Marriage

[1961casey]

The main problem with all male/female realationships is that most people enter it with the idea of what they can get out of it for themselves. With that frame of mind the relationship runs dry very quickly. If, instead, they determined beforehand that the person they are considering is mature and responsible and then that they have something to offer the other person then it is off to a better start.
Secondly, a healthy relationship is based on the realization that it takes time and effort to make it work. It involves things like taking deliberate time to simply be with the other person. Making sure there is no doubt that the other person knows that they are loved. (That means saying 'I love you' at least once a day. Right girls? Guys, take it from one who knows: 'You can never go wrong saying it, even if the girl should know better.) It means choosing the other person over time with friends. It means deciding to love the other person even if they are acting like a jerk/bitch. It means shutting up and just letting the other person vent off frustration no matter how silly it may seem. (Again guys, take it from someone who has been there.) It means remembering the little things that the other person likes and acting on it. It means getting to know their quirks and strengths. It means making sure that the other person is the most important person in the whole world to you. It means that whatever decision you make, the other person is at least aware of it beforehand and that they know you care about their opinion at least. It means saying 'I'm sorry' and meaning it. It means forgiving their mistakes and accepting their apology. Note that nowhere in the above paragraph is the condition 'when you feel like it' mentioned. You do it because it is important to the other person not because it satisfies some infantile need for self-gratification.
People have to realize that nowhere in the traditional wedding vows is it mentioned anything about how one '[i]feels[i]' toward the other person. Instead, it is a promise to stick by the other person no matter what. This is a vow, a promise and a commitment. It is a rational decision one makes. It is based on common sense and a realization that it is permanent or at least it is supposed to be.
The bottomline is this: loving someone is a decision you make not an emotion you feel.

If people were willing to accept their responsibility for their relationship with the other person then the divorce rate would drop dramatically. Unfortunately, we live in a very selfish society where personal wants and needs come before everything else including one's spouse. And when those wants and needs are not satisfied the participants move on to the next victim of their needs.