, when I first met her, she was a sissy, but after multiple discussions we’ve had, we can both agree that she’s trans. She’s had very similar thoughts that I had, and I believe that her crossdressing desires, combined with the fact that she wants to be a “lesbian couple” (her own words), is a pretty good indicator. Now, we both could very well be wrong, but for now, I think we can both agree on one thing. The thing is, she grows facial hair SUPER FAST. Like, she shaved an hour before she came over, by the next day, I was seeing clearly defined hairs. For contrast, I need to shave once every 5 days (on average) before it starts becoming visible to the average person. I’ve been having a bit of problem with her tho, and it’s a personal one that I can’t seem to shake. I’m having trouble with her appearence. It’s not that I’m bodyshaming or that I don’t like her, just with me being a lesbian and all, it’s really hard for me to date someone that’s so masculine. Like, her figure, body odor, and almost everything else is almost entirely male; with the obvious exception of her personality. I’ve talked to her about this issue, and she is holding off transition till she moves out of her parents’ house. Even though her parents would be more than accepting, she still wants to move for whatever reason. The thing is, I feel like it won’t happen for a long time, we’re both in a similar boat: no college education, little work experience, and lackluster high school grades. She’s applied to over 2000 jobs, and she’s been denied. Compound that with the fact that neither of us have a car, and it makes for a really bad situation. I don’t know how to handle this appearence problem, it irks me and makes me quite uncomfortable (given my past), and it’s probably not gonna change for a while… I’m not entirely sure how to deal with this, as I’ve never fallen in love in this sort of situation before… |
10-17-2018, 03:35 PM | #2 |
魔法少女
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
Move on
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10-17-2018, 03:39 PM | #3 |
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
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10-17-2018, 03:42 PM | #4 |
✘ Forever OP✘
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
Mfw male-to-female pre-op trans dating a male girlfriend identifying as sissy who wants to transition to female in the future has trouble with her girlfriend's masculine appearance.
Seriously, just date a real girl if you can't even be patient enough for your "girlfriend" to transition. |
10-17-2018, 03:48 PM | #5 |
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
If you need someone to change to feel comfortable around them or if you are unwilling to wait till they change so you can be comfortable around them why are you "falling in love with them".
Usually when i see someone who loves someone they love all of them and are usually comfortable around them. if you do really like this person try to focus on why you like them and not why you dislike them. Last edited by 123kappa3; 10-17-2018 at 03:48 PM.. |
10-17-2018, 03:50 PM | #6 | |
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
Quote:
Also, “male girlfriend” is an oxymoron. And it’s not just as easy as “just date a real girl” it takes EFFORT and LUCK to find the right one. I haven’t had a lasting relationship with legitimate love that isn’t based off sex in more than 4 years. And even then, my last relationship didn’t even last that long cause I used to be one of those Nice Guy™️ types who had no social skills. It’s not as easy as it sounds. Sure, I can find a girl on tinder to bang within a week, but it’ll just leave me feeling empty, and likely won’t lead to a relationship. Something tells me you’ve never been in a relationship before… |
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10-17-2018, 03:53 PM | #7 |
Confirmed Heartbreaker
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
Sounds like you can't be in the relationship until she changes how she looks
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10-17-2018, 04:01 PM | #8 |
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
*snap* this is going in my cringe compilation
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"humans are allergic to happiness" -exurb1a "the only successful prank is the one you just dont f***ing pull" - penguinz0 "Happiness is an unachievable myth peddled by those too afraid to admit that the world's default state is misery" - exurb1a |
10-17-2018, 04:02 PM | #9 |
Digital Dancing!
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let this thread not deter from the fact that
THIS IS A MESSAGE BOARD ON A WEBSITE DEDICATED TO RHYTHM GAMING Why are you posting this here? It surely can't be to get serious advice from any kind of expert because, again, THIS IS A MESSAGE BOARD ON A WEBSITE DEDICATED TO RHYTHM GAMING I don't usually pay any mind to these kinds of threads from you, but if people in the past have offered constructive advice/criticism, why not talk to them directly instead of publicly on A MESSAGE BOARD ON A WEBSITE DEDICATED TO RHYTHM GAMING ?? Here I found a place to post this!!! You're welcome, hope you find the help you're looking for. https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/
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Last edited by devonin; 10-17-2018 at 05:12 PM.. |
10-17-2018, 04:06 PM | #10 | ||||
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Quote:
It’s really hard for me to get past this, and since I have little family or any sort of therapist I can talk to, it tends to stick in my mind forever and there’s not many places to vent or anything. I stilll treat her with plenty of respect tho, and I always tend to check up on her and make sure she’s had enough to eat and stuff. We’ve had a great time both times she’s come over, and she tends to stay for over a week every time she comes over. I don’t know why this has to be so hard for me… Quote:
Quote:
We have quite a bit in common, and it should last way longer than my other relationships at this rate. Difficult to get past this wall tho… R.I.P Filthy Frank Quote:
But don’t worry, if I ever do have a relationship ending problem, I won’t lead them on. I’ll end it early if something way worse than this arises She’s 26, it’s more than possible that it has reached that number over the years. In fact, if she’s applied three times a day since she was 16, she would be WAYYYY over that number. She has had a job at some point, but she doesn’t have one atm. She once worked at a wash tub (which I presume might’ve closed down, or at least the location near her) Last edited by devonin; 10-17-2018 at 05:11 PM.. |
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10-17-2018, 04:19 PM | #11 |
FFR Hall of Fame
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
shhhh this is a library
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10-17-2018, 04:19 PM | #12 |
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
"I'm not body shaming but I don't like the way they look"
And listen to Rushy Last edited by Gradiant; 10-17-2018 at 04:20 PM.. |
10-17-2018, 04:20 PM | #13 | |
Snivy! Dohoho!
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This thread is probably going to be locked, but I need to say this because wow.
...If your reason of thinking of moving on from a relationship is because of appearance... I'm sorry, but what the heck is wrong with you? That's not a relationship, that's just being incredibly selfish and not respecting them as you should like any relationship is all about. Like... I'm trying to contain myself here, but what I read made me super angry man... Quote:
What the fuck is this shit?
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Last edited by devonin; 10-17-2018 at 05:12 PM.. |
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10-17-2018, 04:24 PM | #14 |
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
The gall someone has to have to bring up 'offensive terminology' when they make a thread about questioning a relationship because of not liking someone's appearance.
Save them the trouble later on by telling them all this shit now. Let them be the one to decide if they still want to be in a relationship with a person that acts this way. Last edited by Gradiant; 10-17-2018 at 04:27 PM.. |
10-17-2018, 04:32 PM | #15 | |
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
Quote:
I talked to her about this recently, and she said it was “perfectly understandable” for me to feel this way. Love isn’t on hold by any means, and I ain’t gonna treat her like a second class citizen for her looks, but we both acknowledge that - given my past as an abuse/rape victim and my sexuality - it might me a little hard to come to terms with it. People blindly flaming me are not helping me, in fact, they’re making me slightly more pissed off and stressed about the whole thing. Anyone who knows me, will know that a stressed Wolfie is a monster… |
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10-17-2018, 04:35 PM | #16 |
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
We're still coming to grips with new terminology as we get a better societal understanding of sexuality and much like "straight" has connotations that "het" does not "real" has connotations that "cis" does not.
Societally-driven gendered appearances and smell also greatly affect whether we find people desirable or not. Changing hormonal balance can affect both of those, but accepting that that's the case requires accepting that we're just a bunch of fucking animals. Relationships are messy.
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Last edited by aperson; 10-17-2018 at 04:36 PM.. |
10-17-2018, 04:37 PM | #17 | |
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
Quote:
part 2 - rushy didn't flame you, simply pointed out that you've very constantly been trying to push your personal life into these forums, and that there are much better places to specifically ask for advice regarding your issues. It's been a pattern of you trying to create threads to ask for help regarding xyz when there's some nice alternatives! Your big all caps post in massive font was pretty rude. |
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10-17-2018, 04:41 PM | #18 | |
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
Quote:
2) I wasn’t referring to Rushy specifically with the flaming. |
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10-17-2018, 04:41 PM | #19 |
Snivy! Dohoho!
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
Okay, so if you're saying that, then why on earth are you even lamenting about it and asking for advice? Everyone is going to tell you the same thing. Respect who they are and have them make their own decision regarding how they look. If they want to remain masculine, it should be their call. Or if you can't, then tell them straight and drop the relationship without breaking too much of a heart.
That being said, if this really is gonna be a problem but you do care, then perhaps you could always pretend their appearance is to your standards until you actually believe it. Y'know, tricking yourself and whatnot. That is if you really do care for this person. You can mess with people, but mess with their hearts and it's a whole different ball game. The way you worded it in the OP made me think you were considering dropping them.
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Last edited by Charu; 10-17-2018 at 05:11 PM.. |
10-17-2018, 04:42 PM | #20 |
Celestial Harbor
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Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…
you were definitely referring to him in your all caps post, given that you directly quoted him.
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