Post your best joke

[guitar_dude15]

this momma jokes o k


yo momma is so fat her blood type is "RAGU"

[esupin]

what did the worm say to the apple?
Am I boring you?

[Chromer]

O.O The first joke was funny. The second one almost made me throw up.

[esupin]

What did the ornament say to the Christmas tree?
Mind if I hang around for a while?

[Oso9]

Why are young Mexican girls always getting pregnant?

Cause the teachers are always telling them to do an essay. (ese)

[aracelibercelle]

Hm I actually liked the talking muffin one! And Verruckter's, Fish's, and Chromo's.

Let's see if I remember this joke correctly..

One day, a woman sees her next door neighbor, who is a blonde crying her eyes out on her doorstep, so
being the caring lady she was, she went over to see what was wrong.

"What's wrong?" she asked.
"I just found out that my mother died today," the blonde replied, bawling.

Feeling bad for her loss, the neighbor stayed with her the rest of the day until she was feeling better.
The blonde seemed to be doing better the next few days until, once again, the woman found her neighbor
bawling her eyes out on her front porch.

"What's wrong this time, honey?" She asked.
Looking up at the woman with tears in her eyes she replied, "I just called my sister, and I found out HER mom
died the other day, too, and it's just SO SAD."

*snort* *snort*

ZaCAWeE07: my brother left his sandwich on his bed
ZaCAWeE07: and my dog just ate it
ZaCAWeE07: and he is all yelling and screaming at the dog
ZaCAWeE07: lol
Dont Tell Me225: HAHAHHAAH LMAO
Dont Tell Me225: HAHAHA
Dont Tell Me225: that's great..

[Squeek]

OH TIME TO GET OWNED.

So this blonde somehow manages to buy a brand new Porsche and is cruising down some desert road at a little over 100. A few miles into the trip, she encounters a truck who wants to go a little under the speed limit of 55. She's honking and honking at the guy and eventually passes him. A while later she stops for a break.

While back on the road, the trucker has gotten ahead of her again due to the break and is still going slow. She's honking like crazy and eventually passes him while saying a few choice words. She stops for lunch at the next town and when back on the road, she encounters the trucker again.

This time, the trucker motions for her to pull over and they both stop on the side of the road. He draws a small circle in the road and tells the woman not to get out of it until he tells her to. While she's in the circle he returns to his truck to get his trusty Louisville Slugger. He beats the crap out of her car so much that it cannot even be recognized as a Porsche anymore. But strangely when he returns to the circle the woman is standing in, she is laughing. So he asks her, "Why are you laughing? You can't even drive your car outta here anymore!" She replies, "Well...while you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

And I also had some Chemistry joke about NaCl but I completely forgot it.

~Squeek

[Mwerp]

what's green and says "hey I'm a frog"?

***SPOILERZ***********************

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a talking frog!

[bbcc]

racial jokes. sorry if i bother anybody.

why are black people good basketball players?
because they can run, shoot, and steal.

what do you call a mexican without a lawnmower?
unemployed.

[SotN]

Why are all blonde jokes one-liners?

So brunettes can remember them!

[nostopballa]

Here are a few of my favorites:

There was a brunette that absolutely hated blondes. So, one day while she was walking in the park she ran into a old lamp. Of course she rubs it and a genie popped out. He said he would grant her the usual 3 wishes, but with one catch, whatever she wished for 3 lucky blondes in the world would get exactly DOUBLE what she got. Well she said " Give me a million dollars". So she got her million and 3 lucky blondes got 2 million dollars. "For my next wish i would like a very nice car". So she got a brand new car. And the 3 lucky blondes got 2 very expensive cars. So on her last wish she thought about it for a while and finally she said " You see that brick over there? Beat me HALF to death with it.

*

This guy walks into a bar. Suddenly he spots his friend sitting there with his head shrunken. He says " hey man! what happened?" well i ran into this strange looking lady and she said she would grant me one wish, so i said ok have sex with me, and she said no i cant do that im sorry, then i said oh come on how bout just a little head.

*

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead on an island where their boat crashed. A couple days later, they ran out of food, and the brunette being the driver of the boat when they crashed, said " We are only about ten miles from where we came from, I will try to swim there and get help, if i dont return by tomorrow I have drowned." so she starts to swim, she swims 5 miles and gets tired, by the 6th mile she drowns. The next day the red head says" well, i guess she died, i guess its my turn to try." so she swims 6 miles gets tired and by the 7th mile she drowns. The next day the blonde decides that they both have died and she better try to swim. so she swims, and swims, and finally she sees the town where they started and its only about half a mile away, and she says " This has taken a lot of energy from me i dont want to drown." so she turns around and swims back.

*

There was blonde that lived by this farmer that recently dyed her hair brown, and one day she came up to his door and said " sir if i can guess how many sheep you have may i have one to keep for myself." he says "sure". and she looks out onto the fields. and turns back and says " you have 32 sheep" the farmer says " ok you are correct go pick you one out and bring it on home with you."
So she does. The next day the farmer goes to the blondes house and says "Ma'm if i can guess what color your hair was before you dyed it, can i have my dog back?"


thats it for now i might post more later

[FishFishRevolution]

haha nostopballa, the first one was the best.
--
So this black guy, a mexican and a new yorker are walking around, and they find a genie in a lamp. The genie comes out and says "each one of you may have one wish".
The black guy says "I wish all of my people could be back in Africa, the way we were meant to be, and no one had to work their fingers to the bone in America with no reward anymore."
With this the genie said "okay, all African Americans are back in Africa, just like you wanted." and the black man dissapeared.
The Mexican then said "I wish all my people who have to get under minimum wage jobs in America didn't have to. I wish Mexico was a thriving country, and all Mexicans living in America would return there."
So the genie said "i can do that, Mexico is a thriving country and all the Mexicans in America are back in Mexico, living happily."
The Mexican smiled and dissapeared as well. The New Yorker looked around and said "wait a sec, so you're telling me all the Mexicans and Blacks are out of America? Forever?"
The genie said "yes, that is the result of the other two men's wishes"
The New Yorker then said "Well, in that case, I'll have a nice cold coke"

[Verruckter]

I REALLY like this one:
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

[TACODUDE]

Verruckter, that was hilarious.

This one's alright...

There are three construction workers on their building: an italian, an asian, and a mexican. They decide to have their lunch on the top of the building. The italian opens his lunchbox to eat, when he finds he got ravioli. He says, "If my wife packs me this again tomorrow, I'll jump off this building." The asian opens his box and is disappointed to find egg drop soup. He says, "If my wife packs me the same thing tomorrow, I'll also jump off this building." The mexican opens his box and sadly pulls out some enchiladas. He says, "If I get the same thing tomorrow, I'll jump off." The next day, the italian man opens his lunch box to find raviolis. He curses his wife and plummets to his doom. The asian opens his box to find egg drop. Sure enough, he jumps off the building. Finally the mexican guy opens his box and finds enchiladas. He too, jumps to his doom. In heaven, they're talking to each other. The italian says, "My wife is gonna be so sorry." The asian says, "Mine too." The mexican says, "I packed my own lunch."

[Moogy]

I'm sorry, but none of these "jokes" are even remotely funny.