I never write...

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  • midnghtraver
    Icarus Moth
    FFR Music Producer
    • Jan 2006
    • 2064

    #1

    I never write...

    for shits and giggles, like ever. I was feeling kind of odd tonight and just randomly decided to write some crap down.

    Most of this is true, but keep in mind, writing is not one of my strong suits so please judge softly :3


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I awoke at one in the morning, which is not a particularly strange occurrence. What was odd, however, was my decision to go for a walk. It was the middle of August, so the days were still bright and warm, but the nights had started to get crisp with the coming cold, that night being no exception. I went out with nothing but a t-shirt and sweatpants, but I wasn’t bothered. I had become used to the cold during the many months I spent skiing up in the cold mountains of Colorado.

    I walked up the street, the roadside lamps flickering on and off making my breath look erie as I breathed out cold air from my lungs. Everything was different at night, as if all of the color was sucked out of the world to be replaced with faded memories of the colors things were in daylight. I liked it though, it made everything look older somehow, gave objects a solemn emotion. Everything had a personality at night, or at least it seemed to. Maybe that was just due to the fact that I was completely by myself walking up the street at one in the morning.

    I walked for what seemed like hours, with no real destination, just thinking about nothing in particular, my thoughts only to be interrupted by the occasional passing of a car, its headlights penetrating the dark of night. I was finally pulled out of my thoughts for good by the realisation that the sun had started to rise above the horizon, its early morning rays casting odd distorted shadows over the landscape, which I also realized, did not look familiar to me at all. It seemed I had wandered off further than I planned. I decided that it was time to head back.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Now that I see this in a post it looks like a really sad amount of writing. However, it takes up like a whole page in google docs so fukdapolice

    EDIT: I also realized that I start every paragraph with "I" Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
    Last edited by midnghtraver; 08-20-2012, 11:41 PM.
  • TheSaxRunner05
    The Doctor
    • Apr 2006
    • 6144

    #2
    Re: I never write...

    I never write ... but when I do it's solemn and true ^
    Realization* sorry for my inner spelling Nazi!


    Comment

    • cedolad
      moonchild~
      FFR Simfile Author
      • Jan 2007
      • 6879

      #3
      Re: I never write...

      I just needs a bit of revision, as you already stated all of the paragraphs start with "I".

      For the most part, it seems like a great introduction. Pretty good detail, nothing to really nitpick at. I'd like to see where this is heading, and what the story is actually about. Maybe you could focus a little more on the whereabouts of the character, instead of just saying he's on the streets at one in the morning. I just assumed he was in a city, but this can easily be misinterpreted.

      Comment

      • midnghtraver
        Icarus Moth
        FFR Music Producer
        • Jan 2006
        • 2064

        #4
        Re: I never write...

        Originally posted by cedolad
        I just needs a bit of revision, as you already stated all of the paragraphs start with "I".

        For the most part, it seems like a great introduction. Pretty good detail, nothing to really nitpick at. I'd like to see where this is heading, and what the story is actually about. Maybe you could focus a little more on the whereabouts of the character, instead of just saying he's on the streets at one in the morning. I just assumed he was in a city, but this can easily be misinterpreted.
        Originally this was the start to a short story, which I may end up finishing. The problem with that is I basically just took a walk up my street in my head then transferred it into something interesting to read. I have no idea where to take it, but I'll try.

        EDIT: Also the reason it ends all dumb and random is because I'm exhausted and going to bed haha.
        Last edited by midnghtraver; 08-20-2012, 11:41 PM.

        Comment

        • cedolad
          moonchild~
          FFR Simfile Author
          • Jan 2007
          • 6879

          #5
          Re: I never write...

          If you need any help, I'd love to throw you a few ideas and help you revise it.

          Comment

          • midnghtraver
            Icarus Moth
            FFR Music Producer
            • Jan 2006
            • 2064

            #6
            Re: I never write...

            Originally posted by cedolad
            If you need any help, I'd love to throw you a few ideas and help you revise it.
            That would be awesome

            Comment

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