thanks FFR

[Arch0wl]

sometimes I talk shit on y'all but unless it involves deceit (i.e. I think you're being dishonest) I am >90% guaranteed to not think it's a big deal

and I think that gets at a crucial thing about this website, and websites like it, that I value a lot. because lately I've seen a lot of discussion groups on the internet where people just think their input is valuable by default, without saying why, or qualifying their experience in any way.

for example: "that's annoying" as your only comment.

now you may know instances of people on FFR saying things like this but that's backed up by who they are. if Dynam0 says "that's annoying" on a chart of yours you know this is not just someone's unsolicited preference, this is one of the best players of this game saying this. whether you take it into account is one thing, but we all make comments realizing these things.

so what I've realized about this community shaped how I thought about people as a teenager is, to an extent, how the US Marine Corps does as well. you might think that's ridiculous, but hear me out, because several of my close friends are marines. some active duty.

in places like this, you do not matter unless you give people a reason to believe you matter. everyone who is posting here, who has achieved some kind of recognition, has SHOWN why they deserve to be paid attention to at some point or another. either via your game playing ability, or your charts, or your music, or whatever -- everyone has contributed *something* to show how they're worth paying attention to. the marines are similar; you start off worthless, basically. you're set to zero and built up from there in value.

now people here don't berate you like it's the marines -- well, depends on the chart you submitted I guess -- but there IS an expectation of "what makes this person feel like they deserve to comment?"

and I remember that when I barely posted here. I felt that twice actually -- once when I first started posting here and had contributed very little, and once in 2007-2008 when I was unsure if my commentary was still worthwhile to anyone.

I still play Stepmania; not as much anymore, because I have a ton of other priorities, but I do. more importantly, though, because I discovered this website just as I was becoming a teenager (13-14), this mentality stuck with me for all of the other activities I decided to undertake seriously. the culture on websites like this one instilled a much higher standard of performance than the dinky high schools I was attending at the time. (one of them was *extremely* run-down and was the high school where students were sent when they had been suspended, so my standards from peers at the time were not high.)

since then, I know that I'm objectively great at a few things. when I was applying to grad school I was able to easily score the 99th percentile on the writing section, which I know is a result of my interest in writing in general, and I looked at it with standards closer to how I was used to being evaluated by people talking shit on me on the internet than, say, a professor with some nice things to say. if your writing can survive a professor's critique that's one thing, but if you can submit it to the internet public and they truly find nothing wrong with it then that's a special mark of survivability.

that score was quite a while ago (about a year ago), and I don't think that's an especially great thing to achieve -- it's just a test score -- but I think it's an example of something I wouldn't have done if I had never used this website and been expected to demonstrate why I should be paid attention to, as opposed to how many environments are now where every person's viewpoint is given equal weight regardless of merit.

so, thank you for being you. all of you.