Brother Bear Review

[elemental666]

ive decided since slankydamanky wrote such an excellent review on Peter Pan, im gonna write a review on Disneys Brother Bear

and before i start, saw it at the dollar theatre with a 1 dollar carmike certificate i got from bowling. lol

this movie starts out terrible. alaskan like people believing in lights touching earth and turning winter to spring or some shit like that. really retarded. brother is getting his totum, its a bear, he is sad cause hee wanted bro to stop making fun of him. ha, i laugh at him. well he was suppoosed to tie up the fish, didint, bear took em, this *** went after the bear, well his to brothers go after him, he falls off cliff, brother fight bear, one falls off a cliff and lands in ice water followed by mass chunks of ice. they never find him, what a terrible tragedy, so sad, yeah yeah, and i left to get popcorn, came bak, *** went after the bear again, killed it, then theres colorful lights (really awesome if your high... but i wasnt... so it sucked) and wtf he gets turned into a bear, and the dead bear disappears.

so then the other brother comes looking for him, but now hes a bear so his brother trys killing him, halarious, runs away, meets those 2 annoying mooses. They are fags too. They have a mad orgy while eating grass.

So this little pint sized migit bear CODA meets the *** who got turned into a bear, which i will now refer to this character as "***". So the *** gets caught in a trap, coda laughs, coda gets him down, and so on. they ride on the backs of mammoths trying to find this samon run which is near the mountain where the lights molest the earth. at this point im talking to ppl on my cell phone, terrible movie.

well this is when it gets good, they get to the samon run, a bunch of *** bears are frolicking in the river together, such a happy moment, then they tell storys, coda tells the story of his mom getting seperated from him when she was battling hunters on a ice ridge... sound familiar!

YES FOLKS, THE *** KILLED THE POOR MIDGIT BEARS MOM
AND THE LITTLE TIKE THOUGH HE WAS SUCH A ROLE MODEL

he admits this to coda, coda runs away crying, *** leaves, then the fags brother comes after him cause he still d0ont know its his nfag brother turned into a bear (still pointless) coda saves him, the dead brother comes down from shiny lights and turns the *** back into human, hes naked, really pointless, totally hentai like shit, not point of this, coda gets scared and hides behinda rock, the *** is still naked, terrible scene

so what happens now! he wants to be turned back into a bear, he does, then he frolics with the midget coda. WTF


characters-


the ***- yeahhhh he needs like... killed... violently

midget bear coda- annoying, homosexual, unsure of gender

the brother that didnt die- HAHA GREAT, MADE FUN OF THE *** THROUGHOUT THE BEGINNING, TRYING KILLING HIM LOLOL YES HAHAHA

the brother that died- kool guy, to bad he wasnt there i nthe movie to actually improve it

the old lady with the staff- i have one word for this character NO

the fucking mooses- ahhh die!



this is not as good of review as the peter pan one but, this movie wa sjust sad, and a good 2 hours wasted of my time

and the phil collins music just totally made this movie utterly pathedic

if you see it

ill kill you

the end

this movie

gets....

and F

point wise...

gets no points, its way down i nthe negatives somewhere.

yeah... i know.. i need shot for seeing this movie....