Untitled Play

[MalReynolds]

Only the first scene, so far. Plan on making it 3 acts. We'll see how far I actually get.

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(A park – Daytime. There’s a man sitting in front of a chess table. He very slowly and cautiously gets out a Monopoly board and sets the pieces up. He removes two of the player pieces – a car and a gun – and places them on the board. He counts out two stacks of money, and sets them aside. He removes the Chance! Cards, and sets them on the board. Finally, he removes two dice, and sets them aside. When he finishes this, he stands, and removes his coat. He is wearing a blue button-up shirt, tucked in to khakis. Next to the bench is a briefcase, unopened. After he folds his jacket, he sits back down.)

(There’s about thirty seconds before a man enters, SL, with a woman. They walk, oblivious to the man, until he knocks his briefcase over and it makes a thudding sound. This other man should be in a red shirt, tucked in to his khakis. He is THOMAS CAMPBELL. The man in the blue shirt is HAROLD CAINE. The woman is GINA CAMPBELL – she should be wearing a red blouse with a blue scarf.)

GINA: Harold? Is that you?

HAROLD: Yes, yes it is. (He stands.)

(She crosses, and stares at him)

GINA: What are you doing here?

HAROLD: I’m actually supposed to be playing Monopoly with someone, but they haven’t shown up yet. I see Thomas lurking back there! Thomas, m’boy! Still hiding behind a woman?

(THOMAS laughs and comes forward)

THOMAS: Ah, Harold. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

HAROLD: Almost three years, by my count. But who really has been counting?

THOMAS: Too true. Do you play out here in the park often? Monopoly – not exactly the game of intense strategy. I remember you used to be a God at Chess.

HAROLD: Well, the man I’m supposed to be playing against was never really good at Chess. I thought I’d level the field. And as juvenile as you make Monopoly sound, it’s really quite an interesting game.

THOMAS: What makes it more interesting than Chess?

GINA: If you ask me, they’re both boring. You’d never catch me sitting down at a game like this. Monopoly or Chess. Just give me a good book any day. Much more stimulating.

HAROLD: What makes it more interesting than Chess, I suppose – at least in this case – is that at any point, the tide can turn by the proper throw of the die. In Chess, your opponent is always looking for the next open move, trying to figure out what you’re thinking, trying to protect the most valuable piece –

THOMAS: The King.

HAROLD: - Of course, but with a game like Monopoly... There’s luck involved. Even the biggest idiot in the world stands at least a fraction of a chance of winning against the most skilled player.

THOMAS: How sensitive you sound. I never took you to be a man that would ever take into consideration the shortcomings of another man.

HAROLD: What is it to win if there’s no challenge? Besides, there’s no incentive to play if there’s no chance of victory for the other party.

GINA: Well, gosh, that sure does sound awful nice of you, Harold, but Thomas and I, we really have to be running.

HAROLD: Ah, yes. It was good running into you again, Gina. Thomas. We should play Chess sometime. You’re the only person who has ever really come close to beating me, outside my father.

THOMAS: Yes, playing again does sound quite fun.

HAROLD: And I read all about your latest dig in National Geographic. That’s... It’s really something, isn’t it.

THOMAS: It is.

(GINA stares at THOMAS – everything short of pulling his arm.)

THOMAS: But we really have to be running. We have lunch reservations at Luigi’s.

HAROLD: Oh, they’re open for lunch now?

THOMAS: ... We just have to get going, is all. You understand.

HAROLD: Of course. I’ll see you two later. Have a good lunch.

(THOMAS and GINA cross to SR. They appear deep in conversation. GINA starts motioning – it appears they are having a silent argument. After a few seconds, she exasperatedly drops her hands to her sides.)

GINA: Fine, Thomas. I’ll be at the apartment.

(THOMAS goes in to kiss her, but she walks away. He sighs, and runs after her. A few seconds pass, and he walks back on stage, crossing over to HAROLD.)

THOMAS: Sorry about that, I didn’t – ah. That was rather awkward.

HAROLD: I thought you had lunch plans?

THOMAS: I haven’t seen you in three years, Harold. A sandwich and soup can wait another day, can’t they?

HAROLD: At least I know I rank higher in your book than chicken stock and stale bread. Have a seat, have a seat.

(THOMAS sits down, and HAROLD sits across from them, the board between them)

THOMAS: When is your friend supposed to arrive?

HAROLD: He was due in a few minutes ago. When he gets here, you can stand up, free yourself from your now binding conversation with me.

THOMAS: Binding?

HAROLD: Well, now, at least according to etiquette, you’re required to stay until your replacement comes along. Which really, shouldn’t be too long now, as he has a track record of being highly punctual.

THOMAS: Oh. I see. Did you really read about my dig in the National Geographic?

HAROLD: I did. It was a big story.

THOMAS: It was bigger than a big story, Harold. It was the cover story.

HAROLD: A big story, a cover story. They’re both big stories. I was passing by in the airport, when I look over and see your beaming face on the cover. The first time I’ve ever bought the magazine – quite a boring one, at that, so it’ll probably be the last one I ever buy. It’s not every day I see a past acquaintance of mine has... What did they say? “Changed the face of...”

THOMAS: “Changed the face of modern paleontology and the very way we could look at the migratory patterns of Paleolithic herbivores.”

HAROLD: A mouthful at that. And when I saw you looking up at me from that golden frame, it just made me curious. Car, or gun?

THOMAS: Excuse me?

HAROLD: Automobile or firearm.

THOMAS: I don’t follow.

HAROLD: Playing piece of choice. Automobile, or firearm. I’m being a gentleman and letting you choose.

THOMAS: I don’t really have time to play, Harold –

HAROLD: It’s just until my friend arrives.

THOMAS: But Gina, I should really...

HAROLD: It’s anyone’s game, Thomas. No set winner at the beginning. Not like chess.

THOMAS: The gun. I’ll take the gun. I didn’t even know a gun was a Monopoly piece.

HAROLD: It isn’t. I lost the pieces a few years back and replaced the shoe with a Clue! piece.

THOMAS: Ah. Well, Thomas with the gun on “Go!” then.

(HAROLD chuckles)

THOMAS: The laughing equivalent of a golf clap. Highest roll goes first?

(HAROLD picks up the dice and tosses them on the board)

HAROLD: Lucky number seven.

THOMAS: The odds are in your favor.

(THOMAS rolls the dice.)

THOMAS: Eight. I’ve won!

HAROLD: Barely. But this just reinforces what I said about competent competition.

(THOMAS chuckles)

HAROLD: The laughing equivalent of a golf clap.

(THOMAS rolls, and moves his piece)

THOMAS: So just seeing me on the magazine compelled you to buy it? I’m no Capote. It wasn’t a come-hither look. I was covered in dirt. I remember the day Sarah Alderman flew out to take the picture. It was hideously hot... I was trying my hardest not to sweat, like you can not sweat just by wishing that you won’t. But if ever there was a person...

HAROLD: Trying to impress her, then?

THOMAS: She’s a famous photographer. Of course I was trying to impress her.

HAROLD: With Gina back at home?

THOMAS: Come off it. But I was sweating anyway, and she just walked through the haze. I told her, I said, “Sarah, be careful, there are bones everywhere.”

HAROLD: And?

THOMAS: That’s just an embarrassing thing to say to someone. First impressions are everything, aren’t they? “There are bones everywhere”! As if she didn’t know this. The first thing I said was an insulting thing.

HAROLD: Not outwardly aggressive, but to her intelligence.

THOMAS: Exactly. But I was lucky. She laughed. Took my first picture with me holding a shovel, but I had to tell her that once we even get near the bones, we stop with that nonsense. It’s so easy to fracture – well, you know. You’ve seen my lectures, you know me. I don’t want to get into that now.

HAROLD: It was always interesting to hear about how things are easily broken. It’s always been a fascinating concept, that these things have survived under the earth for millions of years, and at the end of the day, something as soft as an irreverent shovel strike can cause them to break in important places. Even a misstep can shatter a ribcage that has been around longer than I care to think.

THOMAS: Right, well, anyway, Sarah was very kind. Walked me through the whole thing. Told me I was cute, because I was camera shy. I said that she was just intimidating, and she laughed and laughed. The thought of her – have you ever met Sarah Alderman?

HAROLD: Twice.

THOMAS: The thought of her being menacing is laughable, is it not?

HAROLD: That depends. I’ve known her rather personally, and I assure you –

THOMAS: Pardon?

HAROLD: I’ve known her rather personally, and I assure you that she can be quite menacing. She can dish it out as well as she takes it.

THOMAS: What do you mean?

HAROLD: Well, when she and I lived together –

THOMAS: You lived with her...

HAROLD: Briefly. This was... About a year and a half back. I remembered how much you used to talk about her. You and Sarah, you went to the same college, right?

THOMAS: Yes, but I never had the nerve to talk to her –

HAROLD: But you were always so descriptive. I could just picture her. And who was assigned to make my tin-type, so to speak, other than your Sarah? I didn’t quite know what to say to her. You made her sound more than human. Once I got past that fact, it was really quite simple. She’s very funny. Very caring. Easy to get involved with.

THOMAS: And you lived with her?

HAROLD: She lived with me, actually, but yes. We did live together, however you cut it.

THOMAS: So you and her – you two... Ah, did you –

HAROLD: What? Did we what?

THOMAS: Did you two, were you.... Was it –

HAROLD: Come on, now, m’boy.

THOMAS: Intimate? Carnal?

HAROLD: In every definition of the word.

THOMAS: Oh.

HAROLD: In any case, things didn’t last long. They never do, do they? These things, these feelings, they’re only just fleeting. I swear, sometimes I like the idea of being with someone so much that I’ll just take anything.

THOMAS: But she was more than just anything, right?

HAROLD: Of course. I was as attached to her as I can be to someone other than myself.

THOMAS: She deserves it, I guess. Not – not the type of attachment you can give, but happiness. I’ve always thought so. Ever since college.

HAROLD: Yes. I agree. Which is why I had to cut her loose. That, and she was dragging me down. Some days I just want to come back to an empty home and a bottle of scotch. Some days, I want to come back to a person I know will appreciate me. Some days, I want to come back to a stranger, someone who will take my money and leave me in the morning without having to say a word. It’s like I can be three different people. She only filled one of those niches.

THOMAS: It just makes you sound... insensitive.

HAROLD: This is big talk coming from you, Thomas. It sounds like you’re rather invested in Ms. Alderman.

THOMAS: I know this is foolish asking you, but did you ever have the one that got away?

HAROLD: Of course. I didn’t form my views on love overnight.

THOMAS: Yeah, well, that was Sarah.

HAROLD: Even though you didn’t talk to her? You must have felt very vindicated when she visited you all the way out in the middle of nowhere.

THOMAS: Yeah.

HAROLD: Must have felt like a sign. Even though you had Gina back at home.

THOMAS: What are you doing? Stop it.

HAROLD: Did you sleep with her?

THOMAS: No.

HAROLD: I’m sorry, that was out of line. Whose roll is it? Mine? Yours?

THOMAS: Yours.

HAROLD: Right, right. (Rolls the dice) Hm... Marvin Gardens. Should I buy it?

THOMAS: Why not.

HAROLD: Cheer up, m’boy. You act like I’ve just killed you.

THOMAS: I’m sorry, I’m just a little distracted now.

HAROLD: Get your head back in the game. I could have played with a computer if I wanted to play against someone unresponsive.

THOMAS: I’m just thinking.

HAROLD: About the night you had with Sarah?

THOMAS: What? No!

HAROLD: You act like I’m going to go tell Gina right now. I’ve had my share of infidelities in the past. I know what it is. And given my take on needing another person – you really think I would do that? Think of it like this... She wasn’t a person. Gina was half a world away from you. You were half a world away from her. You two, together, were an entire world apart. If you’re in a different world, you’re a different person, and the attachments you had, they sever. And Sarah is no longer Sarah, she’s just a conquest – something to sate your needs. If you had her, I don’t care. If you’re afraid of offending my sensibilities because I used to be with her, don’t worry. It was over a year ago. You should know better than most that I don’t carry these things with me. With the weight of the world on your shoulders, you can’t really have a straight spine.

THOMAS: ... I just don’t want to talk about it.

HAROLD: Of course you do. You just don’t want to be proud. You’re not in college anymore. It’s not prudent to take pride in something like that, is it?

THOMAS: It absolutely isn’t. I don’t know how someone can be proud of their infidelities.

HAROLD: It’s not a badge you’re supposed to wear with pride, but it’s a badge you must wear regardless. Some people choose to take it in stride, others choose to hide it. You’re choosing to hide it.

THOMAS: Yes. I slept with her. Once.

HAROLD: Don’t you feel better?

THOMAS: I feel sick, Harold. What if Gina finds out?

HAROLD: How will she find out? Why would you tell her?

THOMAS: I don’t know. What’s stopping you from telling her?

HAROLD: I told you, I don’t care. The only person that cares at this point is you. The only person that ever needs to care, is you. The more people you get invested in it...

THOMAS: I suppose.

HAROLD: Now, don’t you feel better.

THOMAS: Slightly. Like an infant that has been burped, I suppose.

HAROLD: Good. (There’s a long pause) I did know the entire time.

THOMAS: About?

HAROLD: You and Sarah. She called me when she got stateside. Told me about you.

THOMAS: What?

HAROLD: Some people wear their infidelities with pride. Other’s feel more guilty. She felt the need to confess.

THOMAS: I had no idea you and she... She and you were together, Harold, I swear.

HAROLD: And that doesn’t matter. It was heading south long before she left.

THOMAS: Then why did you have me say it?

HAROLD: Marvin Gardens. I’ll buy it.

THOMAS: Back to Monopoly, then?

HAROLD: Of course. We’ve been neglecting it long enough with our silly pitter patter.

THOMAS: ... Right. My roll. (Throws the dice) Directly to jail. Quaint.

HAROLD: You can re-roll if you want.

THOMAS: No, no, I’ll take it on the chin. Not much else I can do.

HAROLD: We can just walk away from this, if you want.

THOMAS: What time is it?

HAROLD: Almost three.

THOMAS: I probably should get going. I’m heading back out to the middle of nowhere next week. I don’t want to upset Gina. She always gets paranoid whenever I leave that I won’t come back.

HAROLD: Then you should go.

THOMAS: What about your friend?

HAROLD: I think I may have just gotten the day confused. We made the plans over cell phone – awful inventions, because who really wants to be connected all the time. I probably zigged when he zagged, that’s all.

THOMAS: Well, it was good seeing you again, Harold.

HAROLD: And you, Thomas. Give Gina my best.

THOMAS: I always do.

(They shake hands over the table. THOMAS exits SR, while HAROLD cleans up the game. After it has completely been put in the box, he walks over to the trashcan and tosses the box inside, before exiting SL.)

END SCENE.