my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

**cooldude35** · 08-20-2007, 03:29 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

nice poem

**Tokzic** · 08-20-2007, 03:36 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

This isn't a poem, it's a garbage piece of prose cut into lines.

**imajrockette** · 08-20-2007, 03:41 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

Originally posted by Tokzic

This isn't a poem, it's a garbage piece of prose cut into lines.

w/e stop haiting becuase yours probably arent better.i made it from my heart so if you dont like it then oh well

**Tokzic** · 08-20-2007, 03:55 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

ok il stop haiting

**Infinity^** · 08-20-2007, 03:56 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

Originally posted by imajrockette

w/e stop haiting becuase yours probably arent better.i made it from my heart so if you dont like it then oh well

omg i laughed so hard.
Before you show a piece of writing you should actually write something good.
Also your two young to have your heartbroken.
k bye.

**imajrockette** · 08-20-2007, 04:08 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

wth do you mean by im to young to have my heart broken?!

age dosent matter actually so what is it called then.i did write something good anyways since i wrote it from my heart so thats all that matters.atleast i didnt take someone else work and claim it as mines and so now its wrong to write from my hearrt and how i feel?

you dont have to be a a**hole about it you can just give advice on how to make it better.

i made a spelling error with hating jeez.so if you want to give advice just give it then XXP

this poem isnt one of my best but im trying to make the best out of it.i wirte poetry when im depressed.its a better resoution then cutting or trying to kill myself isnt it?!

if you have a problem with my poetry then to damn bad and dont comment on it then if you just have something bad to say k?

you can actually be almost any age to get your heart broken or atleast feel the pain what are you trying to say anyway 14 is to young to right?

**stretchypanda** · 08-20-2007, 04:15 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

Honey, you're going to have to learn to take some criticism if you're willing to put your work out for the public to judge.

**stretchypanda** · 08-20-2007, 04:17 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

PS tokzic maybe be less rude without backing yourself up.

**alster1** · 08-20-2007, 04:21 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

Originally posted by imajrockette

wth do you mean by im to young to have my heart broken?!

what are you trying to say anyway 14 is to young to right?

join date: april 2007
age: 13
posts: 5

lmfao

**cooldude35** · 08-20-2007, 04:24 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

Originally posted by alster1

join date: april 2007
age: 13
posts: 5

lmfao

lol nice!

**Tokzic** · 08-20-2007, 05:10 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

Originally posted by stretchypanda

PS tokzic maybe be less rude without backing yourself up.

Did in the other thread, but believe me, giving criticism and just having people flame you for giving it gets dull.

**stretchypanda** · 08-20-2007, 05:40 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

Hey alster and cooldude I'm glad you're contributing to the conversation.

**Tps222** · 08-20-2007, 05:59 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

It's a free-verse poem, relax Tokzic.

I think that is pretty good for her age (yes, age does matter, sorry). I can't say I agree with the content of the poem though. It has some nicely written lines

i can't believe that a crush can bring so much pain but then again maybe thats how it got its name

.". which I feel like I've heard in a song or something before, but I looked it up and couldn't find any other results, meaning she must have wrote it (imo, good if I think I heard it in a song.

So yeah, as for the content. It's going to be kind of hard to convince a lot of people on here that at your age it's possible to have loved or have your heart broken, but it's not your job to convince them I guess. As for the lines that exclaim how you're the one at fault and should have seen that he was a jerk/played games/etc is absolutely ridiculous. You should be mad at whoever it was for doing whatever he did, and don't feel too guilty about it being your fault or something. Chances are at your age, guys do not take relationships serious enough to expect much more anyway.

Also, I don't know how much I like the "love hated me" line. Honestly, it sounds a little cheesy and it overall silly. Stop blaming everything else other than the fact that whoever you were with was a complete ass to you apparently and just realize that you're probably better off without him.

The "i'll be single forever" line is just going a bit too far. You're 13 or 14, I didn't even have my first girlfriend until I was 14, and even though I thought it was really serious and the real deal back then, I can look back and realize how nieve I was. You obv won't be single forever, you're just going through a rough and confusing time I guess.

**cooldude35** · 08-20-2007, 06:29 PM

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

Originally posted by stretchypanda

Hey alster and cooldude I'm glad you're contributing to the conversation.

was that sarcasim?

my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

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