my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

[Infinity^]

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

Sorry.
I was just expecting that if you were going to show poetry on ffr, it was actually going to be like... a poem.

[imajrockette]

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

yeah okay...i'll take the critism thanks...

[ShastaTwist]

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

You should get published.

But with my version of your poem.




I cared too much and it shattered my heart,
Tiny pieces scattered across the cement flooring of my soul,
How could this beautiful thing called love,
Completely and totally tear me apart?

You would never cry over me,
But I've spent so many nights crying over you,
This crackling in my nose is the tell-tale sign,
Of the mess that I am coming to be.

How can I blame you for this pain?
I should have seen right through your lies,
But it hurts so much, this loneliness you left me with,
And these tears fall like December rain.

How will I recover from this fall?
I should have prepared myself for this,
Should have known this was coming,
Should have anticipated your not caring at all.

I'm drawing tiny hearts all over the place,
Oh, I don't think this 'love' thing is for me,
Writing down tiny snatches of phrase,
Trying so hard to forget your face.

Everyone's telling me just to forget you,
But my heart's telling me to keep holding on.
I can't endure this pain for much longer,
This loneliness and hurt is so new.

[imajrockette]

Re: my new poem-my heart is breaking and you dont even care

0_o wow...thats very good ^^.thanks for the help.im not plnning on getting my poems published since i dont think theyre good enough to get put in books or anything and im still trying to work on my skills as a poetry writer ^^