I don't know why, but I feel like I should make this thread.

[xNiX]

So lately I've been extremely bitter and I think this has to do with my personal life. For the ones who don't know, I've been active duty in the Air Force for roughly 3 years now. Right after my first year of service, that's when I decided to get involved/hang around the FFR community. On average, I work about 50 hours a week with a schedule that resembles this...

Monday
Fly
Tuesday
Train
Wednesday
Mission Plan
Thursday
Fly
Friday
Train

Everything in my office is micromanaged by my bosses as well. So, after awhile, you really start to get burned out from it. And with that being said, it's been effecting how I have been talking/viewing/treating people.
It's getting to the point where I feel like I need something new in my life, but I don't know exactly what it is. I have a girlfriend who loves me to death, parents that love me as well, and a job in which I can support myself...but I think there is more that I want in life, but I don't necessarily know what it is.

I've bangwagoned, trolled, backstabbed, and also have said things to people here that I probably shouldn't have. With that being said, I'm fully aware that not everyone around here is fond of me at all; therefore, since this is known to me, I'm slowly starting to isolate myself around the people I know in real life, and on FFR as well. I guess I feel like I need to shun myself at times just to make other people happy.

Anyways, I feel like this needs to be said.
Here is a list of apologies to the people who I know/think I offended....I really don't know how sincere I can be about this.

- Sorry to AJ and Kayla for giving you guys so much shit.
- Sorry to Middie for being a dick to you most of the time.
- Sorry for the dumb post(s) that I put in threads at times.
- Sorry for leaving and going in Team Blaze like it's BK. (Have it your way reference for the ones who don't get it.) I actually like quite a few of you in there.
- Sorry for getting drunk in Skype calls and saying things that I shouldn't have been saying. I've stopped drinking while talking on Skype...for the most part.
- Sorry Dylan for ignoring you sometimes. I think I would've quit this game if you weren't really there to just stick around.
- Sorry to anyone that I acted elitist to (even though I fucking suck at this game)
- Sorry for procrastination on profiles or any artwork.
- Sorry for acting like a big puss right now.

I don't expect a lot of feedback on this, but it makes me feel good to get this all out there in the open.

[top]

still thought you were cool
still think you are cool

[Choofers]

When your contract comes up and it's time to reenlist, demand a new unit or ETS.

[Coolboyrulez0]

You were always cool with me and this post just proves how good of a person you are

big up to you

As for your personal future only you can determine what you wish to do to bring yourself happiness.

[yo man im awesome]

always be awesome to me Angie <3

[TC_Halogen]

Take this with a grain of salt (it's not intended to be rude): while you have apologized, your future actions will speak volumes about how truthful your apology is. Admittedly, I am someone who definitely holds grudges, and I still have issues with a few people about what happened in the past, but that's in the past...

Either way, it's nice of you coming out in the open like that in attempts to make amends.

[dAnceguy117]

I probably have nothing to do with this thread, but

Originally Posted by top

still thought you were cool
still think you are cool

^^^

[i love you]

While they were times you have been somewhat rude on the forums, I am sure most people on here still sees you as a chill dude. I never really had much problems with you to be honest. I still see you as a very honest and generous person with a big goal in life. Also, there's going to be stress in life, but it's your choice whether to let it affect you or not.

Originally Posted by TC_Halogen

I still have issues with a few people about what happened in the past, but that's in the past...

lol I bet money I am one of those people :P

[HalfStep]

You're a cool dude Asher, I got nothing against you

[TC_Halogen]

Originally Posted by i love you

lol I bet money I am one of those people :P

fuck off, seriously.

(p.s. no, you're not )

[i love you]

Originally Posted by TC_Halogen

fuck off, seriously.

<3

[xNiX]

Originally Posted by TC_Halogen

Take this with a grain of salt (it's not intended to be rude): while you have apologized, your future actions will speak volumes about how truthful your apology is. Admittedly, I am someone who definitely holds grudges, and I still have issues with a few people about what happened in the past, but that's in the past...

Either way, it's nice of you coming out in the open like that in attempts to make amends.

Thank you. It's been awhile (but not terribly too long) since we had that incident happen involving my main Skype chat group. I will say that what did happen is not a general reflection of my personality whether you believe me or not. It was one of those things where the stress I had in real life was combined with the stress with what was happening here; the ending result after that was acting like an ass.
I hate to say it, but sometimes you don't act the way you normally do because it is the internet. For example, I would never get a sex change just so I can portray myself as a small asian girl named Angie; however, on the internet, I could act like whoever I wanted.
That still doesn't justify what I did was right though. So again, that's why I'm sorry.

Originally Posted by i love you

While they were times you have been somewhat rude on the forums, I am sure most people on here still sees you as a chill dude. I never really had much problems with you to be honest. I still see you as a very honest and generous person with a big goal in life. Also, there's going to be stress in life, but it's your choice whether to let it affect you or not.

lol I bet money I am one of those people :P

I do remember there was a time where I was being a little rude to you in the SM and Osu threads. At the time, I did have a poor excuse on why I was acting like a bag of donkey shit; however, at the end of the day, I realized that anybody who takes the time to help someone out, can't be a bad person at all. We've chatted/talked numerous times, and we've had some pretty good laughs together.

Originally Posted by Choofers

When your contract comes up and it's time to reenlist, demand a new unit or ETS.

Which is what I totally want to do...as long as it is related to aviation. The only problem with me in my situation is that I can't transfer anywhere else for at least another 2-3 years. I would tell you why, but I can't dispose that information here on the website.



I don't necessarily believe that there are bad people on FFR. Just people who make poor decisions. I have a very short patience level (I think developed this from being in the service), which can make it frustrating for me on FFR. Once "X" amount of people have annoyed/pissed me off in some way, I start acting like a douche. If there is one thing I learned, FFR's community is a much different breed than the environment I'm used to being in. I just wish I knew a more effective way of coping/dealing with stress than the way I have been.

[XelNya]

Hell really did freeze over. Shit, I hate the cold.

In reality, I wouldn't be hard on yourself over being a dick to me. It is only kind of fair. (Kind of is a bit of an understatement to most.)

Hopefully you change the way you seem to want to though. Good luck with that.

[Pseudo Enigma]

wow man ruguru/asher/nix/etc. I didn't know it was that hard for you. Have you ever thought about finding a new job? It may not be easy, (if it's even possible at all) but this one seems to be burning a hole in ya, and it might be worth considering.

Sometimes we've had conversations where I feel like I pissed you off, but now I understand why you've been on edge lately. You got a supportive community here at FFR so feel free to make yourself at home again at any time.

[Xx{Fallen}xX]

I have and always will love your sig :3
Texan <3 from me to you.