Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

[Dynam0]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Mature people work hard enough, have enough resources and have the generosity to be willing to provide for people who -want- to be able to contribute and can't.

Good thing we have mature people to set up and fund health care systems, and afford nurses and homecare workers.

If everybody just hung out and did what they wanted and didn't let "adults" "make" them be "mature" then the disabled WOULD just get ignored and die.

I think we need to change our definition of what it really means to be immature then. It's as you said in your previous post; your hobbies outside of your professional life might be considered immature by society in general when they really aren't immature at all in context. If someone works hard to be self-sufficient and has made strides to contribute to society, while making wise decisions and willing to learn from bad ones, that's maturity. It's reached when people have enough lived experiences to make beneficial moral choices for themselves and others on their own terms; there is no set age for reaching this point. What they do in their personal life is another story and is at worst an eccentricity at that point and not immaturity imo

[Cavernio]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

I was more mature at 12 than I am now.

[Dynam0]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Ah, but unless you're obviously keenly wanting to be productive, you're labelled by others as selfish and lazy etc if whatever disability you have isn't obvious. Leave the catch 22. Maybe you're not just trying hard enough. Try again. Keeping failing. That helps, right? That's what one's supposed to do?

Keep trying and don't tell yourself that you can't do something. It's really cliche but it's better to keep trying to run up the slide than sit at the bottom.

[Pseudo Enigma]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Keep trying and don't tell yourself that you can't do something. It's really cliche but it's better to keep trying to run up the slide then sit at the bottom.

^

as I said earlier, it's like hurting yourself to get stronger. You're going to be weak as always if you never hurt yourself.
...I really wish I could put that in a better way.

if you're disabled you're just going to have to find some way. I know it's harsh, but that was how natural selection worked.

[Dynam0]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

if you're disabled you're just going to have to find some way. I know it's harsh, but that was how natural selection worked.

Don't be a fool. Some people do require assistance at some point if they cannot provide on their own. It sounds like I'm contradicting my post, but Cavernio is obviously intelligent and has the ability to do great things (though she may say otherwise); it was applying to her. Some people really cannot feasibly provide for themselves, so the line needs to be drawn somewhere.

[Pseudo Enigma]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Don't be a fool. Some people do require assistance at some point if they cannot provide on their own. It sounds like I'm contradicting my post, but Cavernio is obviously intelligent and has the ability to do great things (though she may say otherwise); it was applying to her. Some people really cannot feasibly provide for themselves, so the line needs to be drawn somewhere.

I didn't say leaning on others wasn't a possibility. Sorry if it sounded like that. Humans naturally lean on each other. It's all we're good for.

[TheSaxRunner05]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

I'd change someone's personality if I were able, and if they were a complete douche. Sure you can't make people change, but you can certainly let them know when they're actions aren't appreciated. There's often an attitude of "just let them be" when it comes to these sort of people. I've found if you don't address them, they just continue to piss in the drinking water (figuratively). Those kind of people negatively affect everyone they meet.

[devonin]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

We tell ourselves that the thing that makes us better than the animals is that we don't discard the sick, elderly and disabled. We've "evolved past" the point of needing natural selection to keep us going. We can modify our environment around ourselves sufficiently that natural evolution has functionally stopped, and we have the excess resources needed to support people that are unable to contribute.

But of course 'contribute' is a word that needs defining too. Cavernio seems to want to define it like "Have a job in the commercial market" or something, which of course has nothing whatsoever to do with contributing. It's -a- way to contribute, but it's very far from being the only way.

[Cavernio]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

And here's where people think I have low self-esteem. I don't think I do, because I have experienced low self-esteem before. I know I'm good at a great many things. I'm frustrated by my mental health. It negatively affects every aspect of my life.

I'm sorry drizzleromancegirl, this is a CT thread and I should treat it as such. It really depends on what you're doing that someone else thinks is immature in how it's either a good thing or a bad thing. If someone is judging you negatively because you are being immature and there's no real downside to your immaturity on the given subject, then fuck them. If on the other hand you're being immature and it negatively affected someone else, the mature thing to do is consider how it negatively affects the other person and what you'd need to do to change it and then think about whether or not it's worth it to change your actions so that it won't happen again, or even if it's feasible to change your actions.

Some people call certain actions immature when maturity has little to do with it. Rather, it may simply be a social expectation that ultimately has little bearing on anything and you're not doing what someone else expects and they're so off-put by you not fulfilling that expectation that they call you immature. I've been called immature for things outside my control, like getting a flat tire. (No idea where it came from, I drive like an old person most of the time, slowly)

As everyone else has said though, mature actions in general make the world go round. They usually have a purpose where if at least x% of people aren't mature, society would crumble.

[benguino]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

If anything, acting all arrogant and thinking that you can do each and every single thing by yourself with no assistance is just as immature as someone who is "babysitter" and gets assistance even for the things they could easily do themselves. Being responsible means you do what you need to do to get things done and sometimes that requires you to kindly ask for or accept the assistance of others. If your house is on fire, you don't say "I don't know how to extinguish a fire this large, oh well" and let it burn, you call 911 and ask for the assistance of firefighters.

[drizzleRomanceGirl]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

I would like to point out that I'm not against acting mature; what I'm irritated about is the societal pressure and sometimes even insulting attitude that some people seem to possess when anyone is acting against social expectations.

People in general do not agree to any of the social expectations placed on everyone from when they are born until the day they die. I agree that being mature in many situations leads to a productive society. However, when people lower others' self-esteem by insulting someone's character instead of the sole immature action, this usually leads to a lower morale. As a result, this personal attack will most likely hinder the latter group's productivity in the long run. Furthermore, I don't understand the reasoning of how attacking someone's self-esteem when behaving immaturely, when most of these people have never agreed to these expectations in their entire lives, is justified.

[Tps222]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Tough skin: A Highly Useful Skill In Life.

[popsicle_3000]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

you'll get over it

[Mollocephalus]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

This entire thread seems like it comes from an untold personal drama. drizzlegirl, remember that some people will make ad personam attacks because, well, they don't know any better. You have to be able to tell what was wrong on your part and what wasn't. Don't pick up these kind of attacks, learn to discard them as they do not help you understand how to improve, nor they facilitate the process. As said before, get a better idea of your capacities and limitations, get stronger and more confident while constantly finding ways to improve yourself. Make your charachter bolder and learn to counterattack when it's right to do so, as well as learning from your mistakes and separating the insult from the actual, legitimate critiques.

[dAnceguy117]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

thick skin wouldn't be needed if everyone were always patient and understanding.

being patient and understanding wouldn't be needed if everyone always had thick skin.

strive for both? I guess that's what I'm getting at haha.