Power Rangers

Okay, you guys are probably gonna laugh at this, but I might as well say it:

Earlier tonight, I watched (hear it comes, you ready?) POWER RANGERS! I hadn't seen the show in so long so I figured I'd see how much it's changed. Holy friggin crap, it's nothing like it was. They were like, police people but they were power rangers. They were all like "You're under arrest!" and then they'd be fighting and then monsters would appear and they'd be like "aww junk, let's morph" and then it's like BWOOM ZOOM POW and they're morphed. It wasn't just lightning around them, too, they did this crazy animation thing.

And the story (if you can call it that) didn't make all that much sense. Like, I thought Zordon (the floating head....yes I remember his name) was weird in the old Power Rangers, but the...police chief (I guess?) is a friggin dog. Well, not a dog, but it's a person with a dog head and hands, err, paws. It was a dogman. Like a werewolf, but more like a domestic animal, and he was blue. That's right. And like, the Power Rangers were rookies on the police force. Like, there's the A squad and the B (crappy) squad. And like, the B squad wishes they were A squad but A squad is all like, awesomer and stuff and B squad is like crap man we should be A squad they're awesome and A squad is like okay whatever morons. Okay so they don't actually say that but A squad is all like sir yes sir and they go and whoop ass and it's crazy and like, they're awesome. But B squad sucks. They only had 3 guys. What a load of crap.

Actually, I think it was the first episode of the season. There were these two criminals who turn into Power Rangers later because they whoop the B squad's ass so the police chief/blue dogman/thing is all like "them g's be pimpin' yo" so they recruit them. But like, one of the criminals is a black guy and the other is this girl that kinda I dunno she looked like, if you wanted to be stereotypical or something. The girl on the B squad to begin with was this ditsy blond with blue eyes that was all "like, omg that's so like, awesome!" all the time. She's the pink ranger. No surprise there. And the other chick was yellow. BUT the black guy, he was the red ranger. I was like WTF so Power Rangers can be sexist but not racist!?

But then I thought about it. WAS THE ORIGINAL POWER RANGERS SEXIST AND RACIST!? I mean, let's just look at things. Yellow and pink are girly colors, right? The two girls had yellow and pink. Mhm, yeah. And ya know what color the one black dude was? Yeah, he was the BLACK ranger. Oh, and you know who the yellow ranger was? THE ASIAN CHICK! The red guy seemed to have red tones, the pink one was all prissy and girly, and the blue one was nerdy (I don't know when blue became the color of nerd, but whatever). So basically, the entire show was one giant stereotype.

But then I thought about it more. Like, they're all these different groups that oughta hate each other, right? Like, the black ranger oughta be listening to gangsta rap and "blastin' on fools" or drug dealing if it's gonna be stereotypical, right? And the pink ranger oughta be gossipping while she gets her nails done and like, going out with football players and beating nerds away. And the yellow one should know karate and be smart and awesome at video games. And the blue one should be...nerdy? But naw, they all got along. The black one could have been like, yelling at stupid prissy pink girl for being brought up racist and having racist red power ranger as a jock boyfriend, all while nerdy blue and super smart asian compete for valedictorian, but no. They all got along.

So really, Power Rangers was about equality, getting past your differences, and seeing people for who they really are.

New Power Rangers is a load of crap.