Rubix's Dirty Haiku Chaining Game

[MrRubix]

Just a little experiment because I am bored. I'll start off with a haiku (three-line poem following a 5-7-5 syllable structure).

You must change two lines of the above poster's haiku but keep one of the lines to include in your own (a borrowed 5-syllable line can only go in the second line, but if you're keeping a 3-syllable line you can put it at the first or third line of your own haiku).

But it must also follow these rules:

-All haikus need to be dirty in some way.

-If the above poster refers to male genitalia in any way, your haiku needs to refer to food somehow.

-If the above poster refers to female genitalia in any way, your haiku must refer to something cute/cuddly somehow.

-If the above poster refers to something sexual that doesn't include genitalia, your haiku must include at least one of the following items: Piss, shit, cum, blood, vomit -- where the reference can be either literal, figurative, implied, or otherwise implemented creatively.

-If none of the above rules apply, your haiku must be written such that at least one of the above rules will apply next time.

Rules can stack.

Here is the starting haiku.


Nightmarish morning.
To wake up and face harsh truth.
I can't find my cock.