I've written many embarrassing things since high school, and some before that I don't have (one got published when I was 12 though). I have done some things recently, but only halfheartedly/haphazardly. Out of everything I have ever done on the forum, this is what I'll regret the most, I already know.
Notes on the actual works:
The first was originally in something I dubbed "Topic For Freestylings" and was therefore designed for response, circa March 20th, 2008. The following is something entirely different, and from nearly a year earlier, April 20th (I celebrated nothing) 2007. To give a thorough sample, the next one is the only thing I've done with any noteworthy form outside of a class or something. Finally, something, the only thing really, that I've done lately.
Note that while I don't really expect to improve, I'd like feedback all the same:
-----------------
never sleeping cause i'm scheming master plans while you're still dreaming:
I terrorize the city then your family is screaming
just believe me, because I'm part tyrannosaur and
crushin your tile floor into the pavement
it's depravement, the way i take control
and as a whole, in my soul it's child's play
i take one step and instantly: every iota goes my way
completely demolishing the information highway
with a circuited circumvention quite readily, and then shifting direction
diuretic inflection; the purity of my words aim to bless your mess
and then the signal expresses the intense distress
you feel, under the duress of my verbalized caress
but surely, I only aim to impress
who'd have guessed despite my plans I'm only second best?
-----------------
the wicked gnash their teeth in torture
weary, yea, their eyelids fall
but sleep doesn't come to lie with the wicked
no, they will never dream, at all
alone at night, in restless slumber
a snap, a fall, a ghastly blunder
open my eyes to what's around
impart to my ears a horrible sound
words unfamiliar, fumbling, yet clear
connotations quite cold -- I tense with fear
and creeping in quiet, I inch down the hall
a cinematic showing, there, on the wall
still lit the kitchen light's lurid glow
I peered around the corner though
and rather than the fights i know
an abyss, and a modest, meek plateau
wary i walk, nary i think
that this could be the time i sink
into the black and the unknown
oh, what child's eyes are shown
alone i stand upon display
a blast of wind expended my way
a beast in black, gnashing madly
it's open maw invites me, gladly
oh no thank you -- I won't accept
as it's been ages since I've slept
it's gallant wings flapping about
the dragon in me has been let out
trite, trite trite, I want to shout
this poem's redundant, and what's it about?
but no, oh no, the show goes on
a valiant soldier, clad in dawn
bravely steps up -- the child is safe!
she wouldn't have lasted alone, the waif
but in one simple chomp, our heroes gone
now who will help her carry on
oh now...
-----------------
The static and memories sit taciturn
glaring with spite, and dissident;
intersection of the two is what he yearns
for while his preoccupations are spent
on cool calculations and crisp precision
and rationale meets whimsy, eliminates
no music hears he; perpetual intermission
but somewhere small a child awaits
and he clings ravenously to the tailpipes
of the sensible car; whose ignition screams
his young mind catches sparks, ignites
as he surrenders business to dreams
-----------------
inexorable and exhausting comparisons occur
---
pusling, i percolate, languid, into bursts of time
streams of consciousness spill forth from the parietal
and both are intermingling, to the consistency of
plagioclase. they coalesce into a cluster
an acrylic abrasion along alabaster
a message to touch; words say too much
with less meaning. only through feeling
(yes, I decided to stop right there; I don't know what else to do for now, feel free to write the ending though, haha)
Notes on the actual works:
The first was originally in something I dubbed "Topic For Freestylings" and was therefore designed for response, circa March 20th, 2008. The following is something entirely different, and from nearly a year earlier, April 20th (I celebrated nothing) 2007. To give a thorough sample, the next one is the only thing I've done with any noteworthy form outside of a class or something. Finally, something, the only thing really, that I've done lately.
Note that while I don't really expect to improve, I'd like feedback all the same:
-----------------
never sleeping cause i'm scheming master plans while you're still dreaming:
I terrorize the city then your family is screaming
just believe me, because I'm part tyrannosaur and
crushin your tile floor into the pavement
it's depravement, the way i take control
and as a whole, in my soul it's child's play
i take one step and instantly: every iota goes my way
completely demolishing the information highway
with a circuited circumvention quite readily, and then shifting direction
diuretic inflection; the purity of my words aim to bless your mess
and then the signal expresses the intense distress
you feel, under the duress of my verbalized caress
but surely, I only aim to impress
who'd have guessed despite my plans I'm only second best?
-----------------
the wicked gnash their teeth in torture
weary, yea, their eyelids fall
but sleep doesn't come to lie with the wicked
no, they will never dream, at all
alone at night, in restless slumber
a snap, a fall, a ghastly blunder
open my eyes to what's around
impart to my ears a horrible sound
words unfamiliar, fumbling, yet clear
connotations quite cold -- I tense with fear
and creeping in quiet, I inch down the hall
a cinematic showing, there, on the wall
still lit the kitchen light's lurid glow
I peered around the corner though
and rather than the fights i know
an abyss, and a modest, meek plateau
wary i walk, nary i think
that this could be the time i sink
into the black and the unknown
oh, what child's eyes are shown
alone i stand upon display
a blast of wind expended my way
a beast in black, gnashing madly
it's open maw invites me, gladly
oh no thank you -- I won't accept
as it's been ages since I've slept
it's gallant wings flapping about
the dragon in me has been let out
trite, trite trite, I want to shout
this poem's redundant, and what's it about?
but no, oh no, the show goes on
a valiant soldier, clad in dawn
bravely steps up -- the child is safe!
she wouldn't have lasted alone, the waif
but in one simple chomp, our heroes gone
now who will help her carry on
oh now...
-----------------
The static and memories sit taciturn
glaring with spite, and dissident;
intersection of the two is what he yearns
for while his preoccupations are spent
on cool calculations and crisp precision
and rationale meets whimsy, eliminates
no music hears he; perpetual intermission
but somewhere small a child awaits
and he clings ravenously to the tailpipes
of the sensible car; whose ignition screams
his young mind catches sparks, ignites
as he surrenders business to dreams
-----------------
inexorable and exhausting comparisons occur
---
pusling, i percolate, languid, into bursts of time
streams of consciousness spill forth from the parietal
and both are intermingling, to the consistency of
plagioclase. they coalesce into a cluster
an acrylic abrasion along alabaster
a message to touch; words say too much
with less meaning. only through feeling
(yes, I decided to stop right there; I don't know what else to do for now, feel free to write the ending though, haha)
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