as stupid as this sounds,

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

or, if you dont wanna IM me, i just need some kind of advice.


Me and my girlfriend have been together for over 6 months. Shes never been in love before and either have I. But we really did fall in love, and took things too fast I THINK. In the beginning of january, we took a break because she got scared that we were moving too fast. But she realized she couldnt live without me. Needless to say we were back together within 72 hours.

Everything has been fine since then. Until tuesday (2 days ago), she was acting weird, like she didnt want to be around me. Wednesday, we couldnt even see each other because we both had to work. And today I had to work and she went to a concert. I called her, and she seemed weird on the phone. Then I asked her if "we were okay, like us". and she said basically "..."

I dunno, her phone was about to die and now im in suspense. This is litterally how the conversation went when i asked that.

Me - "Are we okay, like us together in general?"
Her - "welllllll... i dunnnoooo"
Me - "Remember last time this happened you told me you would tell me if I was being to clingy or if things were moving too fast"
Her - "Yeah, but i dunno, its hard to explain. When we first met, i told you i didnt want a serious relationship. remember that?"
Me - "Yeah, and i didnt either, but it happened, we fell in love."
Her - "I know and its just scary"
Me - "I know. You dont want to break up do you?"
Her - "No. Not at all, its just.. i dunno"
Me - "I dont know either..."

then her phone died.

Now her phones dead and i cant talk to her.
What the **** is going on?

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

Take some time apart (a few days), go talk a walk outside (it works for me, it clears my mind). Try again.

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

i believe you may be right.

i think honestly, because i know her, i think its a Trust issue.


Every relationship shes been in, her boyfriend has cheated on her. When I say "oh im different, i wont do that" how is she supposed to believe me?

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

sorry for double post again.


But you realize that we do have time apart. i didnt see her on wednesday or thursday. im not going to see her today either. Saturday was going to be the next time we could see each other.

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

I hate when this kind of thing happens to me, it happens way too often when either party in a relationship overthinks things. Take Henry David Thorough's advice: Simplify. Don't over think what's going on, and don't worry about what you can't do anything about. You heard it from her; she doesn't want to break up with you, so it shouldn't be a big deal, and if there is something else, you can talk to her about it when she gets home/gets to a phone.

In general, this kind of thing happens less often if you have regular "talks" with each other. I've started just checking on relationship status officially with my gf every couple weeks just to make sure we're both happy. We usually just say what's been on our mind—what seemed too insignificant to say at the time. I really recommend it.

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

haha, shox - its like you know exactly how we are without even knowing us.

when she gets mad, she yells and screams.
when i get mad, i NEVER yell or scream; i try to talk about it.

and quoting her "HOW THE FxCK CAN YOU STAY SO CALM?! I WISH YOU WOULD YELL AT ME"

its crazy. and thats the thing. I do love her. Ive never been in love before. But I cant imagine my life without her.

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

She's pregnant.

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

hey if you need advice from a girls perspective, let me know, cuz i have this same problem with trust issues, from guys cheating on me in the past.

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

it would be nice to have your perspective on whats going on.

and pntballa - I would laugh, but we've already had so many close calls. Condom ripping and her taking Plan B. Its scary.

That is amazing advice.

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

well if you want to talk on aim i can do that, to give you a girl's perspective and from someone who knows kind of what's going on in your girlfriend's mind...kind of..

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

Just as an added bonus, this is what her "about me" says on her myspace.. It will give you a feel of how she is and thinks.

"I'm Allie
I'm the worst kind of person.
I will probaly hurt you way more than once so please dont get close to me.
I never know what i want.
I always think im right. and stubborn. always have been always will be."


And its true. I cant convince her of anything. Shes not a bad person, its just hard to get thru to her.

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

eeek, that's kinda bad....

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

you would think so, but its been this way for over 2 months.
so thats why i dont think that has anything to do with it, but it does show what she thinks about herself.

Re: as stupid as this sounds,

i love to offer any advice that i can help on! i love listenin to people talk about their problems, or difficulties...if you just need someone to vent to, i'm here...or if you would like some kind of advice..i'm here for that too!