A Poem from an ameteur

[dore]

Re: A Poem from an ameteur

yeah that's a terrible word choice lol

[Zythus]

Re: A Poem from an ameteur

He said it as amateur, its not bad.

I guess brush up to get some more excitement and variety of different ideas portrayed in the poem is my suggestion.

@ the religion fiasco above:
Don't bring all that religion stuff here please, we don't care that you disagree or agree with this poet's point of view, but don't come in here and vandalize his thread. He asked for a critique on his writing, not his beliefs. Thanks.

[All_That_Chaz]

Re: A Poem from an ameteur

Last I checked, I could write a poem about whatever I wanted. I think I'll write a poem about how your religious views are wrong. Or maybe a poem about soldiers molesting children, or a poem about the Civil Rights Movement from the point of view of a white supremecist group, or anything else that's protected by my first amendment rights.

No offense, Tokzic, you know I love you

Oh, and on the poem, Tokzic basically hit the nail on the head with the first half of his post. You should absolutely write about what you're passionate about, but this needs a lot of work.