I've discovered something here

**FishFishRevolution** · 11-29-2005, 06:10 PM

This is very interesting: By law, if a store has a "15 Items or Less" or any other type of "Express" lane, one of the following things must be abided by at all times. (Note, the amount in which these laws apply is inversely related to how many items you need to buy, and how much time you have to spare waiting in a grociery story)

1 - The credit card swiper must be broken. Unfortunately, this is the only method of payment the three people in front of you have.

2 - The cashier must be new. We're talking brand new, like, just started today. Maybe they even just walked off the street 10 minutes ago, it doesn't matter. The important part is, even if YOU only have 1 item, the people in front of you have about 17 average (I can't tell you how many times I've seen people walk in a 15 or less lane with 20+ items), and at least one of those items is going to be difficult for this new guy to ring up.

3 - The cashier must be the only sentient person currently on the job. If a problem arises anywhere in the store, you can count on your cashier to be the only one who can solve it. Even if all he had to do was give you your change, it doesn't matter--the spill on isle 7 must be cleaned up.

4 - Someone in front of you has to argue about a price/sale. The woman directly before you in line has in her basket 10 items which were on sale last week. She thinks she can slide under the radar, but if she can't, you can bet she's going to make more a of a deal than $2.00 is worth to a new cashier.

No matter what the circumstances, the express line is always the slowest, but no matter how many times I'm running late and just need to pick up one thing, I don't learn.

emccky · 11-29-2005, 06:14 PM

takes away from the express in express lane eh. What I hate is when you get behind someone in the self checkout that has oranges in a back and is looking at the plastic bag she put them in for an extremely long time trying to find the barcode. I eventually said "Excuse me, you have to press the fruits and vegetables button, then put the number of oranges and put it on the scale." She gave me the meanest look ever.. and I said "fuck you" and she left.

jewpinthethird · 11-29-2005, 06:25 PM

It's funny because it is true.

**FishFishRevolution** · 11-29-2005, 06:26 PM

I don't get in the self-checkout lane unless it's empty--too many hopelessly stupid people on my planet.

Laharl · 11-29-2005, 08:05 PM

I love Albertson's.

ImEric12 · 11-29-2005, 08:13 PM

One time I had one item, and went into a regular lane, which had one person who was just about finished checking out, because the express lane had 3 people with 20 items each, all of them looking really dense. I got up to the cash register, and the guy there was like "Uh, if you only have less than 15 items you have to go in the express lane. I can't check you out here"

So I'm like "uh, what the hell?"

And he says "sorry, store policy"

So I had to wait like 15 minutes in line. Fuckers were lucky as hell that my cereal craving was as strong as it was.

**stretchypanda** · 11-29-2005, 08:20 PM

For some reason, after deciding that tobacco could be purchased only at the cigarette counter (because it's too much work for the cashiers to ask for ID when it's busy -- I asked), Wal-Mart made the cigarette counter an express lane. 10 items or less, including your cigarettes. In my hometown I definitely listened to a man in the store-provided wheelchair cart, hooked up to oxygen, bitch to an associate and later the shift manager (who he apparently knew personally) because he didn't want to have to go to another lane to buy his more-than-ten things and then go back to get his cigarettes.

**iggymatrixcounter** · 11-29-2005, 08:32 PM

ROFL funny. That's why I ALWAYS go to the self serve check-outs. (If they don't have them I don't shop there.) But I can go faster than most of the cashiers working at the store.

ImEric12 · 11-29-2005, 08:42 PM

Mmm. My city isn't rich enough for those. Gotta head up to ol' Sterling Heights if I want that luxury.

JurseyRider734 · 11-29-2005, 08:43 PM

You must live in the ghetto.

I live for self-check-out. I get so excited when I get to do it.

I have skills with it, too.

Afrobean · 11-29-2005, 08:46 PM

No, I'm the one in the ghetto. That's why I hit up the party stores (or y'all may know them as "convenience" stores).

We do have a Farmer Jack with self chec out in the center of town though... In fact, if Hazel Park had a "downtown" that Farmer Jack would be it.

ImEric12 · 11-29-2005, 08:50 PM

That one at 9 and John R has self check out?

WTF is taking the one at 12 and Hayes so long? D=

Oh, and Chris, the ghetto line has moved up. It used to be 11 Mile and below, but now that we had 2 violent crimes in one weekend at this one apartment complex place, it's officially been moved up to Martin and below (this happened JUST north of Martin.. 11 and a half mile, if you didn't know)

And I live JUST south of Martin. So I live in the ghetto now.

NuclearShadow · 11-29-2005, 08:52 PM

Can't wait til I get to go grocery shopping.

JurseyRider734 · 11-29-2005, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Afrobean

No, I'm the one in the ghetto. That's why I hit up the party stores (or y'all may know them as "convenience" stores).

We do have a Farmer Jack with self chec out in the center of town though... In fact, if Hazel Park had a "downtown" that Farmer Jack would be it.

OMFG FARMER JACK

Have you taken the FRESH CHALLENGE?

If not I encourage you to.

It's my life dream to become a FJ employee someday...

ImEric12 · 11-29-2005, 08:56 PM

I kinda like going to Farmer Jacks sometimes, because all the idiot seniors who I hated in my gym class in freshman year bag my groceries. =)

**sleeplessdragn** · 11-29-2005, 08:59 PM

Isn't it supposed to be "15 items or fewer"?

Since less implies a measurement?

QreepyBORIS · 11-29-2005, 09:01 PM

Correct.

We have self check-outs. It's cool; my dad bought alcohol and they just made up a birth date for him 'cause he looks old.

whorlichan · 11-29-2005, 09:03 PM

The only place I've been able to use self-checkouts is Home Depot, and even that only in California. Tass and I had a very bad experience with the self-checkouts in a Giant here in PA.

I really really miss Food 4 Less. That is all.

**sleeplessdragn** · 11-29-2005, 09:06 PM

I personally would really really really miss In N Out.

I told the cashier that it should be changed to fewer one time and they called the manager.

**FishFishRevolution** · 11-29-2005, 09:20 PM

Rofl, you hell-raiser.

11-29-2005, 06:10 PM	#1
FishFishRevolution GotR Creator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Vi sitter här i venten Current Band: The National Age: 38 Posts: 7,251	I've discovered something here This is very interesting: By law, if a store has a "15 Items or Less" or any other type of "Express" lane, one of the following things must be abided by at all times. (Note, the amount in which these laws apply is inversely related to how many items you need to buy, and how much time you have to spare waiting in a grociery story) 1 - The credit card swiper must be broken. Unfortunately, this is the only method of payment the three people in front of you have. 2 - The cashier must be new. We're talking brand new, like, just started today. Maybe they even just walked off the street 10 minutes ago, it doesn't matter. The important part is, even if YOU only have 1 item, the people in front of you have about 17 average (I can't tell you how many times I've seen people walk in a 15 or less lane with 20+ items), and at least one of those items is going to be difficult for this new guy to ring up. 3 - The cashier must be the only sentient person currently on the job. If a problem arises anywhere in the store, you can count on your cashier to be the only one who can solve it. Even if all he had to do was give you your change, it doesn't matter--the spill on isle 7 must be cleaned up. 4 - Someone in front of you has to argue about a price/sale. The woman directly before you in line has in her basket 10 items which were on sale last week. She thinks she can slide under the radar, but if she can't, you can bet she's going to make more a of a deal than $2.00 is worth to a new cashier. No matter what the circumstances, the express line is always the slowest, but no matter how many times I'm running late and just need to pick up one thing, I don't learn. __________________

11-29-2005, 06:14 PM	#2
emccky Banned Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: word Posts: 4,811	RE: I takes away from the express in express lane eh. What I hate is when you get behind someone in the self checkout that has oranges in a back and is looking at the plastic bag she put them in for an extremely long time trying to find the barcode. I eventually said "Excuse me, you have to press the fruits and vegetables button, then put the number of oranges and put it on the scale." She gave me the meanest look ever.. and I said "fuck you" and she left.

11-29-2005, 06:25 PM	#3
jewpinthethird (The Fat's Sabobah) Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Palm Springs, California Posts: 11,711	RE: I It's funny because it is true.

11-29-2005, 06:26 PM	#4
FishFishRevolution GotR Creator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Vi sitter här i venten Current Band: The National Age: 38 Posts: 7,251	RE: I I don't get in the self-checkout lane unless it's empty--too many hopelessly stupid people on my planet. __________________

11-29-2005, 08:05 PM	#5
Laharl FFR Player Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Las Vegas, NV Age: 40 Posts: 1,821	RE: I I love Albertson's. __________________ SIG PICTURES: POINTLESSLY TAKING UP BANDWIDTH SINCE THE INCEPTION OF THE INTERNET

11-29-2005, 08:13 PM	#6
ImEric12 FFR Player Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Next to Hooker Land. :o Posts: 1,952	RE: I One time I had one item, and went into a regular lane, which had one person who was just about finished checking out, because the express lane had 3 people with 20 items each, all of them looking really dense. I got up to the cash register, and the guy there was like "Uh, if you only have less than 15 items you have to go in the express lane. I can't check you out here" So I'm like "uh, what the hell?" And he says "sorry, store policy" So I had to wait like 15 minutes in line. Fuckers were lucky as hell that my cereal craving was as strong as it was. __________________

11-29-2005, 08:20 PM	#7
stretchypanda shock me shock me Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Texas Age: 41 Posts: 4,123	RE: I For some reason, after deciding that tobacco could be purchased only at the cigarette counter (because it's too much work for the cashiers to ask for ID when it's busy -- I asked), Wal-Mart made the cigarette counter an express lane. 10 items or less, including your cigarettes. In my hometown I definitely listened to a man in the store-provided wheelchair cart, hooked up to oxygen, bitch to an associate and later the shift manager (who he apparently knew personally) because he didn't want to have to go to another lane to buy his more-than-ten things and then go back to get his cigarettes.

11-29-2005, 08:32 PM	#8
iggymatrixcounter FFR Veteran Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: OH Age: 39 Posts: 1,924	RE: I ROFL funny. That's why I ALWAYS go to the self serve check-outs. (If they don't have them I don't shop there.) But I can go faster than most of the cashiers working at the store. __________________ lastfm PANDORA

11-29-2005, 08:42 PM	#9
ImEric12 FFR Player Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Next to Hooker Land. :o Posts: 1,952	RE: I Mmm. My city isn't rich enough for those. Gotta head up to ol' Sterling Heights if I want that luxury. __________________

11-29-2005, 08:46 PM	#11
Afrobean Admiral in the Red Army Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the moon Age: 38 Posts: 13,262	RE: I No, I'm the one in the ghetto. That's why I hit up the party stores (or y'all may know them as "convenience" stores). We do have a Farmer Jack with self chec out in the center of town though... In fact, if Hazel Park had a "downtown" that Farmer Jack would be it. __________________

11-29-2005, 08:50 PM	#12
ImEric12 FFR Player Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Next to Hooker Land. :o Posts: 1,952	RE: I That one at 9 and John R has self check out? WTF is taking the one at 12 and Hayes so long? D= Oh, and Chris, the ghetto line has moved up. It used to be 11 Mile and below, but now that we had 2 violent crimes in one weekend at this one apartment complex place, it's officially been moved up to Martin and below (this happened JUST north of Martin.. 11 and a half mile, if you didn't know) And I live JUST south of Martin. So I live in the ghetto now. __________________

11-29-2005, 08:56 PM	#15
ImEric12 FFR Player Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Next to Hooker Land. :o Posts: 1,952	RE: Re: RE: I I kinda like going to Farmer Jacks sometimes, because all the idiot seniors who I hated in my gym class in freshman year bag my groceries. =) __________________

11-29-2005, 08:59 PM	#16
sleeplessdragn ~Bang that beat Harder~ Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 2,321	RE: Re: RE: I Isn't it supposed to be "15 items or fewer"? Since less implies a measurement? __________________

11-29-2005, 09:01 PM	#17
QreepyBORIS FFR Player Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: It is a mystery. Age: 35 Posts: 7,454	RE: Re: RE: I Correct. We have self check-outs. It's cool; my dad bought alcohol and they just made up a birth date for him 'cause he looks old. __________________ Signature subject to change. THE ZERRRRRG.

11-29-2005, 09:03 PM	#18
whorlichan Tiny Plastic Meat Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Valley, Los Angeles Age: 42 Posts: 669	RE: Re: RE: I The only place I've been able to use self-checkouts is Home Depot, and even that only in California. Tass and I had a very bad experience with the self-checkouts in a Giant here in PA. I really really miss Food 4 Less. That is all. __________________ Goddess of Chocolate Sauce First ever graduate of the Quetzacoatino Academy for Aspiring Deities My lame LJ My friend Cassie's amazing photography

11-29-2005, 09:06 PM	#19
sleeplessdragn ~Bang that beat Harder~ Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 2,321	RE: Re: RE: I I personally would really really really miss In N Out. I told the cashier that it should be changed to fewer one time and they called the manager. __________________

11-29-2005, 09:20 PM	#20
FishFishRevolution GotR Creator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Vi sitter här i venten Current Band: The National Age: 38 Posts: 7,251	RE: Re: RE: I Rofl, you hell-raiser. __________________

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