Incessant

[Torac]

Alright, I felt like getting this out because I really have no one else to talk to right now, and I feel as if I don't write about it somewhere or talk about it my mind will burst and I'll end up screaming. And seeing since this is pretty much the only thing I really do on the internet I decided to post innane ramblings. So if you are looking for something interesting to read I'm sorry to mislead you by posting this up, and you don't have to read it. And I'm sorry for wasting your time.

I just can't stop thinking about stuff, and I keep on getting this incessant need to hurt myself. I got out of clinical depression in October last year after being in depressed for 8 months. This depression pretty much devastated me. It hurt me, though I know I deserved it, and I deserved to feel the pain of it. It may be gone now, but in the places where I would've gotten a panic attack or broken down periodically, I now get something I can't describe, all I know is the fact that I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH I HATE ME I HATE ME!!! and it's very hard to control my emotions, and all I want to do is cause as much pain to myself as possible. I NEED TO HURT ME I NEED TO HURT ME. I hated myself immensely in my depression but that hasn't gone away. I don't know what to do, it comes more frequently and before where I'd brutally assault my psyche, I am starting to harm my self physically as well. I don't want to bother you people into helping me, i just needed to get this out. I just don't know what to do, and there are still times where I'm just so melancholy that I want to die, I want to rip myself from this existence or anniahlate my pathtetic self. I don't know what to do when the hurting begins, or how to deal with it, I just need to figure out a way to deal with it or I'm gonna crack like a nut.
Please don't get mad at me for posting this, I'm sorry.
Torac Keldar Daremo