this is a poem titled Roses

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

This is a poem titled Cliche.

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

yeah when you're deciding what to write a poem about, doing one of the oldest ideas in the book isn't generally something to go with

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

Oh...

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

ya kinda corny but if that's what you like writing then :thumbsup: !

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

Exactly.

In addition, the poem has no rhythm or rhyme scheme to speak of. That's not cliche, but it is bad unless you have something interesting to say.

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

when I write poetry I hardly ever ryhme, it's just something I do.

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

seriously people, lay off, not all poems rhyme.
i honestly suck at poetry, so my opinion doesnt mean much, but i have read hundreds of poems that dont rhyme, and i think this one is pretty good

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

As much as I hate to agree with anyone who joined after 2007, I have to say that some people are being too harsh and not offering constructive criticism. I love you guys, but if you're going to post, please give some advice. You're all smart, I know you can help this writer out.

1) Yes, the poem talks about a subject that is somewhat cliche. That doesn't mean you have to avoid it, you should just try to say something unique, or something not unique in a unique way.
2) Your imagery is very meh. Saying a rose's fragrance is sweet or that its petals are soft doesn't tell us anything we don't already know. Try using adjectives that make you think or put interesting images in your head. Like maybe you could use adjectives that would personify the rose, like saying the smell and scent had sexual qualities to them. That would make your beautiful but treacherous theme more powerful.
3) I do like this theme though. You presented in a way that wasn't as opaque as your ideas in your other poem. You just need to bring some originality to the concept in order to get a reaction from the reader.

You're showing improvement and I do think this has potential to be a decent poem. Keep writing!

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

lol, thank you Chaz, I do like to hear that I am improving. With what you said about putting in a sexual quality, awesome idea, but I can't submit a poem with sexual qualities into a middle school literary magazine. Believe it or not, 6th and 7th graders are worse than they seem. lol
I really do appreciate it though, and I probably will make some edits, so I will remember what you said. =)

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

Oh I don't mean to say anything crude. I just mean that you'd want to make the rose seem like a person, and a person one would be attracted to. Use adjectives like alluring, supple, radiant, enchanting, stuff like that. Words that you'd use in a love poem. Then when you talk about how the rose's thorns hurt you, you can talk about them like a lover who cheated on you.

This is all just a suggestion, of course. In the end it's your vision that you have to satisfy.

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

the last line is poetry, the rest is just a basic description. I'm not sure what to suggest except maybe you should read some more poetry. I recommend some Emily Dickinson or Arthur Rimbaud

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

Oh God anything but Dickinson!

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

I joined in October 2006, does my opinion matter Chaz?

Also the poem sucks.

Re: this is a poem titled Roses

Thanks Chaz, and NFD I'm loving the encouragement =)