The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

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  • DDRAngel
    FFR Player
    • Jan 2005
    • 79

    #1

    The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

    The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

    What the future embraces
    No one knows for sure
    What the past retains
    Creates knowledge everyone claims

    Population ever augmenting
    Contemporary reports of almost 300 million
    Increasing over forty thousand a year
    I speculate over-population is near

    Childhood steadily becomes drawn out
    Companionship achieved later
    Married with children at thirteen was customary
    Twenty-five is contemporary

    Marriage was once sacred
    Divorce uncommon
    One in every three currently stuck with this blow
    The devastating rate not likely to slow

    Education becomes more complicated
    College was not required
    Now admittance becomes emulous and rough
    In the future will this higher education be enough?

    Our history has always been colored; light and dark
    All races under authoritative powers, some merciless and intimidating
    All men are created equal now covers all
    We will embrace the knowledge; it will not be our downfall

    The skies will be dirty
    The water will be polluted
    We will run out of gas
    Without improvement, this may be our fate, alas.

    Telegraphs, telephones, and light bulbs; a blast from the past
    Internet, cell phones, and Ipods; the current array
    Hovercraft cars, teleporters, and human cloning; the future embrace
    Will we be able to keep up with the quickening pace?

    Politics, economy, ourselves to blame
    Catastrophe and happiness
    The poor, the rich, the starving and well fed
    The only entity that never alters is charge isolated.

    The end will come
    When will the time permit; this is the conundrum
    The apocalypse will arrive, some assume
    All I know is that Earth will meet her doom


    I'll take comments or criticism.
    Tell me what you think.
    Once in his life,
    every man is entitled
    to fall madly in love
    with a gorgeous redhead.
    Lucille Ball
  • FoJaR
    The Worst
    • Nov 2005
    • 2816

    #2
    RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

    poor vocabulary choices in several places.

    subject matter not compelling.

    cliche?

    Comment

    • Chromer
      Hookers and Blow
      • Jul 2003
      • 4981

      #3
      RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

      Fojar, I'm still waiting for you to produce some literary work instead of exhaling fecal matter from your mouth everytime you post.

      Comment

      • JurseyRider734
        lil j the bad b-word
        • Aug 2003
        • 7506

        #4
        Re: RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

        Originally posted by Chromer
        Fojar, I'm still waiting for you to produce some literary work instead of exhaling fecal matter from your mouth everytime you post.
        I don't think you even need to see any literary work from him considering every single thing he says is right.

        So shut up.
        Originally posted by Arch0wl
        I'd better be considering I own roughly six textbooks on logic and have taken courses involving its extensive use

        Originally posted by Afrobean
        Originally Posted by JurseyRider734
        the fact that you're resorting to threatening physical violence says a lot anyway.
        Just that you're a piece of shit who can't see reason and instead deserves a fucking beating.

        Comment

        • FoJaR
          The Worst
          • Nov 2005
          • 2816

          #5
          Re: RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

          Originally posted by Chromer
          Fojar, I'm still waiting for you to produce some literary work instead of exhaling fecal matter from your mouth everytime you post.
          right back at you.

          Comment

          • DDRAngel
            FFR Player
            • Jan 2005
            • 79

            #6
            RE: Re: RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

            Great now It's a flame board.

            Anyways...how is it not compelling?

            It's an assignment. I had to write about my predictions for the future and where is the poor vocab?
            Once in his life,
            every man is entitled
            to fall madly in love
            with a gorgeous redhead.
            Lucille Ball

            Comment

            • FoJaR
              The Worst
              • Nov 2005
              • 2816

              #7
              RE: Re: RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

              yeah sorry about that, chromer follows me around.

              it's just not very original in theme.

              about the vocab... you use too much, and in a few places you use the wrong word for the job.

              poetry is about brevity and simplicity... that's what seperates it from prose.

              the mistake a lot of beginners (no offense, i'm not the Golden God of poetry or anything) make is being too wordy... but in my mind that's not the biggest problem of this poem.

              the biggest problem is the subject matter, shit is played son.

              Comment

              • Laharl
                FFR Player
                • Sep 2003
                • 1821

                #8
                RE: Re: RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

                I'm going to have to go with FoJar. Rhyiming doesn't make something poetry. It still reads like prose. There's no particular scheme throughout the poem, making no sense of continuity between passages.

                Also, subject matter here has been beaten to death. Gloom and doom about the future is a lot of been there, done that.
                SIG PICTURES:

                POINTLESSLY TAKING UP BANDWIDTH SINCE THE INCEPTION OF THE INTERNET

                Comment

                • DDRAngel
                  FFR Player
                  • Jan 2005
                  • 79

                  #9
                  RE: Re: RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

                  And if you didn't catch where I said IT IS AN ASSIGNMENT; I HAD TO PREDICT THE FUTURE. You would OBVIOUSLY understand that I couldn't pick the subject.


                  Oh yeah Casey, and you're the one to talk about gloom and doom being beaten to death?
                  Once in his life,
                  every man is entitled
                  to fall madly in love
                  with a gorgeous redhead.
                  Lucille Ball

                  Comment

                  • FoJaR
                    The Worst
                    • Nov 2005
                    • 2816

                    #10
                    RE: Re: RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

                    ZING!

                    what i'm saying is that you didnt have to make your prediction of the future the way it was. throw in a gnubarb, or the pixie king midor.

                    forget electronics, pixies are where it's at, man. the pixilogical advances in stardust within the next 20 years will leave you floored. i guarantee it.

                    writing is not about following set guidelines... it's about captivating your reader, and presenting them with something interesting and entertaining. i mean, guidelines are there for a reason, and you cant forget about them, but you have to remember that to succeed as a writer you must be able to keep the attention of your reader.

                    Comment

                    • DDRAngel
                      FFR Player
                      • Jan 2005
                      • 79

                      #11
                      RE: Re: RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

                      *blinks* pixies...

                      I'm sorry I don't interest YOU throughout the poem...BUT PIXIES?!

                      This is for AP US History...HISTORY....meaning technology more important things.

                      Doubt they write about pixies in history.
                      Once in his life,
                      every man is entitled
                      to fall madly in love
                      with a gorgeous redhead.
                      Lucille Ball

                      Comment

                      • FoJaR
                        The Worst
                        • Nov 2005
                        • 2816

                        #12
                        RE: Re: RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

                        those scheming little bastards are behind everything....

                        little known fact: hitler was a pixie

                        Comment

                        • DDRAngel
                          FFR Player
                          • Jan 2005
                          • 79

                          #13
                          RE: Re: RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

                          Okay? But what does that have to do with predictions of the future?

                          How could I possibly connect, hitler, pixies, and the future?
                          Once in his life,
                          every man is entitled
                          to fall madly in love
                          with a gorgeous redhead.
                          Lucille Ball

                          Comment

                          • FoJaR
                            The Worst
                            • Nov 2005
                            • 2816

                            #14
                            RE: Re: RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

                            hitler is bound to rise again.

                            he's got pixie blood. they always rise again.

                            Comment

                            • DDRAngel
                              FFR Player
                              • Jan 2005
                              • 79

                              #15
                              RE: Re: RE: The Futures Embrace, Former Knowledge

                              No, anyways, what is your definition of prose?
                              Once in his life,
                              every man is entitled
                              to fall madly in love
                              with a gorgeous redhead.
                              Lucille Ball

                              Comment

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