To the community that's shaped up my teenage years.

[TerminusC22]

Hey, I'm Heather, I think a lot of people probably knew me by my old name or old tag, NinjaSM or whatever, that, doesn't matter now though, that's not who I am rn.

It's 10PM in Australia, and I'm a couple of beers down, which means I moved out, which is great news, I'm finally living as myself in a country that accepts me as me, I'm sure for a lot of people they might not have even known I transitioned, that's fine though. Some of you who do remember me for whatever reason, might think I still have short hair and a fuckton of facial hair.

It's weird as fuck that I'm coming back to post something like this in a forum that's kind of dead, to a community that's not really mine anymore, I left the community years ago, and I keep rejoining and leaving once-twice every moon or so, I haven't been a part of the active community since 2019. I don't plan on becoming an active member again, I also have to focus on life, moving, and generally being a much happier person now.

I've said a bunch of shit I regretted over the years, and was a shitty person, and to be fair, yeah I was a teen, but I wish was a lot more mature, I wish I was a lot more different, I was clearly not the person I wanted to be, and to be fair as someone who had serious issues growing up, the details of which I won't discuss here. It's kind of natural that someone like me would be a little shit at some point, even if it was just to cope.

Hell, I've even apologized to people in the community for how I acted back then at some point and even though some people were confused and were like "well you didn't actually wrong me but ok", it still bothered me enough, I am so deeply ashamed of how I was growing up that I struggle to go back just because I think about how embarrassing of a person I was, despite all my issues and what I was dealing with.

That's not what this is about though, I wanted to thank you guys, actually. I was a deeply depressed teen with a lot of issues and I was a fucking stupid little shit. Despite all of that though, being around the community at such a period also helped me connect with a group of people when I losing everyone around me IRL. Even though I found a space I was happier being in later down the line, I actually think back about my time in the community...somewhat fondly at points?

Sometimes I joke about how harmful rhythm games were and how much I regret it but idk how much I truly regret if I'm coming back to post something like this. Sometimes I run into people I knew from the community and it's pleasant, but there's always an air of "oh god you missed so much."

To clarify, I'm a fighting game player now and play Street Fighter competitively, I've not had an interest of playing rhythm games seriously, DDR I still play but casually and because there's an arcade 5 minutes away from me.

I'm sure no one remembers who I am, and that's ok, if I post this and no one responds that's AOK with me actually; but if you do, thank you.

I'm glad I had a space I could confide in even if I was never the best at giving back to said space.

P.S: it's crazy that I met some of y'all almost 10 years ago LMAO fucking get me out of here