Stillness In The Dark - Dj Renewman

[Chromer]

Yesh Guys! After griping for almost two years I finally made my first song. It's not very good but my friends and family like it. Its called Stillness In The Dark.

http://www.acidplanet.com/artist.asp?PID=504674&T=1115

PS: I have 911 posts! Someone call 911!

[slimshdy425]

RE: Stillness In The Dark - Dj Renewman

Needs transitional fx, this is so random. Background piano is too low-quality, and the lead synth is pretty bland. Not too bad for a first song though.

[Chromer]

RE: Stillness In The Dark - Dj Renewman

Wow, I needed some honest opinion not an all out assault on me.

[falconsfan14]

RE: Stillness In The Dark - Dj Renewman

i thought it was good.

[g0ldenSun11]

That wasn't much of an all-out-assault.

[Chromer]

Well not all out but more put-down then uplifting if you what I mean. And thank you Falcon.

[evilbutterfly]

How'd you make it?

[Chromer]

With Acid Pro 5. The rest is my secret. lol

[slimshdy425]

Uhhh sorry if you thought that was an assualt, just trying to give some constructive criticism.

[SpookG]

For someone who isn't much better at writing music you sure have a lot to say about what Chromer wrote, Slim. It isn't about kissing ass, but what you said doesn't really help him. "It is so random" can mean a lot of things. What is so random? Any suggestions how to make it better? If you aren't going to take the time to turn your negative comment into actual feedback then you might as well not say anything at all.

This song is actually more house than trance, Chromer. If you dropped in a nice sub bass line, very simple, maybe just accenting upbeats with some movement, it would sound much fuller.

http://www.spookgoblin.com/last_night_i_had_this_dream.mp3

Probably not the best example, but it will get my point across. Just something threw together real fast. The first part has no bassline in it, and you notice how the lead sounds more detached from the rhythm? With the bass part in it, the song has a more complete feel to it. I'm not sure if this is very well explained, and you can probably ask Jewpin that it is very hard to have me teach anything about music production as I just stop making sense.

To sum up, there are times when you would not want bass in your song, and times when you would, but with what you wrote, you could go through the main part several times with a bassline and slowly bring one in, and you will find it will help draw you into the song.

[Chromer]

Actually Spook, I went back and listened to the song, ans I seriously just saw that it was a house song. But I mean, at the time I didn't really think the song neededa hard bassline as you can hear towards the middle of the song.

[slimshdy425]

Sorry, when I wrote that I was in a rush. By random I meant that parts of the song came in without warning and didn't seem to fit. I did say how to improve when I said it needs some transitional fx. Transitional effects include cymbal crashes, reversed cymbal crashes, reversed kicks, whitenoise sweeps etc.

Once again, sorry for any hurt feelings or anything.

[sleeplessdragn]

Hey why not put in a drawn bass and maintain the tranquil hats and beats. i think it would make great low toned music. oh and i didnt really like the space of just percussion. i think if you take that out and introduce a second melody it might be better. just my opinion.

edit: and slim transitional fx aren't always needed, as sometimes simply breaking off the music gives a tension that can be slowly released. It's like, uh, holding your breathe and exhaling slowly.

[slimshdy425]

I know they aren't always needed, just thought they would have made this particular song better.