"Lessons"

[Aduro_Animus]

Re: "Lessons"

I never said I didn't care about the quality of my work, I said I didn't want to make it perfect. Not to mention there's no way to make it absolutely perfect other than to destroy it and even then, it's a matter of opinion.

On the other hand, I didn't say I didn't like this poem, I said I liked the other one better, so let's not mince words, shall we?

[Wintergreen]

Re: "Lessons"

*shrugs* It's often the littlest changes that make the biggest difference. You don't have to strive for perfection to strive for improvement.

[ShastaTwist]

Re: "Lessons"

Littlest, eh?

[MalReynolds]

Re: "Lessons"

Two females?

...

In the Lit forum?

Fa-wahhh?

[Wintergreen]

Re: "Lessons"

Two females?

...

In FFR?

Fa-wahhh?

(lol)

[sujishishou]

Re: "Lessons"

girls can read?

[Wintergreen]

Re: "Lessons"

girls can read?

No, we're obviously illiterate. Can't you tell? =P

[MalReynolds]

Re: "Lessons"

No, we're obviously illiterate. Can't you tell? =P

I myself can neither read nor write. All of my so called stories and posts can be attributed to fits of perplexing whimsy.

[Wintergreen]

Re: "Lessons"

I myself can neither read nor write. All of my so called stories and posts can be attributed to fits of perplexing whimsy.

I have brain farts.

[ShastaTwist]

Re: "Lessons"

This conversation should be in another thread.

[FictionJunction]

Re: "Lessons"

This conversation should be in another thread.

biased post.

[All_That_Chaz]

Re: "Lessons"

It took me forever to finally read this poem.

People have been whining about the cliches. I mean, every single line is a cliche. Because of that I took it to be a funny perspective on emo teenagers writing poetry filled with stock lines and forced emotions.

Sorry if that sounds offensive, but that's how I saw it. As far as improvements go, if you really were going for the idea being purported with the words of the poem, I would get rid of the cliches altogether. Even one makes the work sound hackneyed.

-Chaz

EDIT: also, free verse may be leaving you too many options and causing you to use cliches when other forms wouldn't allow it. it's like I always say, it's easy to write mediocre free verse, but it's harder to write great free verse than a great poem in form.