Becoming The Butterfly

[ShastaTwist]

Re: Becoming The Butterfly

What I posted was a very rough draft of a narrative essay that I have to turn in to my English Composition Professor at NOVA (Woodbridge Campus). The topic was to write about an event in "narrative essay format" that happened in your life, how it affected you, how you felt about it, and how it relates to your passion.

booya

Also, my friend and I went to the show at the Ottobar up in Baltimore on the 22nd of September, 2007, a little over a week ago and I don't like Chromer. He needs to focus more on self 1 in the early stages of the writing process, creating a large text to work with and not worrying about screwing up, then switching over to self 2 to critically analyze the text and make adjustments as necessary. ie, moving paragraphs, maybe changing the thesis statement, etc..

Your "narrative essay" was boring and repetitive.

[massflavour]

Re: Becoming The Butterfly

However, never did the teachers that critiqued my work do it in such a brazenly, ignorant manner as Fojar has done. This is why I'm adamant on ignoring him until he can show proper etiquette when correcting someone's work.

hmm I'd have to agree with fojar with and his critique. brutally true, and I wouldn't call it ignorant. only problem with it really is that it seems that he had to be a total dick about nothing rather than giving some "friendlier" (probably could have thought of a better word for this, lol) criticism.

[lord_carbo]

Re: Becoming The Butterfly

rofl I agree with FoJaR for the most part, desipite the endless array of unnecessary diatribes tacked on to his otherwise important critique. I suggest you take it seriously, Chromehead.

You attempts to incorporate wit and "cool" are dreadful.

rly kul

lolllllll hurrr

A sincere suggestion: stop.

[MalReynolds]

Re: Becoming The Butterfly

I've been published in real live magazines, websites, journals, and I've had plays produced.

And I ALWAYS listen to Fojar.

[esupin]

Re: Becoming The Butterfly

I admire Fojar for always saying something more than "I liked it a lot."

[All_That_Chaz]

Re: Becoming The Butterfly

while fojar makes better points than just about anyone, he could be nicer about it. and i didn't notice a lot of constructive thoughts in all the flaming. maybe i'm just a year or so late hearing about the bad blood between these two, i don't know.

that said, yes, it did indeed read like a livejournal entry of a pretentious high school student who wants the jocks to think he's capable of shooting up his school but wouldn't know what to do with a gun if it was loaded and aimed for him. either that or it comes off as the cheesy monologue at the end of a bad play. your character didn't have any real depth to speak of and his points were (beating a dead horse, i know) angst-driven.

i'm trying to come up with something constructive, but if you're going to hold yourself to higher standards than the average lit post, you're going to have to scrap this. i mean, i guess if you want to paint the portrait of a pathetic serial killer, you can keep the basic idea, but it comes off as too preachy and sincere for that as it is.

fojar, for my birthday will you tear my poetry apart?

[MalReynolds]

Re: Becoming The Butterfly

See, Fojar kind of gave up a long time ago. He would activley point out things that were flawed, but Chromer didn't really pay attention, and actually got highly defensive, and in turn, Fojar grew more and more irritated with Chromer because he just wouldn't listen.

Fojar cut apart a story I did when he first started reading what I wrote, and he was plenty snarky about it. But I went through, fixed the percieved errors, and argued the points as to why I didn't particularly agree with something that needed changing.

And now he's the best damn editor I have.

It's all about the respect you pay someone else. Eventually, you stop paying respect because it's a one way street.

[All_That_Chaz]

Re: Becoming The Butterfly

Seems like a lot of trouble to go to just to be mean, regardless of how right he is.

[xObserveRx]

Re: Becoming The Butterfly

So all that being said, what does it mean when Fojar (or anyone for that matter) simply doesn't say anything regarding your work at all? I've posted quite a few things here, all of them, at least in Fojar's eyes, have to be problem-ridden. He always gets his two cents in with Chromer... actually, many of the regulars to this forum read and comment about Chromer's work. So I'm really curious as to why, with all my attempts at getting something I've written torn up by Fojar, has this not occurred?

[ShastaTwist]

Re: Becoming The Butterfly

He doesn't hate you enough.

[xObserveRx]

Re: Becoming The Butterfly

Oh. Well that's a shame then.

[MalReynolds]

Re: Becoming The Butterfly

To be honest, he only started tearing my stuff apart because I had a huge ego about my writing. After I conceded that I wasn't great, he started to be a little more friendly.

Now, this doesn't mean that I even begin to know what goes on down beneath the deep layers of the elusive Fojarious-Dindrus, but there's that.