All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

[mattyohh]

"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."-Brooke Shields

"Please provide the date of your death."
-from an IRS letter

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. - Weisert

[Chromer]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

"What is today but yesterday's tomorrow?" - Eugene Krabs

"I'm gonna rape you until the laws of physics has been violated!" - Tycho/Penny Arcade

[FFR4EVA_00]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -George W. Bush

"Plans were announced to raise $300 million for the George W. Bush Presidential Library. $300 million. That's almost $150 million per book." -Jay Leno

"Either this wallpaper goes or I do." -Oscar Wilde on his deathbed (reportedly)

[Omeganitros]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

"You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose." -Booger

[nforcer06164]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." - Hillary Clinton


"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." - Some Texas Congressional candidate


"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." - Al Gore


"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - Al Gore


"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." - Winston Bennett


"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle


"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey


"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - Bill Clinton


"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." - Miss Alabama 1994


"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." - Keppel Enderbery


AND THE BEST ONE (not necessarily a human quote):

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." - Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

[stretchypanda]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

"Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway." - Elbert Hubbard

"If you had to have a diploma or a GED to collect unemployment, you'd see a lot more kids staying in school." - Wayne Knight (yay, education!)

"Some people talk simply because the think sound is more manageable than silence." - Margaret Halsey

And, finally:

"I'm touching my nose! I can't feel it, but I know I'm touching it... because I'm in college!"

[vashthestampede0987]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

[emccky]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
--Albert Einstein

[PsYcHoZeRoSk8eR]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

"If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, why practice?" - unknown so i won't take credit

[chickendude]

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"Words don't have vowels"
-Chardish

[Torlock]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

"Ain't nobody gonna shoot me." -Lee Harvey Oswald

[chickendude]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

I'm pulling out some tus

"McMannus, he don't believe in god, but he's scared of him.
I believe in god, and there's only one thing that scares me:
Kaiser Soze"
-Verbal Kint

and of course

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled..... was convincing the world he didn't exist. And then, just like that... he was gone"
-Verbal Kint

[deltro300111]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

"What do you get with something and a something with a something?

One's a sick duck, The others..Well, I forgot how it ends but your mother is a whore."

- Hyrogashi

[FluorescentArmy]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

"You can't mind coal without machine-guns."
--Richard B. Mellon

[scorpio1690]

Re: All Time Favourite Quotes Ever

"Nothing tragic ever happens to the Kennedys"
--JFK (Clone High) right before his car flips over, crushing him