Becoming The Butterfly

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  • Chromer
    Hookers and Blow
    • Jul 2003
    • 4981

    #1

    Becoming The Butterfly

    Hey guys. Another short story from myself in a long time.


    To put things into perspective, one must look at the same goal with different eyes. Once this has been done, a person can then analyze what makes the other person's viewpoint just as valid as their own. It's funny sometimes. One would think that the world must hold this truth as one of the only remaining acclimations of human society and sociological confirmations. See, I didn't kill the whole store of people because I am a psychotic mass murderer with a penchant for blood and a tase for chaos and disorder. I killed because it was the releasing of 35 souls into a better understanding of their own selves.

    Let's look at things this way: the women screaming, the men whimpering, the children crying for their mothers and fathers, the unborn lying in the wombs of their mothers never to know the scent of a flower of the high note or a spring bird. It's beautiful it is. Have you ever once stopped to listen to the heartbeat of Mother Earth? To hear her sigh as the wind gently caresses your face or her warmth as the temperature rises to match her mood? I bet you haven't. The only thing that has ever concerned most of humanity nowadays is the next cup of Starbucks they can wrap their demented little lips around and what the world hasn't offered them already.

    Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.

    This is where my perspective comes in and shatters all others before it. Is death really the end? Depends on what you believe in. If you believe in Christianity, you either go to Heaven or Hell depending on if you accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior. If you believe in the Muslim faith, you must accept that Muhammad is the savior and that no other prophets are before him. If you believe in Hinduism, then death is only the closing of one life and reincarnation is the start of another. I have my own theory about life. Life is the small pond that resides in the forest of eternity. Over the couse of its time, it will be disturbed, inhabited, and generally left alone. However, when the one pond is joined by a billion other ponds just like it, we now have an ocean and the heartbeat of humanity. Can you feel it? The pulse that is shared between people when the air is silent and the only thing heard is the breath of one another? The exhalation of stress when one becomes comfortable in their surroundings?

    Now you are beginning to understand my perspective. Why do I persist? To answer this question, you must first answer it yourself. What make you continue living the life you lead? Is it power, respect, dignity, loyalty, self-loathing, or all of the above? Is it the thought of waking in the morning and resting at night? Are you afraid of death? Afraid to stare him in the eyes and say, "Bite me?" Or are you the risk taker? The person who take life by the balls and won't let go until what you want is given?

    HA HA HA HA HA. That is pathetic. By thinking that way, you are conforming yourself to two patterns of thought. You are either 1.) A spinless oaf of a person who does not know what will happen to them in life and always be afraid of what may come or 2.) a selfish, brutal person who only believes that the world revolves around them and so be it.

    If this is the case, then you might as well be the person behind the gun staring at the 35 you are about to murder because in reality Planet Earth, we are all animals trying to outsmart, outwit, overproduce, overwork, oversex, and outlive the next. It is Darwin's theory perfected. "Survival of the Fittest." If you cannot adapt to the change, then suffer to die and let the stronger rise above you.

    So that's what I did. I took my gun, went down to the nearest grocery store and rose above 35 others who were not ready for their metamorphosis into beautiful souls. So when this man finally says, "May God have mercy on my soul," I'll smile as the drugs course into my veins and my metamorphosis begins. I'll smile because this ugly catepillar is about to become a beautiful butterfly and rise above agony and pain and fly away forever.
    Last edited by Chromer; 09-22-2007, 10:16 AM.
  • ShastaTwist
    FFR Veteran
    • Sep 2004
    • 599

    #2
    Re: Becoming The Butterfly

    There are a few typos and grammatical errors, but nothing huge.

    Otherwise, it was very well written.

    Comment

    • xObserveRx
      FFR Simfile Author
      FFR Simfile Author
      • Aug 2003
      • 1148

      #3
      Re: Becoming The Butterfly

      I agree with shasta. It was well written, minus a few grammatical mistakes. However, this seems much darker than anything I've read from you before. What was the motivation behind this?
      Come Play The Werewolf Game!

      Comment

      • FoJaR
        The Worst
        • Nov 2005
        • 2816

        #4
        Re: Becoming The Butterfly

        Originally posted by Chromer
        Hey guys. Another short story from myself in a long time.
        WAY TO GO! YOU MESSED UP IN THE INTRO! THAT MAKES NO SENSE!


        To put things into perspective, one must look at the same goal with different eyes. Once this has been done, a person can then analyze what makes the other person's viewpoint just as valid as their own.
        you really have no idea how to write do you? are you talking about perspective like zooming out? because that's what "putting things in perspective" means. what you described is closer to coming to an understanding of someone else. not really perspective if the point is recognizing their views. and sometimes other peoples viewpoints ARENT as valid as mine, like right now. shasta and observer are way wrong. this was horribly written. a good idea? maybe. creepy, but maybe. but it was horribly, horribly written.

        It's funny sometimes. One would think that the world must hold this truth as one of the only remaining acclimations of human society and sociological confirmations.
        what the HELL are you trying to pull, chromer? quo usque tandem abutere, chromer, patientia nostra? you are a huge disgrace to your country, and to your fellow man.

        what does this sentence ****ing mean? i know you cant tell me, because it's nonsense! give me a definition for this sentence, and i guarantee you that it doesnt mean what your definition means, OR IF IT DOES, that it's complete bull****.

        you always do this, chromer. you always try to sound important. UGHHHHHH stop it.

        See, I didn't kill the whole store of people because I am a psychotic mass murderer with a penchant for blood and a tase for chaos and disorder. I killed because it was the releasing of 35 souls into a better understanding of their own selves.
        DONT TASE ME BRO!!! okay all joking aside, can you not see how RIDICULOUS THAT SENTENCE IS? you could have just said "because i am a serial killer." also, THIS DOESNT GIVE A GOOD PERSPECTIVE OF THE SERIAL KILLER.... if someone came up to me and was like when you die you get a better understanding of your own self, i would go "HOLY HELL GET AWAY FROM ME YOU ****ING WEIRDO"

        because that's not something that someone with a realistic view of reality would say. if your point is that "serial killers are ****ing nuts" then stop wasting my time and just say so.

        Let's look at things this way: the women screaming, the men whimpering, the children crying for their mothers and fathers, the unborn lying in the wombs of their mothers never to know the scent of a flower of the high note or a spring bird.
        THAT IS NOT A WAY OF THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING. THAT IS A STATEMENT ON HOW PEOPLE ARE BEHAVING. it's like saying "lets think about it this way: i ate an ice cream cone."

        It's beautiful it is. Have you ever once stopped to listen to the heartbeat of Mother Earth? To hear her sigh as the wind gently caresses your face or her warmth as the temperature rises to match her mood? I bet you haven't.
        WRONGO! in fact, i would bet that everyone has had that experience. in fact, i would bet that the only people who think that nobody else has felt what they have felt are stupid teens full of angst. this whole story is based on your angst. that's the flaw inherent in everything you write. it's based on your angst.

        The only thing that has ever concerned most of humanity nowadays is the next cup of Starbucks they can wrap their demented little lips around and what the world hasn't offered them already.
        see above, you awful excuse for a writer.

        Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.
        this has nothing to do with anything. this is basically your attempt at "all work and no play" but this isnt the shining, and you arent steven king. you're a hack. a bad one.

        This is where my perspective comes in and shatters all others before it. Is death really the end? Depends on what you believe in. If you believe in Christianity, you either go to Heaven or Hell depending on if you accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior. If you believe in the Muslim faith, you must accept that Muhammad is the savior and that no other prophets are before him. If you believe in Hinduism, then death is only the closing of one life and reincarnation is the start of another. I have my own theory about life. Life is the small pond that resides in the forest of eternity. Over the couse of its time, it will be disturbed, inhabited, and generally left alone. However, when the one pond is joined by a billion other ponds just like it, we now have an ocean and the heartbeat of humanity. Can you feel it? The pulse that is shared between people when the air is silent and the only thing heard is the breath of one another? The exhalation of stress when one becomes comfortable in their surroundings?

        Now you are beginning to understand my perspective. Why do I persist? To answer this question, you must first answer it yourself. What make you continue living the life you lead? Is it power, respect, dignity, loyalty, self-loathing, or all of the above? Is it the thought of waking in the morning and resting at night? Are you afraid of death? Afraid to stare him in the eyes and say, "Bite me?" Or are you the risk taker? The person who take life by the balls and won't let go until what you want is given?

        HA HA HA HA HA. That is pathetic. By thinking that way, you are conforming yourself to two patterns of thought. You are either 1.) A spinless oaf of a person who does not know what will happen to them in life and always be afraid of what may come or 2.) a selfish, brutal person who only believes that the world revolves around them and so be it.

        If this is the case, then you might as well be the person behind the gun staring at the 35 you are about to murder because in reality Planet Earth, we are all animals trying to outsmart, outwit, overproduce, overwork, oversex, and outlive the next. It is Darwin's theory perfected. "Survival of the Fittest." If you cannot adapt to the change, then suffer to die and let the stronger rise above you.

        So that's what I did. I took my gun, went down to the nearest grocery store and rose above 35 others who were not ready for their metamorphosis into beautiful souls. So when this man finally says, "May God have mercy on my soul," I'll smile as the drugs course into my veins and my metamorphosis begins. I'll smile because this ugly catepillar is about to become a beautiful butterfly and rise above agony and pain and fly away forever.
        i am going to stop with the line by line, and just say that everything you have written contradicts something else that you have written. you dont agree with yourself on anything. it really is the laziest, most cliche, awful, contradictory writing i have ever read. and that's just the analysis of the content.

        chromer you have the WORST voice, and i am not just saying that. i just read an AWFUL paper that someone in my creative writing class wrote, so i really do mean it when i say that you need to use a different voice. reading this story was like stabbing myself in the arm, over and over and over. PLUS IT WAS ****ING CREEPY.

        what the hell is up man, why cant you just write something nice that doesnt suck, just once?

        you need to come up with some of your own ideas, or write about something that's happened to you in YOUR life (lets hope that's not what this was). that'll get rid of the problem of you shamelessly stealing ideas from other people. maybe.

        then you need to tell your story to someone else, and have them write it up IN THEIR WORDS. this will get rid of your awful voice and complete lack of talent.

        good luck.

        Comment

        • Chromer
          Hookers and Blow
          • Jul 2003
          • 4981

          #5
          Re: Becoming The Butterfly

          Thank you for the comments. As always Fojar is being ignored. I'm suprised I haven't put him on the ignore list yet. Oh well.

          I was pretty depressed when I wrote this so I think that's where my motivation came into play.

          Comment

          • beaner692
            FFR Player
            • Oct 2006
            • 1071

            #6
            Re: Becoming The Butterfly

            I usually don't read forum literature, but I think this one is very well written, keep it up Chromer


            wewt10k aim: IMB3AU


            http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...&q=vertex+beta
            I play Vertex BETA :O

            Comment

            • mead1
              Cerebellumberjack
              FFR Simfile Author
              • Aug 2003
              • 3960

              #7
              Re: Becoming The Butterfly

              Originally posted by Chromer
              Thank you for the comments. As always Fojar is being ignored. I'm suprised I haven't put him on the ignore list yet. Oh well.
              Too bad Fojar is almost entirely right in every comment he makes about your story. 99% of the people who browse FFR will suck your dick on everything you write. As a writer, you want people like Fojar, because they actually tell you how to write better instead of posting "it was gud lol". Your constant ignoring of his comments makes it look like you're only posting what you write fishing for compliments. If so, go post it on gaia or something where there are no intelligent litfags willing to give honest criticism.

              Comment

              • zippaduder50000
                FFR Player
                • Feb 2006
                • 18

                #8
                Re: Becoming The Butterfly

                As we reached the world famous inner harbor of Baltimore I couldn't think of anything else other than how much I had been wanting to go and see my favorite punk cabaret perform live. The name of the band is The World/Inferno Friendship Society and they're a rotating cabaret and have had over thirty members rotating through over ten years now, but there are core members of the band who have been there for a long while. Leading the anarchy is singer Jack Terricloth, known for his bizarre monologues and commentary in between songs and during shows. Another amazing man is Franz Nicolay who plays the accordion and wears woolly pinstriped suits, newsboy caps and one waxed moustache. Now there are more members, but Jack and Franz are the ones that I like the most.

                We were so close to the Ottobar and I thought about how I got this far. Yes, it was a three hour drive, but along the way, we ran into a bit of a problem. We were all in the van finishing off the McDonald's food we had acquired in the early stages of our drive and then it hits me. "Hey dad, we need to turn around right now. I'm sorry I'm a jackass. I forgot my ticket." "Dammit!", my dad said. "How in the hell do you forget your ticket, Johnny? Can't be doin' that **** man! Oh well, at least you know now. It would suck to be in Baltimore and realize that then." "Yeah", I said, with shame. How could I have forgotten that thing? Without it I couldn't get in. My friend Josh paid for both of the tickets online and as we were about to leave from my house, he asked me to give him some money for purchasing my ticket as well. I remember taking the ticket from him and laying it on the table, so I could reach into my jeans and pull out my wallet and pay my him back. After I gave him the money I forgot about it.

                So now we've turned around going on I-95 south, and there's traffic like there always is. Traffic is always there at the most inopportune times and just makes me angry. The kind of angry that makes me want to grow a beard become a pirate or lumberjack and destroy things. So a minute passes which then turns into about 30 minutes. The whole time I'm thinking about how much of a stupid mistake this was. We finally made it back to the house and pull up into the drive way. I unlatch the seatbelt, open the van door, rush out to the house door, unlock it, run to the table, get the ticket, run back out, closing and locking the door behind me, and rush back into the van. At this point I'm prepared but still checking my pockets for my keys, cell phone and wallet just to make sure I'm really prepared as I think I should be, and I was.
                It was about a two and half hour drive up to Baltimore. As we passed the inner harbor we also passed the world famous baseball and football stadiums. The exit ramp turned into Howard Street. We stayed on this for about three miles but we had to be careful. There were street car tracks in the middle of the road. Street cars look like these trains that run on the roads but are powered by two or more electrical lines suspended above the street that go down a long, long way. We finally make it to the intersection of 25th and Howard, and my dad dropped us off at the corner. For the couple of hours that we would be at The Ottobar, my dad said he'd be at some sports bar just hanging out. My dad drove off into the obsidian night and left us. We walked no more than about 50 feet towards the front entrance when we saw a sigh posted on the door that said something to the effect of: EVENT LINE AROUND BACK. So we started walking around the building to get to the back. We walked past a little more than a quarter of the side of the bar when we saw where the line came out from. A lot of the people in line are all wearing leather with studs on them, scary-looking boots, and lots of punk plaid. I thought I saw a guy there with a kilt, but then again that might have just been his weird pants style. These were the people that were there to see Toxic Narcotic and The Sub-Humans. Then there was my crowd; trendy hipster anarchists in suits purchased from good will. And then there was the smell. The smell of downtown, the smell of urine, alcohol, and lots cigarette smoke. Over half of all the people there had cigarettes.

                As we anxiously waited at the back of the line for it to move up some more I checked my pocket again just to make sure I had my ticket. I did. The line moved sluggishly at first, but within about five minutes, it began to move a bit faster. We were greeted at the smoky event entrance by two grisly guys. One was kind of chubby and had a beard, and then other was skinny and a shaved head. They asked us for our tickets and we handed them over. After that, we both got X's marked on each of our hands to show that we had paid to get in. But before we left the large lad told us, "If it begins to wear off, come back to us ASAP. If you don't, we'll kick your ass out! Now have a good time!" That was a little bit reassuring. Before our band played, Toxic Narcotic was playing. They were loud. Really loud. They were like some crazy in-your-face speed metal punk band. They had a screaming vocalist that said the f-word over and over, a very talented and fast drummer, and some guitarists. Josh pointed out that one of the guitarists seemed a bit odd because he wasn't facing the crowd while he played. And he did that for the band's entire set. Now this was my first show that I've ever gone to. Josh thought it would be a great idea for us to go and mosh with the Toxic Narcotic crowd while we waited for our band go up on stage and play. As I made my way to the center of the mosh, pushig and shoving between sweaty bodies to get there, I was reluctant to be there in the middle of all that. First off, their music didn't appeal to me at all. I thought they were horrible, but that wasn't what their fans thought and i didn't want to get thrown before seeing world inferno played. So, I moshed and much to my surprise, moshing is a lot of fun. Was jumping up and down pushing people to and fro, having bodies pushed into me, and sent back. But I learned something interesting. People in mosh pits are really nice. If you fall down a hundred hands descend upon you to lift you up. And even in between one of the songs, the vocalist for Toxic Narcotic was like, "Someone's lost his glasses. Everyone help out and find them." And in about 15 seconds, they were found, unscratched and unscathed, and returned to the rightful owner.

                Now, what was interesting was that the fans of Toxic Narcotic didn't seem to know the names of the members. This was definitely not the case for the inferno fans. As Toxic Narcotic was closing shop and putting their equipment away and such, members of inferno started coming out and setting things up. One of the first was Franz Nicolay. As soon as he came out, everyone from the inferno crowd just yelled, "Franz!" and then he book a bow and continued to prepare his accordion and piano on stage. About a minute later Jack Terricloth made his appearance from the side and introduced the band by saying, "Hello all, I'm Jack Terricloth and this is THE WORLD/INFERNO FRIENDSHIP SOCIETY!"
                The drums began, slowly at first, then Franz started clambering on the piano, the saxophones roared with their rich sound, and Tattoos Fade had begun! Lucky Strano riffed on the guitar and the mosh just went like an avalanche of wet and hot bodies going all around. I was so happy to be there, in the middle of all that shouting the lyrics, jumping up and down, and moshing. Now all in all, being my first concert ever, inferno did a very good set that night. I reminisced clearly on what happened as we were making our trip back and now it all just seems like a blur, but that was just the best party.
                Last edited by zippaduder50000; 10-5-2007, 10:38 PM.

                Comment

                • beaner692
                  FFR Player
                  • Oct 2006
                  • 1071

                  #9
                  Re: Becoming The Butterfly

                  Originally posted by Chromer
                  So that's what I did. I took my gun, went down to the nearest grocery store and rose above 35 others who were not ready for their metamorphosis into beautiful souls. So when this man finally says, "May God have mercy on my soul," I'll smile as the drugs course into my veins and my metamorphosis begins. I'll smile because this ugly catepillar is about to become a beautiful butterfly and rise above agony and pain and fly away forever.
                  Is this saying you went and killed yourself


                  wewt10k aim: IMB3AU


                  http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...&q=vertex+beta
                  I play Vertex BETA :O

                  Comment

                  • ShastaTwist
                    FFR Veteran
                    • Sep 2004
                    • 599

                    #10
                    Re: Becoming The Butterfly

                    Originally posted by zippaduder50000
                    www.livejournal.com

                    diary entry
                    Wtf? Why would you post something so useless and poorly written as this in someone else's thread?
                    Last edited by ShastaTwist; 10-5-2007, 11:43 PM.

                    Comment

                    • Tibs
                      FFR Player
                      • May 2006
                      • 5235

                      #11
                      Re: Becoming The Butterfly

                      lololol chromer

                      Metal covers of vidya game songs

                      Comment

                      • hayatewillown
                        FFR Veteran
                        • Dec 2005
                        • 413

                        #12
                        Re: Becoming The Butterfly

                        Originally posted by ShastaTwist
                        Wtf? Why would you post something so useless and poorly written as this in someone else's thread?
                        Because he can.

                        Comment

                        • Chromer
                          Hookers and Blow
                          • Jul 2003
                          • 4981

                          #13
                          Re: Becoming The Butterfly

                          Originally posted by hayatewillown
                          Because he can.
                          Doesn't matter if he can. The fact is that the post has no bearing to the thread at hand. Mead, I've had my work published in my high school's Literary Art Magazine all four years. I've had my worked praised and I've had it absolutely shredded to bits. However, never did the teachers that critiqued my work do it in such a brazenly, ignorant manner as Fojar has done. This is why I'm adamant on ignoring him until he can show proper etiquette when correcting someone's work.

                          Comment

                          • zippaduder50000
                            FFR Player
                            • Feb 2006
                            • 18

                            #14
                            Re: Becoming The Butterfly

                            Originally posted by ShastaTwist
                            Wtf? Why would you post something so useless and poorly written as this in someone else's thread?
                            What I posted was a very rough draft of a narrative essay that I have to turn in to my English Composition Professor at NOVA (Woodbridge Campus). The topic was to write about an event in "narrative essay format" that happened in your life, how it affected you, how you felt about it, and how it relates to your passion.

                            booya

                            Also, my friend and I went to the show at the Ottobar up in Baltimore on the 22nd of September, 2007, a little over a week ago and I don't like Chromer. He needs to focus more on self 1 in the early stages of the writing process, creating a large text to work with and not worrying about screwing up, then switching over to self 2 to critically analyze the text and make adjustments as necessary. ie, moving paragraphs, maybe changing the thesis statement, etc..
                            Last edited by zippaduder50000; 10-6-2007, 08:48 PM.

                            Comment

                            • Chromer
                              Hookers and Blow
                              • Jul 2003
                              • 4981

                              #15
                              Re: Becoming The Butterfly

                              Originally posted by zippaduder50000
                              What I posted was a very rough draft of a narrative essay that I have to turn in to my English Composition Professor at NOVA (Woodbridge Campus). The topic was to write about an event in "narrative essay format" that happened in your life, how it affected you, how you felt about it, and how it relates to your passion.

                              booya

                              Also, my friend and I went to the show at the Ottobar up in Baltimore on the 22nd of September, 2007, a little over a week ago and I don't like Chromer. He needs to focus more on self 1 in the early stages of the writing process, creating a large text to work with and not worrying about screwing up, then switching over to self 2 to critically analyze the text and make adjustments as necessary. ie, moving paragraphs, maybe changing the thesis statement, etc..
                              Good for you. Post your own works in your own damn thread. You base your opinion of me based off of one work of literature? Please leave and come back when you have matured.

                              Comment

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