Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

[omega_grunt666]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Still not understanding whats being said here, doing what you want within the law sets some pretty wide boundaries. Some examples of what is being considered immature here would help clear things up some.

As far as I'm concerned, people can dress/talk/act the way they want as long as it isn't intentionally making others feel uncomfortable. Between friends/familiar faces I do/say all kinds of immature things because I know they are O.K. with it and act in a similar way. In public around strangers I keep it to myself, act as polite as possible, and in general just put out the most well-mannered, positive image I can. Not because of any unspoken rules or expectations, its just the best way to get that back from people. Treat others the way you wish to be treated has always been my one and only guideline and its treated me pretty well so far.

There will always be people out there who are idiots regardless, or will never be happy with what you say/do because they are looking for a target to take out frustrations on in one way or another. All you can really do is distance your self from those people or make them aware of what they are doing if you think its unintentional.

The teacher example isn't the best but I can relate, my grade school teachers for french and music back in the day were prime examples of it. If they had a single bad student that day it would effect their classes for the rest of it. And because of it I learned very little about either subject because most of the classes were spent disciplining bad students instead of teaching (immature students but also bad teaching). Where as my English/reading teacher in grade one was super awesome, I had trouble reading as a young child and he actually had after-class time to tutor 1-on-1 with students who were behind.


Anyways, I can't really think of anything else to say without any more examples of whats being considered immature here.

[devonin]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

If you refer to "adults" as something other than the group to which you, yourself belong, I'd argue that you pretty much -aren't- mature.

[Svaz]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Most definitions of mature, (not maturity, which appears to have a fairly economical lilt) concisely, seem to refer to what is expected (socially/societally, I suppose, in this context) of someone of a certain age group. You didn't give any specific personal examples (I feel not doing reading has been rebuffed enough), but I can say from my own experience that it could be that change is difficult and losing parts of your personality can be sort of painful, pain is irritating, and thereby criticism (even if somewhat constructive) is received poorly.

To expound from that specific situation posed, however, I think the key thing to do, if a) there's not a lot of help from the teacher and b) you still have questions is to reach out to other students, maybe arrange a group or study session and meet on your own time. With education and the cost thereof, it doesn't really make sense to not own it and take every opportunity you can to delve into it further!! A lot of the pricey stuff comes with online resources too, but consulting others that are in the class with you generally lends different perspectives you might not have thought to explore before.

Growing up is definitely not always pleasant, but a lot of advantages can be gained professionally and socially from doing so; showing up in accord to timelines laid out by others as opposed to what works for you, for example, shows consideration of their time. I feel like change is essential to living a pretty awesome life; if you're constantly evolving and adapting to the world around you, nothing can be thrown at you that can break you forever! Something like that. Anyway, I don't think it should be regarded as something like a crisis of losing your identity, but gaining a new facet to it and making it into something not totally similar, but slightly improved upon (naturally this can also work in reverse, but in this specific context, I think we should look at this as an advantageous change)!

Aside: I guess the definition listed by google as "careful and thorough" is also worth some examination in application to the quandry posed, but I don't quite have the time now to do so.

[Svaz]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Alternatively

[Vendetta21]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

In a classroom environment not following the expectations just results in a bad score and then you may never see the teacher again. In a workplace not following tge expectations impacts everyone you work with. In a relationship not meeting agreed upon expectations (implicitly or explicitly) causes conflict and relationship decay.

You may not always meet expectations because you are human and the expectations are beyond your capacity. Maturity is, in some sense, learning how to identify all the things expected of you, doing that which you can, and communicating clearly with others those expectations you feel can't meet. A lot of times the things you think are expected of you are malleable and sometimes your preconceived notions of your own capability are mistaken. This is where the communication element becomes critical.

Most of the time if you aren't clearly grasping the things expected of you then you will stumble, get frustrated, blame others, and make yourself a victim of circumstance. Getting better at this identification comes better with experience, and geniunely attempting to meet expectations helps to generate a realistic sense of your capacity.

In a classroom environment you may mot get the sense that you are entirely responsible for figuring out what the expectations are of you, your capacity, resolving the issues that exist, and communicating that which you feel unable to do clearly because teachers make an effort to simplify these things as much as possible and we feel it is their responsibility to make things manageable. In every other situation you encounter through your life, you will have to do this yourself for tge mist part.

My writing style here is clinical so it may make the idea sound daunting but it isn't as long as your intentions are to do your best.

[Pseudo Enigma]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

If you refer to "adults" as something other than the group to which you, yourself belong, I'd argue that you pretty much -aren't- mature.

but not doing so doesn't guarantee you are mature either.

[ilikexd]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

What I'm irritated about is when adults expect other people to act in the way they believe to be mature, and they openly attack someone's self-esteem if he or she doesn't follow those unspoken rules.

I believe everyone has their own right to act however they would like to act, provided the country's laws are not broken. I don't appreciate when people judge others who don't act how those people want them to act.

They have the right to judge you because the country's laws are not broken, right?

[Pseudo Enigma]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Guy. People who are older than you (commonly referred to adults) simply have more experience in life than you do. They've literally lived more days than you. That doesn't always mean they're right because they're older. But they have more experiences and stories to back up their moral claims. In the example of your response to Dev, you don't have to agree with him. It's probably worth listening to what he and other people older than you have to say though.

replying =/= not listening
I have read every response in this thread. My response to dev was mostly sarcasm. I don't disagree with what he said, but it sounded a bit conceited. His responses haven't been exactly helpful at looking at OP's problem either.

edit: actually, that's another thing. Just because you're older, doesn't mean I'm automatically going to respect you. Sure there's preformed respect that comes with being older than me, but the other side has to also build up from there too. Being an adult doesn't mean you can say whatever you want and get away with it because of respect. In fact, it doesn't exactly install respect. If anything it takes away from it.

Call me a rebel.

[Tharringbone]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

It is probably irritating to you because you are an immature little child.

[awein999]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

There are misconceptions when it comes to immaturity and maturity. Maturity doesn't mean have no fun and never be silly, and likewise immature doesn't mean always be silly and never be serious. You can be maturely silly and immaturely serious. There could be aspects of yourself that are mature and others that aren't. It's not a blanket statement as to whether you are mature or immature. Many people use mature vs immature weapon of words to try to insult someone who deviates from the norm and get them to conform by making them feel insecure. Instances happen all the time by less mature people attacking more mature ones ironically calling said person immature. (age is irrelevant)

You have at least one immature trait if you have a warped view of reality, shallow beliefs, shallow wisdom, acting without thinking, more self-centered or self-humble than your reality calls for, or are emotionally unstable.
Usually it comes down to whether you are a realist or not with certain things probably.

I still think the way immaturity and maturity are used as blanket statements in society as a way to "act" is bogus though.

[Pseudo Enigma]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

how about respecting everyone instead of proving their worth to you?

I just said I respect everyone. Once they do something that lessens themselves in front of me they lose that respect. It's not rocket science.

>FFR talking about maturity
it's funny in of itself.

also I think calling people immature isn't a very mature thing to do, either. Explicitly nor implicitly.

edit: KgZ I see where you're coming from, don't get me wrong. I just don't agree with it 100%.

[GuidoHunter]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

I sometimes become extremely irritated with other adults when they expect me or anyone else to be mature.

Adults looking out for the best interests of children who don't know any better? The outrage.

However, I detest when adults think the act of maturity is something that should be enforced.

Yeah, I mean who wants a productive society or anything?

Immaturity well into adulthood is a serious problem, so excuse us for trying to curb it.

The sanctimonious "Don't judge me!" attitude isn't helping your case, either.

--Guido

[dAnceguy117]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

You may not always meet expectations because you are human and the expectations are beyond your capacity. Maturity is, in some sense, learning how to identify all the things expected of you, doing that which you can, and communicating clearly with others those expectations you feel can't meet. A lot of times the things you think are expected of you are malleable and sometimes your preconceived notions of your own capability are mistaken. This is where the communication element becomes critical.

perfectly describes what I've learned through some of my own failures in the last year.

[Crazyjayde]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

I am more unnerved of the misconceptions that go along the idea of "becoming adult" upon age, where in fact it's more of a transition into maturity. Aging individuals often go along the concept of "tagging" someone by their acquired capabilities (read skills) or their age, when in fact, somebody's maturity is more often that not cultivated in wisdom. That, I think, had been more of an issue for people crossing the gap.

I could see myself more prone to understanding that. Your initial statement might need some rephrasing.

[Izzy]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Just because you're older, doesn't mean I'm automatically going to respect you.

In general I agree with this. Being older is only an opportunity to become more mature, not a guarantee.

Edit: Oh, this is a drizzle thread. I'm still pretty sure this guy is trolling nonstop. I find it difficult to believe someone could write the things he does.