This is just a little something I wrote after my boyfriend broke up with me recently. It's probably a bit awkwardly structured and the last paragraph sucks in my mind. I translated it into Spanish too and there are probably a lot of errors because I'm not entirely fluent in it. And yes, I changed the meanings of some phrases from the English version in the Spanish version because they only make sense in English.
Edit: Yes, both versions are extremely informal! It [English version] is free writing.
English
I am not sure what my purpose in life is anymore. Time and time again, I have prayed to God for guidance and help but he never answers me. Although I am young and slightly inexperienced when it comes to being with someone, I have had my hopes and my heart crushed repeatedly. All I ask from anyone is for a little mercy.
Lately my life has been consumed by my school work and the drama of having to figure out where I really want to take my life - what path to choose - what college to go to. Everything that any upperclassman has to deal with when they near the end of their high school life. It gets to the point where you feel that you are suffocating and you can't escape, even though there's someone out there trying to hold on dearly to you. Then he realizes that his own life has turned into a mess. He feels that he can't support you and that you could do better.
The truth is... my heart screams at him to not give up, yet my logic says that maybe he is right. It's time to let go.
Since I was 11-years-old, I have dated many guys, the majority of whom were a lot older than me, and if there's anything I have learned it is this:
1. Being obsessive is okay but not to the point where you can't trust him anymore.
2. Fighting will get you nowhere - just bite back your tongue when you are angry and wait until your feelings have calmed down. Talking it through in a civilized and adult manner will fix things better.
3. If a man purposefully hurts your feelings - he is not worth the trouble. Dump him and move on.
4. Innocent, puppy love and heated romance can be balanced - you just have to know the right time to use them.
5. You have to be best friends. This includes not hiding secrets from each other, telling the other your problems, and being there to hold you in joy or in sorrow.
6. Actions speak louder than words to a man. Words speak louder than actions to a woman.
7. Never put anything before him. Not your pet, not your job, not your hobby. That's why it's best to share similar interests.
8. So, if you don't share similar interests, support him in what he does love and over time you could grow to love it as well.
Anyway, that's the list so far. I might think of more things to put there later but I can't think of anything at the moment. This is what I've learned up to this point in my life. Some may agree, others may disagree, but I believe them to be true. But who knows? My views could change by next year, or the next five years.
Spanish
¿Porque estoy viva? He orado por muchos días para que Dios me escuche y me ayude pero nunca me contesta. Soy joven y no tengo mucha experiencia en estar en un relación con un hombre. Mis esperanzas y mi corazón han rompido repetidas veces. Nada mas quiero un poquito de compasión antes que me vuelvo loca.
Recientemente mi vida ha sido consumido con trabajo de la escuela y toda la tragedia que viene con la presión de que quiero hacer con mi vida, que camino quiero seguir, y que universidad quiero a ir. Todo lo que cada persona en sus últimos días de escuela secundaria tiene que pensar en aquí en los estados unidos. Estoy en una posición que siento asfixiada y que no puedo salir aunque hay alguien aya afuera desesperado por que no quiere dejar mi mano. Pero el se da cuenta que su propia vida es un desorden. El siente que no me puede mantener y que puedo encontrar alguien mejor.
La verdad es que... mi corazón grita a el que no me deja, pero mi lógica dice que quizá tiene verdad. Ya tengo que dejarlo.
Desde que tenia once años he salido con muchos chicos - la mayoría estaban mas mayores que mi pero aprendí muchas cosas preciosas:
1. Siendo obsesiva de tu hombre no es una cosa mala antes que no puedes confiar en el.
2. Peleando no va a resolver nada - si estas enojada no digas algo antes que estas calma. Platicando como adultos civilizados puede lograr mucho mas.
3. Si un hombre resueltamente te duele tus sentimientos no merece tu amor. Larga lo y muévete adelante.
4. Inocente amor y romántico amor pueden ser equilibrados - nada mas tienes que saber cuando usar los.
5. Tienen que ser buenos amigos. No esconden secretos, diga al otro tus problemas, y esta con el en alegría o tristeza.
6. Acciones dicen mas que palabras a un hombre, pero palabras dicen mas que acciones a una mujer.
7. Nunca pongas algo antes que el. No tu animal, no tu trabajo, y no tu afición. Por eso es mejor en tener interesas similares.
8. Así que no tienen interesas similares soporte a el en cualquiera cosa que ama y con tiempo tu puedes llegar a amarlo también.
Bueno, eso es la lista y creo que tengo mas cosas a añadir en el futuro pero tengo que pensar en los. Esto es lo que he aprendido hasta este momento en mi vida. Algunos pueden estar de acuerdo con mis opiniones y otros no pero yo creo los que sen verdad. ¿Y quien sabe? Mis opiniones pueden cambiar en un año o cinco.
Edit: Yes, both versions are extremely informal! It [English version] is free writing.
English
I am not sure what my purpose in life is anymore. Time and time again, I have prayed to God for guidance and help but he never answers me. Although I am young and slightly inexperienced when it comes to being with someone, I have had my hopes and my heart crushed repeatedly. All I ask from anyone is for a little mercy.
Lately my life has been consumed by my school work and the drama of having to figure out where I really want to take my life - what path to choose - what college to go to. Everything that any upperclassman has to deal with when they near the end of their high school life. It gets to the point where you feel that you are suffocating and you can't escape, even though there's someone out there trying to hold on dearly to you. Then he realizes that his own life has turned into a mess. He feels that he can't support you and that you could do better.
The truth is... my heart screams at him to not give up, yet my logic says that maybe he is right. It's time to let go.
Since I was 11-years-old, I have dated many guys, the majority of whom were a lot older than me, and if there's anything I have learned it is this:
1. Being obsessive is okay but not to the point where you can't trust him anymore.
2. Fighting will get you nowhere - just bite back your tongue when you are angry and wait until your feelings have calmed down. Talking it through in a civilized and adult manner will fix things better.
3. If a man purposefully hurts your feelings - he is not worth the trouble. Dump him and move on.
4. Innocent, puppy love and heated romance can be balanced - you just have to know the right time to use them.
5. You have to be best friends. This includes not hiding secrets from each other, telling the other your problems, and being there to hold you in joy or in sorrow.
6. Actions speak louder than words to a man. Words speak louder than actions to a woman.
7. Never put anything before him. Not your pet, not your job, not your hobby. That's why it's best to share similar interests.
8. So, if you don't share similar interests, support him in what he does love and over time you could grow to love it as well.
Anyway, that's the list so far. I might think of more things to put there later but I can't think of anything at the moment. This is what I've learned up to this point in my life. Some may agree, others may disagree, but I believe them to be true. But who knows? My views could change by next year, or the next five years.
Spanish
¿Porque estoy viva? He orado por muchos días para que Dios me escuche y me ayude pero nunca me contesta. Soy joven y no tengo mucha experiencia en estar en un relación con un hombre. Mis esperanzas y mi corazón han rompido repetidas veces. Nada mas quiero un poquito de compasión antes que me vuelvo loca.
Recientemente mi vida ha sido consumido con trabajo de la escuela y toda la tragedia que viene con la presión de que quiero hacer con mi vida, que camino quiero seguir, y que universidad quiero a ir. Todo lo que cada persona en sus últimos días de escuela secundaria tiene que pensar en aquí en los estados unidos. Estoy en una posición que siento asfixiada y que no puedo salir aunque hay alguien aya afuera desesperado por que no quiere dejar mi mano. Pero el se da cuenta que su propia vida es un desorden. El siente que no me puede mantener y que puedo encontrar alguien mejor.
La verdad es que... mi corazón grita a el que no me deja, pero mi lógica dice que quizá tiene verdad. Ya tengo que dejarlo.
Desde que tenia once años he salido con muchos chicos - la mayoría estaban mas mayores que mi pero aprendí muchas cosas preciosas:
1. Siendo obsesiva de tu hombre no es una cosa mala antes que no puedes confiar en el.
2. Peleando no va a resolver nada - si estas enojada no digas algo antes que estas calma. Platicando como adultos civilizados puede lograr mucho mas.
3. Si un hombre resueltamente te duele tus sentimientos no merece tu amor. Larga lo y muévete adelante.
4. Inocente amor y romántico amor pueden ser equilibrados - nada mas tienes que saber cuando usar los.
5. Tienen que ser buenos amigos. No esconden secretos, diga al otro tus problemas, y esta con el en alegría o tristeza.
6. Acciones dicen mas que palabras a un hombre, pero palabras dicen mas que acciones a una mujer.
7. Nunca pongas algo antes que el. No tu animal, no tu trabajo, y no tu afición. Por eso es mejor en tener interesas similares.
8. Así que no tienen interesas similares soporte a el en cualquiera cosa que ama y con tiempo tu puedes llegar a amarlo también.
Bueno, eso es la lista y creo que tengo mas cosas a añadir en el futuro pero tengo que pensar en los. Esto es lo que he aprendido hasta este momento en mi vida. Algunos pueden estar de acuerdo con mis opiniones y otros no pero yo creo los que sen verdad. ¿Y quien sabe? Mis opiniones pueden cambiar en un año o cinco.
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