A very different brag

[Doug31]

I'm the best Kid Icarus: Uprising Player at online with anyone! (Or very close to it, but I probably am)

Can you believe it? I'm sure a lot of you might think it's not the case, but here's a list of evidence. Btw, this all refers to light versus dark since free for all is an even more easy win where almost no one good ever plays it anymore so I just always win.

I've lot count of how many times I've won 99 out of 100 consecutive matches. Don't even usually use my best weapon, too. Most of it is with rotating between around 16 different weapons.

I wont 133 matches in a row without even using any of my 3 best weapons.

I got some guy to make a topic saying, "I saw the scariest thing." And then explained how his entire team was engulfed by pink dragons lol. Of course, I caused it.

Another guy made a topic saying, "Did I miss something?" And then explained how someone swept every match he was in with Gemini Orbitars, valued at 299, getting about 2000+ points almost every time. Of course, this was me.

Another guy, who was the best in his clan, made a topic saying how good I did when I was on his team. I clearly did much better than he did and he was of one of the best clans.

I can beat the winner of the e3 tournament over half the time, even though about half the people I've seen seem to think he's the best player they've ever faced. He's really good and played almost constantly back then.

In tournaments, I've never even lost a game, let alone a match. The description I remember from one of my opponents afterwards included "GG" and "I got wasted."

Another guy made a topic trying to figure out if anyone knew who my username is, and he's a very good player with piles of near perfect weapons and yet he still think he only won once out of about 30 times when I was using my best weapon. He's probably about correct. He says his teammates are always so horrible but mine are always about as bad I just keep killing all of his before they get a chance to do anything significantly useful. I've seen many other players with their ideal weapons also be able to beat me about 1/30 of the time, as well.

Other players on my team, even with perfect weapons, sometimes complain that they can't even hit anyone even when they're all just dying so fast. I've learned to pretty much not trust my allies and just kill all the enemies as fast as possible before my allies can cost me the game by dying too much. I can often win about 5 games in a room I just entered before I even notice one of my allies has been AFK the whole time. They do so little it really doesn't make much difference against most opponents. I can even sometimes win games when both of my allies are AFK.

I'm so good at offense that it does me good to self-destruct to get more powers once both angels are out. I almost always can easily kill the enemy angel so if the other team makes someone other than me on my team the angel, it's pretty much all locked up.

I've never even seen anyone else use many of the advantages I have. And boy have I ever seen a lot of players since I've played over 9000 matches, literally. These include things like moving further away from your router to make them not be able to melee attack you since it'll be too laggy, using sky jump to get to inaccessible otherwise places and then laugh as they can't get to you. Walk over an edge after they used trade-off and then jump back up with sky jump and laugh at them when they can't get back up and wasted their trade-off. Push an AFKer on your own team into a dodge token so he will automatically dodge enemy attacks. Intentionally DCS over an edge or into a jump panel so you can DCS again sooner because of a slight flaw in the game mechanics. Mash L to us SCF with boom orbitars without being slowed down. Foxtrot when tempuraed. Fire as far away from your intended target as possible with still hitting them so your shots will travel further when using a weapon that's shots get stronger the further they travel. Abuse paralysis in a way so that you hit them almost instantly every time they stand up and knock them down again so it's basically an infinite combo that they can't get out of. Oh, and here's a really important one. Use a weapon with the mods that give you the best chance of winning. Though they have perfect weapons in a fight where everyone has one, if you assume that your allies are useless since otherwise you would have won no matter what anyway, then my weapon actually gives the best chance of winning. Since no one I've ever played against has ever managed to come up with a max chance of winning weapon, none of them could ever get as high of a win percentage as me. Too many more to list, and I've never seen anyone else do any of them.

I might even have more things to say but this is all I can think of for now. Also notice I said with anyone. In a constructed team where everyone has evasion there are probably people better at that than me, but I'm very inexperienced at that type of play. I find it lame since in theory, everything should just be evaded and no one ever gets hit. I just don't really want to play that way.

Edit: video 1: hard to see Geminis: http://youtu.be/i6BOsyeueo0
video 2: easier to see, basic strategy Geminis: http://youtu.be/PHVNQdrsYYQ
video 3: Taurus Arm melee opponents to death even though it was really laggy: http://youtu.be/2AYP6SComNM