A poem with more depth than a water fountain

[Tokzic]

I've noticed that lately all Lit has been getting are half-assed poems, some of which are simply based on those bloody annoying MSN icons or avatars or whatever you call those 100x100 atrocities. I have decided to break this drought of creativity by posting the rough versions of poems I have to write. Give me any criticism you've got - also, don't bother posting if you think it's about the obvious vehicle theme.

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(Formatting on this one is as close as I can get it without making it an image.

Gesundheit

It can start from anything
or nothing at all
But once the fuse is ignited,
It cannot be put out
by even the most airtight press.

It's over in an instant,
And
yet
the
buildup
slows
everything
like
a dam
lowered into a dam a stream of time.

Then,







unexpectedly,






even though you had the feeling
it would happen all along,
you feel the silence
remorselessly bludgeoned to

DEATH

, then,

There is the horrible shapeless mess
that lingers for a lifetime
or what's left of them.

EDIT: Sidenote - if you need to ask what the underlying theme is, you're wrong about it, or don't have it exactly. If you do get it, please don't post what it is in the thread, just say, "Yeah, I got the meaning." I need to see if I need to pull it forward, shroud it a little more, or leave it the way it is.

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transfUsion

today,
i Stole
a glancE at my veiNs.
being roBbed
by plastic,
belOngings stored
in gLass bags.
never to be seen again.