Synth, come rescue me! (Or, why American Airlines sucks like hell.)

[whorlichan]

A few of you may know that I went to California this past week for my cousin's Bar Mitzvah. All went well, the party was awesome, and I even made some drunken IMs. Then I tried to go home on Sunday night. This is the story of how I came to be mired in a Holiday Inn in Rolling Meadows, Illinois.

The plan was, take the 9:30 pm shuttle bus to the airport and make my 11:10 pm flight easily. Then get to Chicago at about 3 am and get on a 4am flight that would have me in Philly before 10 am, and at my own house by noon at the latest. Here's what really happened:

9:05pm - stuck in traffic on the way to the shuttle bus.
9:25pm - refused entry onto the shuttle bus because I was "too late" even though the bus was half-empty and left 10 minutes late. FUME.
9:55pm - get on 10pm shuttle bus which is FULL OF PEOPLE DEAR LORD WHERE DID THEY ALL COME FROM.
10:24pm - stopped for an interminable amount of time at the terminal RIGHT BEFORE the one I need.
10:32pm - refused entry onto my flight because the baggage check closes 40 minutes before departure. Argue that 38 minutes is almost the same, told to go talk to agent.
11:20pm - finally make it through the lines to the agent. (Note that my flight has already left.) She tells me I can wait for the next flight, which is at 11:50--no, wait, 12:50--no, sorry, 2:30. Ooops! It's full, and so is standby...Go sit in the international terminal until 4:30 am when the American terminal opens again and they can get you a ticket.
4:26am - Where the hell did all these PEOPLE come from? WTF!
4:52am - I have a flight (it leaves at 9am) and I have checked my bags. I head for my gate. I am told I am at the wrong gate, even though it says so right here on the ticket and on the overhead screens that I'm in the right place. Takes the agent several minutes to realize SHE is actually in the wrong place, not me.
8:31am - boarding is supposed to start but we have no plane.
9:12am - 11 minutes after departure time, we are still boarding.
Cut to the end of the flight--thank the gods it was short and quick.
3:00pm Chicago time (uh...2pm Cali time? I think?) - My flight to Philadelphia is cancelled. So is the next one and the next one and OH! Here's a flight at 9pm--no wait, that one's cancelled too. You can wait here and see if the weather clears up by then...
3:35pm - I have a hotel voucher and a pass for my bags to be given to me instead of sent to Philly, thanks to my massive crying binge and amazing puppy dog eyes.
3:36pm-5:40pm - I wait for my bags.
5:47pm - I am told that, despite my lovely pass, my bags have in fact gone to Philadelphia even though no humans have been allowed to go there.
5:52pm - I catch the shuttle bus for the ride to the hotel and FUME some more.

Hopefully this is what will happen now:
7pm - I go to sleep.
4:30am - I wake up, shower, and take shuttle back to airport.
6:30am - I get on my plane, dammit.
7:04am - The plane LEAVES ON TIME (wishful thinking I know (WTIK)).
10:00am - The plane ARRIVES ON TIME. (more WTIK)
10:30am - Having gotten my bags from the baggage claim center (WTIK) I get on the train and go home.
12noon at the latest: SLEEP IN MY OWN DAMN BED with my kitties.

The moral of the story:
I hate flying. I refuse to do it anymore. From now on the family can come visit ME.

I am planning to write an angry letter to American Air but we'll see how this plays out first. If I'm not in Philly by noon tomorrow HEADS WILL ROLL.